How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?
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I haven't read all the replies, so maybe this is already covered. If someone accuses you of being homophobic or racist (and let's just throw sexist in there as well), the very best thing you can do in that situation is investigate their reasons for the accusations, that is, have a conversation. You might actually find that they have some valid concerns and both parties could end up learning a little something from the exchange.
I'd argue that it always helps to investigate your thoughts concerning any subject; what are they (obviously), what are the sources that help form your opinion (personal experience, articles, blogs, etc.), and can you really say you're knowledgeable enough about the subject that you've an informed opinion on the matter? Things like this will really affect the way you engage people when discussing pretty much anything.
Ultimately, you shouldn't worry too much about accusations like this unless it stands to have some negative impact on your life (eg. work), but as someone has already said, it's very hard to prove you're not homophobic (especially to someone who has made their mind up). The best thing you can do is leave them to their opinions and let time be the judge.
I'd argue that it always helps to investigate your thoughts concerning any subject; what are they (obviously), what are the sources that help form your opinion (personal experience, articles, blogs, etc.), and can you really say you're knowledgeable enough about the subject that you've an informed opinion on the matter? Things like this will really affect the way you engage people when discussing pretty much anything.
Ultimately, you shouldn't worry too much about accusations like this unless it stands to have some negative impact on your life (eg. work), but as someone has already said, it's very hard to prove you're not homophobic (especially to someone who has made their mind up). The best thing you can do is leave them to their opinions and let time be the judge.
Well I would ask "How do you argue that I am?" in response. If they can provide a good example, I'll either explain or apologize in accordance to how I feel about the given example myself.
Plus, when my best friend, who I've known since ´98 and counting, came out of the closet, I congratulated him on the matter and continued my business as usual. What does it matter if he's gay? He's my best friend.
Plus, when my best friend, who I've known since ´98 and counting, came out of the closet, I congratulated him on the matter and continued my business as usual. What does it matter if he's gay? He's my best friend.
The only defense against people who want to call you homophobic/sexist/cis-gendered white male scum, or whatever, especially over the internet, is to not give a fuck what random idiots on the internet say about you. Don't engage with those people. Their opinion means nothing unless you let it. You can never stop some people from spreading self righteous hate, people like to feel self righteous and holier than thou. You can't get away from it, especially on the internet where they are afforded the protection of anonymity.
Once you've been accused by someone it's pretty much too late to try and convince them otherwise, it's like you're in quicksand, anything you say on the matter will just make it worse.
I just try to shrug it off and turn the discussion off of me and onto the topic at hand, saying that they can think whatever they want about me but my arguments still stand on their own.
I just try to shrug it off and turn the discussion off of me and onto the topic at hand, saying that they can think whatever they want about me but my arguments still stand on their own.
I don't. I believe that the worst thing you can do is try to defend against being called homophobic and racist (specially racist), since those who feel offended by something you say or do will immediately assume that your defense in in their benefit, and that you probably won't do that if the were not there.
In a busy situation like that, this probably wouldn't work, but my favorite response is to throw it back in the guy's face. "That's an odd assumption. Is it because I'm white?"tippy2k2 said:I really don't think you can "prove" it with some argument. You can't prove a negative.
Way back in the day, I worked at a movie theater and it was freaking packed. At concessions, the line is 4 or 5 people deep with 6 or so registers open so....yeah....there's a good fifty people waiting in line counting groups. About ten minutes into it, a co-worker gets my attention and asks me if she could talk to me. I asked if it could wait (again, lots of people) and she said she guessed. About five minutes later, she gets my attention again and says I have to go now. I go over and a black customer is pissed. He starts yelling at me that I'm not paying attention to him and just point-blank says "Are you a racist?".
...seriously dude, there's about fifty fucking people here and you're not in my line trying to get my attention for a refill (or at least that's my assumption because I had never seen this customer yet to my knowledge). What was I going to say? He has convinced himself that I'm not paying attention to him because I must be a racist; there's nothing I could do to convince him otherwise in this situation.
Maybe I was ignoring him but there's so many people in line that I am laser focused on MY customers and mine alone. I thought about it the rest of that day wondering where he came from. DID I ignore him? Was he in my line and somehow I did miss him? It shook me up; you wouldn't think it would but getting called something like that hurts like hell. I still don't know the answer to that today; it was so busy that my co-worker next to me could have been getting robbed and I doubt I'd have noticed
All I feel you can do is state that you are not racist/homophobic/whatever and prove it with your actions. There's really no way I could "convince" you that I'm not.
Well, fair enough. An unfortunate reality. I understand that some people may feel offended/pissed off, but that's that, I suppose.Vault101 said:
I don't need any tips. I'm not going to suppress my views just because others can't handle it.Gundam GP01 said:
To answer your question: I am against it. I don't believe that someone should be with someone of the same sex (marriage, for example). You may not be swayed, but it's enough for me.
Remember: I am not trying to convince anyone to agree with my views; I am just conveying why I think what I do.
No - I answered it previously. It's because of my faith (Christianity).Robot Number V said:
The way I see it there are three type of people who use this type of argument.
1. People who call someone out on homophobia,racism etc, that are REALLY calling it out a homophob,racist etc . These people are not bad because they are calling something out that is true.
2. People who call it out because they don't know what a true homophob/racist etc, really is. These people can be those individuals that are overly sensitive or just plain naive to call it out properly.
3. People who use calling someone a racist etc as a means to win a argument or to make their point of view more superior than yours. These are not worth even debating with if they are going to hide being the racist argument.
Personalty if someone is going to call me a bigot when I know for sure that im not, I just not going to associate with them.
1. People who call someone out on homophobia,racism etc, that are REALLY calling it out a homophob,racist etc . These people are not bad because they are calling something out that is true.
2. People who call it out because they don't know what a true homophob/racist etc, really is. These people can be those individuals that are overly sensitive or just plain naive to call it out properly.
3. People who use calling someone a racist etc as a means to win a argument or to make their point of view more superior than yours. These are not worth even debating with if they are going to hide being the racist argument.
Personalty if someone is going to call me a bigot when I know for sure that im not, I just not going to associate with them.
Right, no, I figured that. That's not what I'm asking. Let me try rephrasing the question.Mad World said:
What is about homosexual sex that makes it morally wrong?
[i/]for the bible tells me so....[/i]Gundam GP01 said:
some people would rather be good christains than good people....not much you can do so long as their keeping it to themselves, I woulnd't worry about it to much...its a whole other debate
If I've ever been hit with this crap, they did it while I wasn't there. My wife, however, once worked at a place, and one of her coworkers, a newbie who she had helped out, started asking why she wasn't friendlier to him, asking "Does she hate gays?" The irony of this cannot be overstated, since she (nor I) was under the belief he was gay, he'd asked this to their boss, who was bi, and said boss was a friend of my wife's brother who (yeah, you guessed it) had come out a while back. Needless to say, when the boss heard him, she laughed in his face.
In retrospect, I wonder if he did that to try and make her look bad to the boss. And I wonder if that's why those people try to pull the race/gender/religion card. The people I know who are different might not hide that they are different, but they don't use it as a defense. They prove they are just as good, despite the naysayers. That's what makes people like Ghandi and Mandela so awesome.
In retrospect, I wonder if he did that to try and make her look bad to the boss. And I wonder if that's why those people try to pull the race/gender/religion card. The people I know who are different might not hide that they are different, but they don't use it as a defense. They prove they are just as good, despite the naysayers. That's what makes people like Ghandi and Mandela so awesome.
As others have said, you can't disprove a negative. I was once accused of being racist and I know the rush of anger and fearful self questioning that rushes to you in that moment can be hard to deal with. But ultimately this is the kind of thing where you just have to let your actions speak for themselves. Some bigots have found out how to use accusations of bigotry to their advantage. If you question yourself deeply and find that no, you're not bigoted then it's something you just have to take in stride.
You can't. Only your actions can show what you are. In terms of what you can say to them, just say you're not and when they imply you are just say "I know I'm not, if you can't accept that, that's you're loss."
People imply other people are racist as if they don't know. And then they imply they're lying when they say they're not, as if you want to be racist/sexist/homophobic but not get caught.
Best you can do is ask what made them think that and apologise if you said something they thought was prejudiced. Often that's what gets people riled up and ready to accuse others of being prejudiced, when half the time, it was a joke or unrepresentative generalisation made in the heat of the moment. I'll often make sweeping generalisations about businessmen/women when they do something that annoy me on the bus. Doesn't mean I'm 'careerist' or whatever.
People will assume all sorts of crap about you that's just not true, best you can do is try exactly once to change their mind and, failing that, go on with your life as normal.
People imply other people are racist as if they don't know. And then they imply they're lying when they say they're not, as if you want to be racist/sexist/homophobic but not get caught.
Best you can do is ask what made them think that and apologise if you said something they thought was prejudiced. Often that's what gets people riled up and ready to accuse others of being prejudiced, when half the time, it was a joke or unrepresentative generalisation made in the heat of the moment. I'll often make sweeping generalisations about businessmen/women when they do something that annoy me on the bus. Doesn't mean I'm 'careerist' or whatever.
People will assume all sorts of crap about you that's just not true, best you can do is try exactly once to change their mind and, failing that, go on with your life as normal.
The main argument I can see is that it's done for pleasure rather than procreation (because every heterosexual person has sex solely for the purpose of procreation, right?), but what they don't realise is that homosexual love is the same as heterosexual love, and sex is done for the same reason in both situations. Because they don't feel love towards people of the same sex, they believe there can never be love there, so the love which sanctifies their marriage can't sanctify marriage between two people of the same sex. This is simply people who can't understand something outside themselves, finding a book which agrees with their logic and using that as a defence.Robot Number V said:
