How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?

[Therumancer]

Can you, even? This might be really simple to do, but I can't find any way to guard against being accused of being either of these things unless you're an ethnic minority or gay.

We've all heard that argument "My best friends are gay...", and we've all laughed at it, I've even tried using it after admitting it was cliche to a person who decided I was homophobic, but they obviously laughed it off, as they'd already made their mind up. Even though it was true, back then and still today, of the people I spend most of my time around that are not related by blood, friends, that is, literally people in my closest (only) friendship group, two of which are gay. That was a few years ago, now.

Needless to say, I was really hurt, and every so often I remember that time and get really angry/upset. But I've always wondered if there's anything better I could have said.

So, any ideas? If it's not painfully obvious that you aren't of that ideology, once you're hit with the homophobia/racism card, can you refute the claim on your own?

God, this thread is dumb.

EDIT: Just making sure you all know, no need to help me with this situation as if it was "current". This happened a while ago, and it annoyed me at the time and still annoys me, today. My only connection to this person is a facebook friendship, and we know how much those mean...

And this isn't a consistent issue for me, either! Tch...I should've made a topic about bunnies or cats or Timesplitters (however, that would receive next to no replies) or our main age-range for our greatest times as gamers.

It's like this, *proving* a negative is impossible, that's why such attacks can be so effective, and why they are used. It's a good way to put someone on the defensive on a sensitive issue when someone doesn't otherwise have an answer that can work. The problem is of course that as a general rule society has yet to catch up with calling someone a racist, homophobe, etc... to be an attack, or form of slander/libel like others. I imagine this will happen with time however.

The best trick is not to care. Chances are if your on an issue where someone throws one of those terms out you've probably won, and hit a nerve in the process. At the end of the day it comes down to self confidence, I mean you know your not a racist, homophobe, or whatever, so really what do you care? You were in an argument with people that you disagreed with, and they more or less demonstrated they probably aren't worth your time.

The thing is though when you swim against the current, so to speak, you have to expect resistance, and very little positive reinforcement, whether it's in real life or on the internet, and really engaging in rotary back patting with people who already agrees with you means nothing. Most people go along with the path of least resistance and do and think (or say they think) what everyone else seems to, as that is the easiest path through life. Be a chameleon, remain neutral or agree with everyone on everything around you. Very few people deviate from that, especially on big issues. Even if it's hard, try and find some contentment in being your own person, even if everyone hates you. Most great thinkers and social revolutionaries were hated, or considered insane, in their own day. My opinions have changed several times over the years on a number of big subjects, but as a general rule I don't let other people tell me what it's okay to think. Just as I generally don't tell them that, even when I think they are wrong.

 

[Robot Number V]

*snip*

OK, you're still not answering my question, so I'm starting to think that just maybe you might be fucking with us. Frankly, I sincerely hope you are.

But, just for the hell of it, I'll ask you one more time:

Why do you think homosexual sex is morally wrong?

 

[MrBaskerville]

I don´t think i´ve ever been accused of being against any of these things, mainly because no one has had a reason to believe that i would be. I´m nice to people, i don´t seem like the kind of person that would be racist and i generally think that people in Denmark are tolerant by default.

If i were to be accused of being homophobic, i would probably just laugh it off and tell the person that i don´t care what people do in their private lives. Who am i to judge anyone?

 

[Verlander]

I'd examine my personal opinions. If you're saying something that people are saying is racist or sexist or whichever, but you don't believe you are, try and see where they're coming from.

You may not think you judge people based on those things, but you may actually be. If you do this and still think that you are being fair, promote your ideas based on their own reasons rather than defend them against unfair criticism. That way the person calling you out will be the one looking foolish.

 

[Vault101]

I'm not sure I understand you. Can you clarify?

people who complain about their veiws not being "PC" and make out like Political Correctness Is some nasty bogey monster out to stifle free speech

I suspect the problem is their veiws are shitty...not political correctness

 

[Branindain]

I let them think that, if that's what they want to think. I know I'm not. If the accuser is a friend, or someone else whose opinion I have reason to value, I would discuss it with them, but if it's a random, who cares what they say? Besides, I'm a very egalitarian guy and if they get offended by me, they're likely just used to playing the oppressed minority card every chance they get. I certainly wouldn't give them the satisfaction of defending myself in that scenario.

 

[pearcinator]

Easy, I hate everyone equally.

Nevermind, I was ninja'd.

 

[McElroy]

I (would) make a racist/homophobic/sexist remark so vile that this hypothetical accuser realizes they're wrong. In other words, Refuge in Audacity.

OK, you're still not answering my question, so I'm starting to think that just maybe you might be fucking with us. Frankly, I sincerely hope you are.

But, just for the hell of it, I'll ask you one more time:

Why do you think homosexual sex is morally wrong?

It doesn't really require much mental gymnastics: it's detrimental to their souls. If one believes this, it would be immoral for them to not be against homosexual acts.

What you can do is move on and hope they give up their archaic views or at the very least won't encourage them in other people. I'm sure Mad World has done his thinking on the matter.

 

[Dango]

If I honestly have to prove that I'm not then I know I'm done wasting my time with whoever's accusing me.

 

[Smolderin]

Errr, I wouldn't even have to say anything because I know that I am not those things, and in the end it doesn't matter what people think of you....that and it helps that I have friends that are black...and gay...in fact one of them is a gay black guy. Though I suppose that argument wouldn't hold any water as anyone could lie about that without having to give proof, this is the internet after all. But yeah, I got nothing to prove in the first place, if people want to think me homophobic or racist, let them, I still keep on living and the world keeps on turning and in the end, nothing of significance has changed.

 

[Zacharious-khan]

Don't worry about it, if its happening out of the blue then ignore it but if in the context of an argument someone is saying you are racist/bromophobic etc... and because of that you are wrong; that is an ad hominem fallacy. And unless you are on the pro side of a racial purity disscussion, your arguments should stand or fall on their own merits.

 

[happyninja42]

I don't defend myself when accused of those things. It's the same thing as when I have been accused of being gay myself.

I've never actually been accused of being homophobic or racist, so I can't directly comment on that, but if someone actually accused me of that, I would probably respond by laughing at them and saying "If you think I'm like that, then you clearly don't know me at all, and I don't really care what your opinion of me is." And then probably just ignore them at that point.

The closest, like I said already, I've had is being accused of being gay. And I admit, the guy who used to tease me about that in highschool, really pissed me off. He was my bully, and he basically picked me at random as far as I could tell, and tormented me for 3 years in school. One guy later in life, tried to accuse me of being gay, but that was short lived, because we were at a table of people, including a young woman that I had recently begun an intimate relationship with. We had in fact, enjoyed each other's company quite enthusiastically the night before. So when he tried to call me a ******, she just laughed, loud and long, and in a deliciously mocking way at the guy. Shut him up real quick xD

 

[Neonsilver]

I think the only way to do it, except for giving a person of the same gender a deep kiss or pulling of the mask that hides that you are actually part of the ethnic minority you are supposed to be racist against, would be to ask why the person thinks you are racist/homophobic. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding from some event where the person missed some context or you are able to convince the accuser that those actions weren't intended to be racist.

 

[AgedGrunt]

If I honestly have to prove that I'm not then I know I'm done wasting my time with whoever's accusing me.

That's the provocative way it's set up: the accuser evades the burden of proof. Doesn't matter how you respond, either, since it will always be damaging.

Ideally, put it right back on the accuser, since no one's word is self-evident.

 

[Rattja]

The problem with things like these is that you can't really give them proof without actually doing it.
Kind of like the discussion I had a while back about how to prove that you're suicidal, words only go so far.

Now.. If I were to end up in a situation like that I would not feel the need to convince anyone one way or the other, but if I had to I'd just ask them to define it or look it up.
As in, if someone claimed that I were homophobic, I'd ask them to look it up as they clearly don't understand the meaning of the word, or what a phobia actually is. Because anyone whith an idea of what it actually is would be able to take one look and understand that it was not true. Or be able to explain why they think I am what they claim me to be.

If they still thought that I were (insert whatever here) I'd just laugh and leave them in their ignorance. There are worse things to be called out to be, and anyone who would call me something like that would not have any noticable impact on my life so why bother?

And then there is this quote that everyone should take to heart.

"Never argue with a stupid person, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"

 

[Giralin]

Time for me to jump in and repeat what others with the same view as myself have.

I am one of those people that say it doesn't matter. This person means nothing to you, therefore their opinions of you also mean nothing. The people who really know you know you don't hate gays. Then there's also the fact that people who are so quick to judge won't listen to what you have to say about this or really know you anyway. Trying to "prove" to somebody that you aren't a homophobe is as pointless as arguing with strangers over the internet

 

[Buckshaft]

I already said, this was a few years ago, and they had only been speaking to me for a few days, and I said one stupid thing about a guy wearing two layers of pink.

Well, as Zordon said, too much pink energy is dangerous.