How can you justify this view-point?

[Treblaine]

OP, here is some sage advice from my momma:

"Never be afraid to ask for help if it means you can do what you couldn't do alone"

It came from when my brother was working a tough job and was being asked to work beyond his limit yet didn't want to refuse to do tasks. My mum as a manager knows what she wants, she wants the job done and if they haven't quite got what it takes then she just wants to know they are willing and if they need help doing something like loading crates into a van, then arrangements will be made to put two people on the job, or with specialist equipment.

Basically, your attitude should be:

"I really want to do well in school, but I need help with my bereavement"

This is what people in charge like, they don't like quitters. They can't do anything with them, what they can do is if you say you are willing but they need something to do it, THAT they can help with. They can sort things out, they can make accommodations like arranging counselling, extra tutoring, moving around syllabus, deadline-extension or changing subjects.

You can't give up. You have to try, and ask for the help you need and deserve.

 

[Robert Ewing]

I suppose you can't let the death of your father (Tragic as it may be, and I'm truly sorry for you loss) ruin your chances at a successful life.

You need to succeed, not mourn your father in the most important moments of your life. You need to dedicate yourself to studying hard, to be able to earn much currency, and succeed in life. You will find a wife, and have ten thousand children. Then you can be as awesome of a dad as I'm sure yours was.

Try not to mourn him, try to impress his memory. If you try hard, and win at life. He will be proud of you.

 

[Sansha]

I'd recommend going to the school board about this... this really isn't an acceptable viewpoint. Losing a relative can be crushing and life-changing for a child, and making them feel like they shouldn't grieve is going to be much, much worse on them.

 

[Rancid0ffspring]

Grr... I hate to be THAT guy that justifies it, but here goes.

Crying over your loss isn't going to fix anything. The best thing you can do is to move on. Life goes on.

I think that's the underlying point.

You probably have several "Here here"'s by now but I agree with you.

OP... no offense, what you have experienced at a young age is tragic and I do not envy you in any way... same with anyone else who has encountered such a tragedy at any point in their lives.

Point that I believe he has tried to get across (POORLY) is as follows

Don't fuck up your education then say "Woe is me I had it hard because of XXXX went wrong in my life"

I don't approve with his method but I certainly do agree with the point he was getting across.

Sorry if that portrays me as a monstrous c**t

 

[LitleWaffle]

I'll try to justify it, but I won't respect this viewpoint in any way whatsoever.

Justification: If you lose someone close to you, think about it.
Would that person who cared about you want you to fall behind in your studies because of it? That person may not be around anymore, but they surely didn't want their death to ruin more than one life.

There are many flaws to this statement, I know. Regardless, that is probably the best way I can justify it.

He is still a huge butt.

 

[AngelOfBlueRoses]

IT's quite easy to justify.

The family member is gone. No amount of grieving is ever going to bring them back however if you fuck up at school thats your whole future riding on it.

Thats usually how someone like that thinks anyway.

Where the hell do you come off saying something like that?! That's one of the most cynical views I've ever encountered in the world and you're a piece of shi-

Before some serious mental case starts trying to abuse me thats not how I feel thats just how people can justify it.

...oh. My bad.

*snrk*

OT: Yeah, pretty much what this guy says. That's how it's justified by people like that. I don't believe in it and since I know a few things about psychology and psychiatry, I wouldn't recommend telling that to anyone who has lost a family member.

PS. Your headmaster sounds like a dick.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

Huh, he sounds like some sort of amalgamation of Dean Viru Sahastrabudhe from "3 Idiots" [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3_Idiots] and headmaster Randy White from "A Prayer for Owen Meany".

 

[yman15]

What a wanker. I could justify it, but then I'd have to think like a wanker, and I hate that.
But I'm sure it goes something like "They're gone now and can't affect you anymore. Carry on."

Yeah, this. It's easy to justify, but you just feel so dirty doing it.

What I want to know is how you could justify it? Not if you feel bad doing so. Just because I dont understand it.

Alright, hold on a sec...

..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*CLICK*

--DEACTIVATING EMOTIONAL RESPONSE SUBROUTINE
--PLEASE ENTER KILL CODE
--***********
--CODE CONFIRMED
--EMOTIONAL RESPONSE SUBROUTINE INACTIVE

Ok. If you had a job, you would get only a specific amount of time off to mourn. Usually, the days of the funeral/wake. If you were to fuck up your job because of it, on average, you would lose that job. That logic can carry over to kids in school. Yeah, it sucks, but part of life is about dealing with that bullshit and getting over it. You can't let that stuff fuck up your life, because there will come a time where you need to deal with it, a lot. It is a point that rings very true... but it is a tad harsh to push on kids.

Now, excuse me while I go kill puppies and ignore children crying over it. I may also steal their candy and punch their noses.

lol that was hilarious!!!!!!! You're killing me man (awesome pun intended) but yah that's the only way you can justify it

 

[Dogstile]

If he said you can move forward from it in response to a question, sure!

If its a case of "You're depressed and can't work because your dad died? HAH, GO CRY ON SOME CAKE, FATTY, YOU'RE JUST LAZY" then he can go suck a massive dick

 

[Z3RO180]

and thats why we have really really hard sticks.To hit assholes like him.

 

[Tentickles]

Why do I need to justify my view point?
Isnt that the point of it being MY view point...

 

[VanTesla]

So, I have currently gone into another year at my school. The year before we got a new Head Master, and he has made a lot of changes. He's changed the school uniform (i'm British btw), put everyone into a class system and has put a business park over the road (or at least going to). He has also made most of the veteran teachers and senior staff redundant, and replaced them with business people. Anyway, all of that doesn't matter but what does matter is what he said in our opening assembly.

"If you have lost a relative, it is not an excuse to do bad in school. I once said to my nephews after they lost their mother "just because this happened, is not your excuse to start failing in school"

The main reason I'm offended is because I lost my father when I was 6, it affected most of my school work and social life. He is basically saying that if you have had a life affecting tragedy, that doesnt mean you dont have to do your work.

So escapees, what do you think could justify this, or make it unjustifiable.

[EDIT] He has also just sent out a person who had just lost two of her brothers in a terrible car accident because she was being ill mannered and wanted to have attention. Theres some more reasons for you to call him an asshole

[return of the edit!] For people who have been asking about the context, it was at a start of year assembly where he boasts about last years exam results and tell us all to behave well and not be naughty.

He is a huge douche, but he is right that you should not let the loss consume you to the point of making you unable to function in your studies. He should have rephrased how he went about speaking of the matter to be more sympathetic and not come out looking like a emotionless being. He should have gone on saying that it would dishonor the person that has left you by letting yourself fail because they are gone from this world. I have let my self be consumed by emotions and know how bad this truth can be. I still don't agree how he went about it and question his skills with educating younger minds with his attitude.

I would not mind punching him though if he said that to me when I lost some one I loved recently.

 

[Jodah]

See in most American Schools and Universities such decisions are handled by each instructor. Most of the time they will give you extra time for homework or rescheduling an exam for you. Stuff like that. You still have to do the homework, they can't just give you an A because someone in your family passed away, but they give you consideration.

I had to do that my final year at College (Uni for those across the pond). My mom passed away and I missed a week of classes. All of my professors offered me extra time but I declined it.

Its possible you are misinterpreting his meaning (possibly because he worded it poorly). A family member dieing isn't an excuse for a free pass for all your classes. It doesn't work that way in the real world (bereavement time is usually unpaid or short time), nor should it in school. However, it does give a reason to offer some leeway on the part of instructors.

 

[Imperium9990]

Yeah I could justify this view point.. If I were a major douche.

 

[Arluza]

this is the mindset that the megacorporations in the states have. He is preparing you for the work force or something I guess.

Sure, the guy is a dick, but you should be THANKFUL he is letting a little waste of life like you exist in the first place. (Note: that is not my mindset, that is his.)

 

[spartan231490]

So, I have currently gone into another year at my school. The year before we got a new Head Master, and he has made a lot of changes. He's changed the school uniform (i'm British btw), put everyone into a class system and has put a business park over the road (or at least going to). He has also made most of the veteran teachers and senior staff redundant, and replaced them with business people. Anyway, all of that doesn't matter but what does matter is what he said in our opening assembly.

"If you have lost a relative, it is not an excuse to do bad in school. I once said to my nephews after they lost their mother "just because this happened, is not your excuse to start failing in school"

The main reason I'm offended is because I lost my father when I was 6, it affected most of my school work and social life. He is basically saying that if you have had a life affecting tragedy, that doesnt mean you dont have to do your work.

So escapees, what do you think could justify this, or make it unjustifiable.

[EDIT] He has also just sent out a person who had just lost two of her brothers in a terrible car accident because she was being ill mannered and wanted to have attention. Theres some more reasons for you to call him an asshole

[return of the edit!] For people who have been asking about the context, it was at a start of year assembly where he boasts about last years exam results and tell us all to behave well and not be naughty.

I would have walked out of an assembly if someone said that. I would have changed schools. He's a . . .
. . .
. . .
I don't have a word bad enough to describe him. Superdouchatrocious? Can that count as a word?
Anyway, he's a dick. Lots of people are. Accept it and ignore it. If you feel that his being a dick will negatively affect you (because of his authority over you) try to change schools or something. Write letters to the school board telling them how much you were offended and try to get some friends to do the same. Or, write multiple different letters and send them anonymously. Hope this helps, good luck.

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

Either he's never lost anyone close to him, is an emotionless asshole, or simply cannot comprehend what people go through when that happens. I mean what does he expect? (I know crappy dialouge isn't the best way to convey this, but bare with me)

"My...my parents were just killed in a car crash. Never again will I taste my mother's cooking, or watch a game with my dad. All the good memories, the laughs, the happiness...I will never know any of that again.

Oh well, that English paper isn't going to write itself. FIVE SECOND MOURNING PERIOD OVER!!!"

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Repress your feelings, kids! Grades are more important! It's not like they'll come back later on in your educational life ten fold and turn it intoma living Hell or anything!

Yeah, I've lost both my parents, one at age eight, and the other on the day I turned twenty, and those losses have caused me some academic trouble. But not because I was trying to take advantage of my parents' deaths to justify avoiding school, which is what your principal seems to be assuming every tragedy stricken kid does. What a self-righteous, paranoid prick, having the gall to attack people who have just had personal calamities. Somehow, I can't help but guess that both of his parents are still alive.

 

[Ashannon Blackthorn]

Seems to me the headmaster is technically right, but isn't exactly diplomatic about it. Sounds like your headmaster is a psychopath. Not the chainsaw wielding murderer psycho but unable ot empathize with others that don't share his viewpoints, and deeming others views not important.

 

[SnipeHunter11]

That seems like an odd way to start off a school year... Though in a weird way, it was probably meant to be motivational. You know, stiff upper lip, all that very British stuff. Without a recording of what was actually said though, it's hard to figure out what the intent actually was.

I disagree with the statement that losing a family member is not an excuse for doing poorly... but you should still have to jump through hoops to actually get any scholarly benefit from it. Just because somebody happened to die, does that mean you should get a free pass for a couple of months? Or even the whole year? Poor behaviour and failing grades as a result of a loss should be dealt with, yes, and perhaps a bit of leniency could be extended. But dealing with the ultimate consequences of loss is not the responsibility of the school. Well, except for the school counselor. Assuming there is one, of course. I guess the headmaster's just trying to prepare people for the real world. Because unless you get a really cushy job, it's rather difficult to get more than a week or so of bereavement leave.

TL;DR:
Headmaster was probably just trying to be motivational. Stiff upper lip. Very British!