How do I tell this guy he has no future in what he wants?

[Black Reaper]

I don't know about him, but when i had been drawing and improving for a while, my classmates told me my earlier stuff was really bad, but back then, they told me it was good since i put so much effort into it, that felt bad.
I guess it depends on how much he values his stuff, i value the effort i put into mine, but not the final result, so i feel happy when people help me out by pointing out the proportions are wrong or something

One thing you should get him to do either way is practice more, i saw my earlier stuff as good at the time, but as i grew better, i thought it looked like shit, you can't get good without practicing

And, like i said in my previous post, having him see an art teacher can help with the quality of his drawings, i was drawing next to my mom one day, when the traffic was really slow, and she helped me out by pointing out when i got the proportions wrong or some shit, that made correcting mistakes faster, and the drawing ended up a lot better as a result

Edit:If he likes animation, get him to try an animation program, i tried out Flash in my digital art class the other day, and i found it very intuitive(even with a mouse), just getting a stickman to move fluidly feels very satisfying

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

I'd say let him go for it, but remind him of what an uphill struggle the animation and entertainment industries are these days, and tell him to at least have a backup plan.

 

[BoogieManFL]

Your intentions might be good, but then again it could just make him resent you. In my experience most people won't accept the opinions of others if they really want to go for something, they'll try anyway.

Then again, I don't know what animation school is like. Maybe it will refine his skills.


Tough situation to be sure. I don't know the person like you do but if it were me I think I'd just not actively support or speak against it where possible and remain politely neutral and let him make his own choice.

 

[DeaDRabbiT]

Maybe you start by living your own life bruh and not shit on the aspirations of another.

Nobody likes backseat living.

If you are actually able to gather whatever goodness you have in you, why not think long and hard about how to constructively assist him in heading toward what he wants. Talk to him about drawing classes, help him get applied to the school he wants to go to. He's your cousin, not your baby. Let him learn to solve his own issues.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Hoo boy, let's just go through your points one by one shall we?

1) Shouldn't really matter. An obstacle is not a barrier, and as a family member it should be your job to point that out to him.
2) People get better with practice. Very few people have been a virtuoso in a given subject the first time they turned their hand to it.
3) Very few people have prior experience in a field before they start it. A psychologist, for example, first learns about psychology when they take a college course on it.
4) That doesn't really matter either. First off I would imagine most writers' first forays into world building involve a fair amount of cringe-worthy fanfiction. Secondly he wants to be an animator, not a script writer, so the quality of his stories is kinda irrelevant.
5) You don't need to live in Japan to draw anime. Look at The Escapist's own Yahtzee - he lives in Australia and contributes to an American publication. The Internet is a very useful tool.

 

[briankoontz]

I wouldn't tell him that he can't live his dream, but I also wouldn't go overboard with the encouragement. He'll go to a school and either succeed or fail. If he succeeds, good for him. If he fails, hopefully the truth will sink in (for both him and his parents).

An example, slightly similar to your situation, is my co-worker. He's been working in the company longer than me and wants out. He bought into a life coaching program. The general concept is that they sell you books and CDs about life, leadership, financing, whatever, and you try to get other people to join. You then start to make money after you get X amount of people join. The guy has multiple sales meetings a week and goes to seminars states away every few months. He fully believes it's his ticket to a new home and retirement. I see it as a pyramid scheme and a huge waste of time and money (he's been at it for ~4 years and is still trying to turn a profit). I'm not about to tell him that it's a terrible idea and never going to work out for him. I'm also not going to tell him that it's a fantastic idea and definitely going to let him retire early. I sincerely hope that it does work out, but from what I've seen and heard about it, all I can say is "good luck".

Pyramid schemes are inherently corrupt - it's irrelevant morally that it "works out" for the people at the top of the pyramid - of course it does. The people on the bottom are always crushed. The only winning move, morally, is not to play.

 

[Shiftygiant]

The reason I am so hesitant to offer constructive criticism is that I am the first person he has ever opened up to. My other cousins didn't give him the time of day, and they have been ignoring him for the longest time. I feel like if I burst his bubble, or criticize his work in anyway, he'll be crushed.

Encourage practice, lend/gift him art books (Not manga, [italics] art [/italics]) under the pretense that this should help him with general anatomy, perhaps when his work is at a presentable level you introduce him to some art project at a community college or something, maybe deviantART, and you know, if his writing is craptastic, introduce him to the idea of illustrating other peoples writings. Never be afraid of giving criticism, but don't be harsh. Try to intersperse it with things that you feel are good. Reward improvement, but don't punish a step back, just keep encouraging movement forwards. You have the chance to sow the seeds of potential that may blossom into the grand oak of quality, but only if you feel you are ready to help him.

Trust me, I've gone through this kind of thing, but I didn't have any support. I implore that, as the first person he has opened up too, you support him to the best of your ability. But again, only if you feel you are ready and able to.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

The reason I am so hesitant to offer constructive criticism is that I am the first person he has ever opened up to. My other cousins didn't give him the time of day, and they have been ignoring him for the longest time. I feel like if I burst his bubble, or criticize his work in anyway, he'll be crushed.

I know, it sucks to have to be honest and tell people things they don't want to hear, and I think we as a society have gotten worse and worse about it (it's why, for example, people "break up" nowadays by just not responding to phone calls or texts, because they can't handle telling someone they aren't interested). Regardless, it has to be done. It's far better for him to hear criticism from you than be convinced he's this phenomenal artist and then get rejected by 20 companies a row.

 

[HardkorSB]

Where I live you don't enter college right after high school, you are automatically a waiter in McDonalds.

If he's as bad at things as you say he is then maybe that's what he should do, serve people at McDonalds.
Someone needs to do it and it is a job, regardless how shitty you think it is.
If he's "special" then college won't help him.

Also, not everybody who does animation needs to make TV series or movies.
There are people with sub-par animating skills that do dumb animated videos on Youtube and make a lot of money from ad revenue.
He can be one of them.

 

[And Man]

It's kinda hard to say what you should do, since we don't know your situation outside of what you told us, such as how close your extended family is, but I'd say that you should just let it go. This seems like something that his parents should deal with, not you. From what you've said, I'd advise against being overly critical on his work; since you said that you're pretty much the only one he opens up to, and based on what you said about his disorder, it sounds like it could really upset him if you're too harsh on him. And from what you said about the way his parents respond to his disorder, it could cause them to get angry at you. You say you don't want him to "throw his life away", but from the way you described his disorder, it sounds like it's severe enough that it will limit what he'll be able to do with his life, and I would imagine that he'd have a really hard time functioning in any job outside of unskilled labor positions.

I guess I would suggest that you just support him, but don't give him undeserved praise. Offer light criticism, maybe something like "his hands look off, you should redraw and fix them" or something else that wouldn't cause your cousin to become upset. I know that you're worried about him and you just want to help him, but honestly, the issue at hand seems like something that only his parents, or a harsh life lesson, can solve.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

You're not his parent, its not your job to guide him or to tell him he needs to actually develop his skill more.

I'm not saying to encourage him into a doomed endeavor, but you shouldn't be placing responsibility for someone else onto yourself.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Eh. Tough one.

I pretty much haven't been able to succeed at anything much in life. Not even the dumb, basic 'work at mcdonalds' kind of stuff has ever worked out for me.

And excuse me for saying what unfortunately sounds like 'bragging', but I'm a 'genius' on some level apparently.
Although also on the autistic spectrum. (Aspergers. High functioning autism, or whatever you want to call it, it was hard getting a formal diagnosis, even though more than a few people told me they suspected it... Although nobody ever noticed until I was an adult.)

Problem is, even if you do have some talents, if you fall flat in some other areas it can be very difficult to do anything.
I can do all kinds of 'amazing' things which take considerable intelligence and skill and learn them as though they don't amount to much, but ask me to have a simple conversation with someone about something very basic and I'll struggle pretty badly...

I'm stuck with that, and trying to figure out how to work around it. But I'm already old, and the realities of the world have worn me down pretty badly to the point where I've largely given up on, well... Everything.


The truth can hurt, but so can being stopped from ever even trying.
Be careful. Yes, his goals might be unrealistic, but trying to 'protect' him by trying to talk him out of even trying could do more harm than good long-term.

 

[SOCIALCONSTRUCT]

snip

I would start by explaining to him, as gently as possible, that the future that he is imagining for himself is entirely speculative. By this I mean he has no knowledge at all of what it is like to work in that industry much less to even take a college level course. All he knows is that he likes anime and he has a sort of uninformed mental picture of green grass on the other side of the fence. This has the benefit of being a true statement while sidestepping the issue of whatever talent he has. You should remind him of the enormous cost of money and time required by college and so he should learn exactly what he is in for. Your message here isn't "don't do it" but rather "gather more information." Ideally he should take a one or two night courses before going all in on this. And who knows? Maybe there is some sort of niche he can carve out for himself that requires mere diligence rather than talent.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

1) He's "special". This is what we call autistic people where I live. I'm not sure what disorder he has, but it is very evident. He is 17 but behaves like a 10 year old.

Doesnt really matter. Alot of special people managed to do stuff in the end anyway. Also 17y is incredibly young. If you've lived a sheltered live you're basically bound to be chilidish at that point. College will maybe do something for him in that regard.

2) He is not good at drawing. At all. Everyone who's seen it knows it as well, and it was awkward as hell when he showed me his drawings. I couldn't even lie and compliment him.

Drawing is practice, practice, practice. If he really wants to do animation people should encourage him to draw more, try new stuff, give him books about drawing / make him buy them himself etc.

3) He has no prior experience with animating. And he hasn't even applied to the college he wants yet!

That's what he's going to the college for, right? Prior knowledge is cool and makes things easier but aren't a necessity.

4) His brainchild, a universe where literally every "geek" franchise is mashed together, is horrible. It is what it is, bad fanfiction. He's put so much effort into it it's sad.

He's 17 and apparently haven't started his development into an adult, stuff like that changes - drastically so - over time. Also he's not starting an animation company himself nor is he a lead author of any anime, he wants to study animation, where does his brainchild come into play there?
At least he has a vivid imagination and a fully built world - he can work on that too. It will mature as he matures, naturally.

5) We don't live in Japan. There is a pretty big anime/manga following here, but there are no natively produced anime series. I'm not sure about this, but I bet that he won't be taken seriously even if he did move to Japan.

Then he goes to Japan. Nowadays nobody is stopping you doing so. And there won't be a reason not to go and try if he succeeds in his studies. Better try and fail then freeze up because of the fear of failure.


In any case: If you really care for this person encourge him to achieve his goals. You can only score a point, if you actually kick the ball.
It won't be easy and maybe he'll fail, but that's part of the never ending learning process we're all going through - and it definitly won't harm his development as a person, i'd bet quite the contrary,

 

[Elfgore]

You don't. He either needs to learn for himself(the way I did), or his parent's need to do it. For himself would be best, it helps keep the bitterness out of any relationship. I know nothing of him other than what you've told me, but that's just my opinion. I'm a cynic when it comes to dreams, so I'll refrain from saying more.

 

[COMaestro]

As far as your cousin's artwork, I'm guessing you don't read many webcomics. If you look at the first few pages of virtually every long running webcomic in existence and compare it to the more recent pages you would never know they were done by the same person. Penny Arcade and Questionable Content are two obvious examples that I follow. Sure, they are years apart, but there was considerable growth in the art styles of both from year to year.

I don't know your cousin and I don't know his particular brand of autism, nor even the quality of his artwork, but as many have said, we are all capable of growth, and with or without talent, hard work and effort can pay off. Encourage him to work harder, be honest with critique of his artwork without being harsh about it, and try to relate the difficulties of breaking into the animation field to show him that he needs to work hard if he is serious about pursuing this dream.

Encouragement, but trying to remove rose tinted glasses is the key.

 

[Thorn14]

He's going to hit a brick wall, and hard.

Offer him ideas on a possible plan B or C, I suppose.

 

[144_v1legacy]

Nothing anyone says here is good advice.

Ask a doctor about autism, and describe this scenario, and ask for the most helpful response. You shouldn't be crowdscourcing something so delicate.

 

[flarty]

17? Fuck me, let me give you a run down of my life.
1: at the age of 14 started smoking weed and taking drugs
2: failed the majority of my GCSES at the age of 16
3: 16 - 24 worked low skilled jobs
4: 24-28 got married and had a child and divorced (that order)
5: 28-29 retook my GCSEs in english and maths and passed (in 6 weeks as opposed to 33 weeks) also did an access course so i can go to university
6: Now going to university to study environmental science to get my masters before the age of 35 with 35 years to go before my retirement.

Now i have made some mistakes, but it's not to late. Life is all about mistakes and learning from them. 17? this lad has plenty of time to make many mistakes, sure they wont be the same mistakes as mine where i just basically partied to much but he can still learn from them and steer his life in accordance, and since he is still looking to the future unlike i was at his age he will probably gets where he wants/needs to be a lot faster.

On a more depressing note, anyone under the age of 30 is fucked lol

 

[Fox12]

Snip? Snip!

I get where your coming from, but what's the alternative? To Prepare him to be a waiter for the rest of his life? If he can't succeed at something he enjoys, then he won't make it as something he hates. There are some lessons that can only be learned the hard way. If he's doomed to fail then he'll learn soon enough. But don't rob him of the experiance. It may be the wake up call him and his parents need. He'll either rise above or fail, but either way he'll build character.