How did you do that?

[Baby Eater]

with a college degree in pillaging

how did you lick the back of your knee?

 

[Ren3004]

I cut off my tongue.


How did you cut off your tongue without crying?

 

[Jaywebbs]

I'm a real man.

How did you get more cowbell.

 

[Ren3004]

I killed all the cows.


How did you resist me?

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

By kicking you in the crotch, you bloody rapist.

How did you evade the cops?

 

[Neonbob]

I blew up the bridge.
And all their cars.

How did you reload your rifle with only one hand?

 

[Ren3004]

I lowered it away from view.


How did you learn kung fu?

 

[Neonbob]

I ripped out a kung fu master's brain and ate it.
Works wonders sometimes.

How did you steal an election?

 

[Ren3004]

With a gun.


How did you get a flamethrower?

 

[Neonbob]

I stole it.
From my neighbor's backyard. It's not like he'll miss it.

How did you steal my keyboard?

 

[Ren3004]

With a sneak skill of 76.


How did you punch me through a wall?

 

[Neonbob]

I'm just that damn epic.
And the building codes SUCK.

How did you learn to shoot lasers out of your ass?

 

[Ren3004]

I eat 5-7 servings of photons a day.


How did you survive in a nitrogen only environment?

 

[Neonbob]

I learned how to make my body use nitrogen correctly.

How did you get a famous person to support you?

 

[Ren3004]

Money. Lots of it.

How did you get so much money?

 

[XIII's Number XIV]

I have my ways...

How did you survive Twilight the Movie?

 

[ThreeWords]

I was with my girlfriend

[sup]Suffice to say, I was more than slightly distracted[/sup]

How did you catch a fly between your teeth?

 

[Ren3004]

I lured it into my mouth. Don't ask me how.
[sub] Trust me, you don't want to know.[/sub]


How did you become grandmaster of the Assassin's Guild?

 

[ThreeWords]

I assassinated my predecessor, obviously

How did you survive my coup?

 

[Neonbob]

I shot your forces. Remember?

How did you return from hell?