How do you be a jerk?

[Mr Balls]

I've been thinking about this and I havent come up with an answer. How do you be a total jerky douchebag? I'm actually cripplingly nice and gentle and sensitive. I've never been able to pull off being a jerk. And no, I don't want to be a jerk. I want a question answered. So if anyone knows please share it with us

 

[delet]

I'm too sarcastic or just a blatant asshole every now and again, though I'm usually a good person. I just accept my asshole-ness and run with it as a joke so people either tend to like me or hate me.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Some people are just born like it.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I'm too sarcastic or just a blatant asshole every now and again, though I'm usually a good person. I just accept my asshole-ness and run with it as a joke so people either tend to like me or hate me.

Aww, I <3 you, Aby dear.

OT: I have no idea. It just happens every once in awhile when I'm really pissed off at someone.

 

[Manhattan2112]

You walk around town shouting "I AM THE KING OF EVERYTHING!" whenever people ask you for the time. Then insist that they are the magikarp of this world, and slap them with a leather glove. When they complain, punch them in the nose and steal one of their kidneys. Then kill a cyclist for some reason. BE A BADASS. LIVE THE DREAM.

 

[Disaster Button]

I got tired of always being the nice guy who was to shy and meak to say anything or stand up for himself and one day I just snapped and unloaded all my sarcasm and bitterness and I'm pretty much that now. I'm not incapable of being nice or that I don't want to be, I still am nice now and then, but now I'm just a sarcastic dick.

 

[Mr.Kitetsu]

Some people are just born like it.

yup you can't just become an asshole your born with it
it is a gift

 

[rsvp42]

Insult people without caring what they say. Be arrogant and talk about yourself mostly. Find out what people are insecure about and call them out on it. Don't pay attention to others and make sure that you look out for #1 (you). If you do it right, you can be a jerk that everybody loves (or loves to hate). Do it wrong and you'll just have no friends.

This is of course only from observation >.>

 

[Revolutionary]

to be a jerk simply disregard manners.

 

[AllLagNoFrag]

http://www.mrbauld.com/jerk.html There, question answered. Or in other words, GOOGLE IT

kthxbai

[/thread]

 

[ottenni]

Get a baby and drop-kick it over a fence. Bam, instant asshole. Trust me never fails.

 

[TehJammers]

-Swear often and for no reason
-Blatantly hit on women with no regard for their reaction
-Dress like you're from jersey shore

 

[Shockolate]

Relentlessly mock any and everything.

 

[AllLagNoFrag]

Get a baby and drop-kick it over a fence. Bam, instant asshole. Trust me never fails.

lol, personal experience? nice

 

[ottenni]

Get a baby and drop-kick it over a fence. Bam, instant asshole. Trust me never fails.

lol, personal experience? nice

Hell yeah. Baby Kicking. Great way to pass the time.

 

[Explosm]

Personal attacks.

"Hey, why are you wearing crocs, they are ugly"
"You're ugly."

Gets em every time...

 

[mad825]

well how come people make ridiculous threads like this, any and all opinions that may be presented on this page might be highly bias as this is the sort of question that only peer group can judge on and if you don't mid I have much more interesting and more important threads to spam than this.

you see what I did there?

 

[Omikron009]

Just act like I do. I'm very sarcastic, I make fun of people constantly, I frequently act evasive and confusing when people are trying to talk to me for my own amusement, I don't suffer fools, and I call people out on their flaws. Those are just a few examples. I'm a HUGE jerk.

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

I'm not good at being a jerk. My conscious won't let me be one.

 

[goldenjester]

Being an asshole is easy:

1a) Ride a bike on a shoulder-less highway where the speed limit is 55 mph
1b) Swerve around us cyclists and not the share the road with us
2a) Yell at clerks, go to a checkout without a light on, get angry about corporate policy, etc
2b) Be passive aggressive while we shop at your store
3a) Kill babies/the elderly
3b) Leave babies/the elderly alive despite the drain they have on society
4a) Set buildings on fire
4b) Deny serial arsonists an outlet
5a) Post on the internet
5b) Never go on the internet
6a) Chain yourself to a tree
6b) Chop down trees
7a) Freak out about someone eating a steak in front of you if you're vegan/vegetarian at a restaurant
7b) Being an insensitive meat-eater
8a) Join the WBC
8b) Be gay/a soldier
9a) Rant about Glenn Beck's stupidity
9b) Rant about Glenn Beck's brilliance

Being an asshole is easy!