I found a new girlfriend (yay) sadly she doesn't videogames (crap).Thruogh she's nuetral on the subject gaming is a BIG part of my life and I want her to be a part of it.So simply answer the questions above and hopefully i'll have a girlfriend next week.
how do I tell my girlfriend I play videogames and how get her to enjoy them with me
- Thread starter Dylan Bonnett
- Start date
"I play videogames" usually works.
Does she have to enjoy them? You could do other things with her.
Also, I'd have popped this in the advice forum, just saying for next time.
Does she have to enjoy them? You could do other things with her.
Also, I'd have popped this in the advice forum, just saying for next time.
Initially I'd tell you to keep gaming to yourself - let it be your thing and not try to involve her. But as you wont accept that as a valid answer I'd say pick a game you think she may like and have her watch you 'finish up' when she arrives at yours i.e. get yourself near to a save point, wait for her to turn up and say "be right with you, just going to save this" and make sure she watches you so she can see how pretty it is. Finally I'd ask... why isn't this in the advice forum? =)
Or you can just play your games like usual. Just don't try and force it on her. Chances are, if she sees you playing a game and she is interested, she will ask to have a go herself. Don't try and force things on other people if they aren't interested, it's a sure fire way to piss them off and eventually they will avoid you for it. Just be glad you have a girl who is okay with the fact that you play games.
Portal (1, I don't know about 2; Preferably on the PC) Just show her how to Use the mouse and WASD to navigate a 3D space, if she doesn't already know, and let her roll from there.
Trust me, It is the perfect game for gauging whether or not someone will enjoy (non-casual/simple) 3D games.
It is Also the perfect tool for portraying how Games can be more than just "Kill and Murderize things" which is an unfortunately common viewpoint...
But seriously, have your GF try out Portal. If she digs it, go on to Portal 2 and/or just try the co-op together.
Trust me, It is the perfect game for gauging whether or not someone will enjoy (non-casual/simple) 3D games.
It is Also the perfect tool for portraying how Games can be more than just "Kill and Murderize things" which is an unfortunately common viewpoint...
But seriously, have your GF try out Portal. If she digs it, go on to Portal 2 and/or just try the co-op together.
Right, you're going to need some chloroform, a rag, a sturdy chair, some rope and a projector screen. So when she next visits your humble abode you're going to make her pass out with a chloroform soaked rag which you had prepared before hand then tie her to the chair that you have sitting in front of the projector screen and begin a 72 hour gaming session, if needed add more time but that should be enough to brain wash her into liking games. No need to thank me i'm happy to help.
Well, try a romantic walk on the zombie infested streets of New Orleans. Nothing like saving your girlfriend from a hunter to bring you closer.
don't force her to play games if she has no interest in them. mention it and ask her if she wants to play along by all means but don't try and make her play them, you'll only piss her off. if she doesn't want to play them, that doesn't mean you have to stop playing them as long as you don't let the games get on the way of the relationship
Definitely don't feel that you automatically have to give up gaming (or other interests), that just leads to resentment. Personal experience talking there. Of course, she has a right to some of your time and attention, so if she's specifically come over to see you, don't blank her for your game.
As for integrating her into gaming, don't force it. My advice would be to start off with a co-op split-screen thing, so you're doing it together. If she's playing a singleplayer thing, she'll probably feel dumb every time she screws up in front of you, and playing vs. multiplayer will either result in your pwning her each time or her feeling like you're letting her win. A fun title like one of the LEGO games would be a fairly good introduction - not too many controls, very forgiving gameplay and genuine co-op.
If it turns out she's not into gaming, make sure that she's got something to do if you're playing with her around. It's no fun sitting and watching someone else play videogames.
Final thought - at the end of the day, you've got to weigh up whether you've got enough in common for the relationship to work. If you're finding that you're unhappy with the amount of time you've got to yourself or that she's unhappy with the amount of time you're gaming, maybe it's just not right.
As for integrating her into gaming, don't force it. My advice would be to start off with a co-op split-screen thing, so you're doing it together. If she's playing a singleplayer thing, she'll probably feel dumb every time she screws up in front of you, and playing vs. multiplayer will either result in your pwning her each time or her feeling like you're letting her win. A fun title like one of the LEGO games would be a fairly good introduction - not too many controls, very forgiving gameplay and genuine co-op.
If it turns out she's not into gaming, make sure that she's got something to do if you're playing with her around. It's no fun sitting and watching someone else play videogames.
Final thought - at the end of the day, you've got to weigh up whether you've got enough in common for the relationship to work. If you're finding that you're unhappy with the amount of time you've got to yourself or that she's unhappy with the amount of time you're gaming, maybe it's just not right.
Umm.. If she doesn't agree with the fact you're a gamer, it's not going to last long. Be up front. If she breaks up with you, she's a shallow, small minded moron.Dylan Bonnett said:
You can't build a good relationship on a lie (if you don't tell her/hide it). But hey, if all you want is to get experience in what not to do, or you just want to get laid, hide it.
Tell her you play games. If you hide it, she'll wonder why and that will lead to problems. (Telling her 'because I know you don't like them' will probably make her think you don't trust her, another 'deal breaker')
Don't try to force games on her, best case she'll just say she's not interested at all, worst case, you give an impression that you won't accept her unless she plays games, she ends up hating you and all games because of it, and you break up in a bad way.
Since you also said she's neutral on the issue, don't worry too much. For you to know this, you'd have to have bought the subject up before. If you continue to play games, and not shaft her whenever you are playing games, you will get to keep a great passtime, and will likely earn her respect. (Steriotypes work in your favour here, remember all the 'If a guy talks to you whilst playing COD he really likes you/is just dead facebook likes? by proving this isn't true, you show yourself as above the rest [hopefully])
If she's not OK with you playing video games, you have two options. Either way though, you must take a firm stance. Don't act all depressed or anything, no sad acts. Just be firm and either:
a) Tell her that you will give up video gaming and actually do (If you decide to keep playing games after telling her you'll stop, your bound for trouble). This will hopefully earn her approval and respect, and show her how much she means to you.
b) Tell her that you will not give up gaming, it is a part of who you are, and if she can't accept that then she's not right for you. Chances are, its true. If she can't accept you gaming, she probably isn't the right girl for you. This is also, by the way, effectively you 'breaking up' with her, rather than the other way round, so hopefully you won't hurt as much if you choose this. Best case, she sees that what you said is true, and decides that maybe she wasn't trusting you enough and you stay together, and you get to keep gaming. Worst case, you have a mature 'break up' that you can both hopefully accept.
I will make a couple of things clear under no circumstances should you:
- Hide the fact that you game from her
- Lie to her
- Try to coerce or force her into gaming
- Not make a decision on which of the above two 'She hates gaming' solutions posted above
- Let gaming dominate your time
-Flood her with games, try maybe one or two a week at first. If she likes them, gradually build up.
If you want to get her into gaming, pick a game that she might enjoy* and play that casually whilst around her (Only when talking or watching TV [Time wasting activities], never when doing anything else). If she looks interested, ask her if she would like to have a go/learn to play, if she looks bored, stop and give her some attention. Note: even when playing this game, look at her when she is talking and you are talking to her, show her she takes priority. Also, I would find asking her if she would like to play a PC game with you when she hasn't shown interest in it is inadvisable, not a 'DO NOT DO', but inadvisable.
*If she likes puzzles, Portal or Prof. Layton or any similar game [even Legend of Zelda has some elements of puzzle, but it wouldn't be my first choice], if she doesn't like puzzles, but enjoys 'deep thinking' per se, try turn based strategy games [Civilization 4 probably the best I can think of {Not 5 in my opinion}] if she likes deep narratives, try some Bioware games [Or any other company with equally as compelling stories, Bioware is the only one I know of ATM, open to any suggestions in PMs] [Mass Effect 1 and DA:O are some fairly recent ones, and IMHO have better stories than their sequals] ect.
Hope I helped.
Edit: In the time it took me to write this, around 10 people posted most, if not all, of my points individually. Also, if she plays a major part in your life, and she's a new girlfriend of 1 day or so, maybe think about how much a 'Major Part' is, and if she should take that up when you don't truly know her.
For laughs, I'm going to go with a number of people on this thread and say the Lego games, my favourite being Lego Starwars 2. Absolutely hilarious, and it got my dad back into gaming (Until we finished it)
Don't try to force games on her, best case she'll just say she's not interested at all, worst case, you give an impression that you won't accept her unless she plays games, she ends up hating you and all games because of it, and you break up in a bad way.
Since you also said she's neutral on the issue, don't worry too much. For you to know this, you'd have to have bought the subject up before. If you continue to play games, and not shaft her whenever you are playing games, you will get to keep a great passtime, and will likely earn her respect. (Steriotypes work in your favour here, remember all the 'If a guy talks to you whilst playing COD he really likes you/is just dead facebook likes? by proving this isn't true, you show yourself as above the rest [hopefully])
If she's not OK with you playing video games, you have two options. Either way though, you must take a firm stance. Don't act all depressed or anything, no sad acts. Just be firm and either:
a) Tell her that you will give up video gaming and actually do (If you decide to keep playing games after telling her you'll stop, your bound for trouble). This will hopefully earn her approval and respect, and show her how much she means to you.
b) Tell her that you will not give up gaming, it is a part of who you are, and if she can't accept that then she's not right for you. Chances are, its true. If she can't accept you gaming, she probably isn't the right girl for you. This is also, by the way, effectively you 'breaking up' with her, rather than the other way round, so hopefully you won't hurt as much if you choose this. Best case, she sees that what you said is true, and decides that maybe she wasn't trusting you enough and you stay together, and you get to keep gaming. Worst case, you have a mature 'break up' that you can both hopefully accept.
I will make a couple of things clear under no circumstances should you:
- Hide the fact that you game from her
- Lie to her
- Try to coerce or force her into gaming
- Not make a decision on which of the above two 'She hates gaming' solutions posted above
- Let gaming dominate your time
-Flood her with games, try maybe one or two a week at first. If she likes them, gradually build up.
If you want to get her into gaming, pick a game that she might enjoy* and play that casually whilst around her (Only when talking or watching TV [Time wasting activities], never when doing anything else). If she looks interested, ask her if she would like to have a go/learn to play, if she looks bored, stop and give her some attention. Note: even when playing this game, look at her when she is talking and you are talking to her, show her she takes priority. Also, I would find asking her if she would like to play a PC game with you when she hasn't shown interest in it is inadvisable, not a 'DO NOT DO', but inadvisable.
*If she likes puzzles, Portal or Prof. Layton or any similar game [even Legend of Zelda has some elements of puzzle, but it wouldn't be my first choice], if she doesn't like puzzles, but enjoys 'deep thinking' per se, try turn based strategy games [Civilization 4 probably the best I can think of {Not 5 in my opinion}] if she likes deep narratives, try some Bioware games [Or any other company with equally as compelling stories, Bioware is the only one I know of ATM, open to any suggestions in PMs] [Mass Effect 1 and DA:O are some fairly recent ones, and IMHO have better stories than their sequals] ect.
Hope I helped.
Edit: In the time it took me to write this, around 10 people posted most, if not all, of my points individually. Also, if she plays a major part in your life, and she's a new girlfriend of 1 day or so, maybe think about how much a 'Major Part' is, and if she should take that up when you don't truly know her.
For laughs, I'm going to go with a number of people on this thread and say the Lego games, my favourite being Lego Starwars 2. Absolutely hilarious, and it got my dad back into gaming (Until we finished it)
First of all, don't make your gaming habits a big reveal. It's not as if you're confessing to anything heinous, wonderful or any other extreme. Casually bring games up in conversation if it's natural to do so but don't try to shoehorn them in or dominate conversations with them. If she doesn't inherently dislike gaming she'll probably eventually become intrigued by your hobbies as she comes to like you, then you can look into picking out some accessable games the two of you can try sharing together.
If, with all this casual gamechat, he hints at really not being at all interested, best drop it, really.
If, with all this casual gamechat, he hints at really not being at all interested, best drop it, really.
My brain....It's full of fuck.Dylan Bonnett said:
So you found a new girlfriend, but you want some help so you can get a girfriend by next week? I'm not even gonna try to understand what you meant by that.
But don't try to force your hobby onto her.