I've never considered random people on the internet to be a good source for help with personal problems, but I figure why the hell not ask. It's not like asking is going to ruin things more for me.
Look, I never had a good time at school. The friends I did have I rarely saw, I alienated a lot of people with poor choices, and I've turned a lot of people against me. I've dealt with all of that. But when I was having troubles with my social life, I always knew that there was one place I could go to escape; home. Home was where I could just be at ease, forget about my miserable and pathetic circumstances, feel loved, and just live a good life. It's what a home should be for everyone, and it's what kept me from being permanently depressed throughout my life.
But now I have to face the grim reality that even my home isn't free from trouble anymore. MY parents hate each other. They're going to get divorced. Deep down I always knew this was coming, but I never thought about it. I never wanted to, because the idea of the one thing that kept me truly happy being ruined was heart breaking. But now that things are finally going into motion, I have to accept this. As a seventeen year old, I should have accepted it. My brothers have, my parents have, my relatives have, so I should have.
But I can't. I keep trying to run from the issue. To avoid thinking about it until the very end. Sometimes I'm forced to confront it, often breaking down as a result. But after those break downs I felt renewed, like I had finally accepted what was going on. But it wouldn't be long before I'm once again denying the issue and have no longer accepted it. I feel immature and pathetic. I want to be able to get over this and live my life, to stop being depressed over something I can't change. But no matter what I do, I can never truly deal with this issue. And it's really starting to mess with my behavior.
So anyone have any advice for how I can truly accept my circumstances and stop being depressed about them?
Look, I never had a good time at school. The friends I did have I rarely saw, I alienated a lot of people with poor choices, and I've turned a lot of people against me. I've dealt with all of that. But when I was having troubles with my social life, I always knew that there was one place I could go to escape; home. Home was where I could just be at ease, forget about my miserable and pathetic circumstances, feel loved, and just live a good life. It's what a home should be for everyone, and it's what kept me from being permanently depressed throughout my life.
But now I have to face the grim reality that even my home isn't free from trouble anymore. MY parents hate each other. They're going to get divorced. Deep down I always knew this was coming, but I never thought about it. I never wanted to, because the idea of the one thing that kept me truly happy being ruined was heart breaking. But now that things are finally going into motion, I have to accept this. As a seventeen year old, I should have accepted it. My brothers have, my parents have, my relatives have, so I should have.
But I can't. I keep trying to run from the issue. To avoid thinking about it until the very end. Sometimes I'm forced to confront it, often breaking down as a result. But after those break downs I felt renewed, like I had finally accepted what was going on. But it wouldn't be long before I'm once again denying the issue and have no longer accepted it. I feel immature and pathetic. I want to be able to get over this and live my life, to stop being depressed over something I can't change. But no matter what I do, I can never truly deal with this issue. And it's really starting to mess with my behavior.
So anyone have any advice for how I can truly accept my circumstances and stop being depressed about them?