How best to ruin Mass Effect 3
- Thread starter radioactive lemur
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You have it all wrong, that would instantly make the game hilarious and great. The only thing that could be better is if everyone was Hanar.mjc0961 said:
OT: Tali is a facehugger, and romancing her causes Shepard to die in a gruesome manner and the Normandy to be filled with baby Quarians (who devour/reproduce with the crew). Also the game's main plot revolves around Shephard trying to deal with an unfortunate Gizka infestation, that way they can make a 4th game in which Shepard may or may not finally stop screwing around and actually go kill the reapers (depending on whether EA is done milking the cash-cow yet, so... unlikely).
You're introduced into the new combat system. RTS battle system complete with level grinding and airships. And Shepard has a pointy purple haircut.
Shepard dies at the beginning of the game, and is put back together by the Collectors, who really only wanted to help everyone. You get cutscenes where Garrus, Tali, Liara and the other important characters from the other two games insult you personally about how horrible you are for working for the Collectors, but never give the player a choice...
You know what?
Just repeat the same basic process of ME2, but replace Cerberus with Collectors and make everyone hate them.
You know what?
Just repeat the same basic process of ME2, but replace Cerberus with Collectors and make everyone hate them.
Shepard being able to save everyone with no costly sacrifice. Being able to have no one killed in ME2 on the last mission made the tension die fast, and made me feel like what I did was just another mission. Make me sacrifice, make me pick no easy choice.
Make shepard look like Skeletor and kill off every character you saved. Then make the player have to walk across the same exact size Terrain that the Mako Missions from ME1 were in.
It's easy, the reapers are vulnerable only to cuddles and soft bunnies, and you spend most of the game collecting cute bunnies to combat the reapers
All females on your crew now act and look exactly like Miranda.
The Mako is back, baby! Loads of required missions with it, and the controls are unchanged from ME1.
Aw what the hell am I suggesting here? They are doing a much better job killing the game than I am...Kinect...
The Mako is back, baby! Loads of required missions with it, and the controls are unchanged from ME1.
Aw what the hell am I suggesting here? They are doing a much better job killing the game than I am...Kinect...
Seeing Tali die after you sleep with her in the Romance or if you romanced her before.
Talis' face being ugly / weird
party member who goes insane and kills other party members or would that just be cool?
BTW I have never played ME before I just know about it but never got around to buying it.
Talis' face being ugly / weird
party member who goes insane and kills other party members or would that just be cool?
BTW I have never played ME before I just know about it but never got around to buying it.
Everyone seems to be having fun with their personal nightmare scenarios, so I'll try and be truly melancholic and forsee how the game most likely could be screwed up on the actual disc.
- Make aggressively tedious side objectives mandatory towards story completion, i.e. mineral scan X number of planets for narrative-necessary ship update
- Erase all playability for any/all paid DLC characters
- Stretch linear fire fights out even further, reducing dialogue and narrative points to the level opening and closing
- Limit ramifications of carry-over decisions from 'Mass Effect' 1 and 2
- Reduce player choice in the narrative to aesthetic character changes and cut/paste level swaps
- Expand customization options in the wrong direction: reducing weapon outfit and armor specifications while offering more armor color options and statistically useless paid DLC weapons.
- Continue showing no females of any species besides human, asari, and the partially hidden krogan seen in the E3 demo
- Adding more Paragon/Renegade "Press Left Trigger for Action" moments
....I'm depressed now.
- Make aggressively tedious side objectives mandatory towards story completion, i.e. mineral scan X number of planets for narrative-necessary ship update
- Erase all playability for any/all paid DLC characters
- Stretch linear fire fights out even further, reducing dialogue and narrative points to the level opening and closing
- Limit ramifications of carry-over decisions from 'Mass Effect' 1 and 2
- Reduce player choice in the narrative to aesthetic character changes and cut/paste level swaps
- Expand customization options in the wrong direction: reducing weapon outfit and armor specifications while offering more armor color options and statistically useless paid DLC weapons.
- Continue showing no females of any species besides human, asari, and the partially hidden krogan seen in the E3 demo
- Adding more Paragon/Renegade "Press Left Trigger for Action" moments
....I'm depressed now.
Let's see...
Kill off the character the player romances.
Combine the scanning and mako sections (first scan, and then when you find something you have to go down there with the mako trying to find one patch of mineral, in landscapes twice as huge as in the first game) You do this like 15 times on each planet. Also it's mandatory.
Let the player choose if he wants to see Tali's face or not. And then do the opposite of what he chooses (probably only messes with those who don't want to see her face though).
Put in elevators again. But make them longer and completely silent.
And then at the end I would pull the "It was all a dream!" card. Yep the beacon was really just some sort of sophisticated TV, and the reapers was really the villains in som cheesy prothean b-movie. So all it was, was just some ancient prothean flick messing with your head as you sleep in the normandy med bay. So nothing you did throughout three games mattered at all.
Kill off the character the player romances.
Combine the scanning and mako sections (first scan, and then when you find something you have to go down there with the mako trying to find one patch of mineral, in landscapes twice as huge as in the first game) You do this like 15 times on each planet. Also it's mandatory.
Let the player choose if he wants to see Tali's face or not. And then do the opposite of what he chooses (probably only messes with those who don't want to see her face though).
Put in elevators again. But make them longer and completely silent.
And then at the end I would pull the "It was all a dream!" card. Yep the beacon was really just some sort of sophisticated TV, and the reapers was really the villains in som cheesy prothean b-movie. So all it was, was just some ancient prothean flick messing with your head as you sleep in the normandy med bay. So nothing you did throughout three games mattered at all.
Make it so the whole Mass Effect series was really a massive online roleplaying game played by advanced alien beings. The reapers true purpose is to wipe out civilization every 50,000 years so players don't get so bored.
Bonus points if you know what game series actually did something like this.
Bonus points if you know what game series actually did something like this.