How important is sex to you?

[Candidus]

I feel the sexual compulsion quite a lot, so I imagine that my sex drive is quite strong. That being said, when I'm feeling the sexual compulsion, I think of and imagine non-sexual violence and various edgeplay things still in the context of non-consensualism and violence, so I would have to say that sex itself is not important to me at all.

In the past, I've had sex as a matter of meeting expectations inside a relationship. It's been difficult, because while my equipment works fine during activities that have nothing to do with genital petting or intercourse, trying to transition from something I find sexually exciting into petting, oral or actual sex means a constant mind war to keep myself... you know.

More recently, I've been honest about what I want and the fact that a sexless relationship with a violent woman would be best for me.

No surprise that I've been single since I decided to stop lying.

 

[tehfeen83]

Sex is steadily becoming less important to me the older I get. I suppose once you've done it 500 times with the same person, the novelty starts to fade. Still do it at least once a week though.

 

[GoaThief]

the common feature is that it is like having sex in slow motion over a protracted period of time.

But it's not the same feeling at all, just as different drugs produce different feelings.

Personally I think sex is great and should be shared, people who scorn others for enjoying it concern me.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Not at all. I consider it to be really messy, unreliable as a sleep-aid and, dangerous when does with other people. I can't deny that it feels good though and spent a lot of time thinking about it as I grew up. Once I started having it though my opinion of it began to fall. I realized I didn't like it either when...

Spoiler: oh I should probably put up a TMI warning here because I'm about to type far more than is necessary again

I found out that ladies get tongue rings to enhance the feelings of oral sex. A sensation I absolutely hated and wanted nothing to do with ever again. Or when I tried to 69 for the first time which must have seemed like a good idea at the time (it sure as hell seems like a good idea on paper)

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

I don't really obsess over it. I mean I think about it, I'm a teenage boy what do you expect. Unfortunately I live in a generation that if you don't get it often your a weirdo and outcast, which annoys me.

 

[Doclector]

Quite frankly, I'm desperate for it. Not so much for the act itself, but just for the sake of my self esteem. I struggle to think of more than one person I know who hasn't had sex, and that person's an a**hole, anyway.

People say there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but I'm 21, dammit. I've been socially active for the better part of a year now, and everyone I know seems to get laid so damn easily. I'm fairly popular around here, I'm not exactly prince charming, but I'm nice enough, and most people say I'm funny. If there wasn't something wrong with me, it would have happened by now. Of course, I know what that wrong thing is. I'm utterly horrific to look at.

 

[Autofaux]

Sex is the bomb diggity. I quite like it, and it is important for the sake of my sanity.

 

[The Night Angel]

I don't care one way or the other, it's being with the person I care about that matters, not what we do. In fact, with my current girlfriend and the one before her, I refused to have sex early in the relationship, as I wanted to do things right.

 

[Demgar]

"Will this get me laid?" features very high on my decision making tree. I'm probably sex obsessed, but damnit girls are so soft and nice.

And not an obsession born out of not getting any as seems to be the case for a few in the thread. I'm a womanizer womanizer womanizer..

 

[Sam Eskenazi]

I very much want to have sex. I'm in a longterm relationship (I live with her, as well) and yet we're both still virgins. We both want it, but we've gotten into a cycle of no sex, and the first few times we trried we fucked everything up so badly... One of us just needs to goddamn push it.

 

[Kuriko]

Sex is nice, I'll admit, but it's not something that I'm constantly wanting or needing. It's not a big thing to me. |:

It's just.. Something you do. I don't whine at my boyfriend all the time for it, either, lol.

 

[Screamarie]

Well seeing as the only sex I've had is fade to black implied sex with Garrus and Thane.....not much. Yeah, virgin. Don't really give a shit. If I ever met the right guy, sure, whatever, but if I don't I'll die a virgin and be content.

Believe it or not it is possible to survive without sex...though I know many people disagree with me.

I think it comes down to two main things.

1. A general 'don't knock it till you try it' attitude for a bunch of common things, mixed with 'you don't know what you're missing'.
Which you can probably follow at your own speed anyway, so not like there's even any reason to change the way you're doing things D:.

I've had this same thing with wanting people to try drinking (in moderation) and blow away a lot of their assumptions and see them hopefully have a good time and learn about themselves, and drinking probably has more capacity for disaster I guess, not that either should be taken lightly.

2. People seem to get off on introducing people to things (either indirectly or actually going out of their way to pursue you) and seeing you change/hearing about it and being able to say "I told you so". There may also be an element of "challenge accepted" nonsense to it somewhere.

Also I managed to stalk you across threads..which means I should really stop reading too many threads about sexuality :/.

Anyway..Less creepy and on topic..I feel like the absence of sexual attraction is more important to me than enjoying sex is. It's not really important as long as I feel like it's not missing entirely. Yeah it's fun but I'm not gonna try and force the issue when there's a bunch of stuff that's more important.

Captcha was "piggyback"..weirdly appropriate.

Oh I'm not knocking it. If I found a person that I trusted enough, I would most certainly do so, I just haven't found anyone I felt was worth it. I'm not necessarily waiting for "the one" or something "special" or something like that, just that when I have sex it means something other than a random fuck (though I don't believe there's something inherently wrong with casual sex, it's just not what I want)

Also, OOOOOO, I have a stalker! What fun! XD

 

[Crenelate]

Sex was awful with my first boyfriend, but brilliant with my current one (which whom I am deeply in love and wish to spend the rest of my life). I think sex in the relationship is more important to him though, mostly because he's a guy but also because I find sex quite scary. With the person I trust it's fine, but god forbid we ever break up because I have no idea how I'll be able to be intimate with another person.

I don't understand how people can have sex with someone they're not in a relationship with, or know and trust really well. I'm not saying they shouldn't, but I personally can't imagine doing it. My deep-rooted distrust of men doesn't help.

 

[Cavan]

Also, OOOOOO, I have a stalker! What fun! XD

D:

That's..an interesting reaction to the idea of stalking, not that that's what I was doing >_>

 

[Neonit]

im tired of it. no, not because "im so cool i have it even right now." - on the contrary.
im tired of it because its everywhere. i cant get out of my house, and NOT be bombarded with billboards featuring naked women. i cant read a magazine without seeing at least 2 "half-nude" photos. i cant go on internet for more than 5 min before seeing naked photos. i cant play a game without seeing "chain-mail bikinis" etc.

IT IS EVERYWHERE.

i know its not healthy, but im just so friggin tired of seeing naked bodies, it doesnt excite me like it did when i was a kid.

you know what is the worst thing? im 19 year old male.

it is that bad.

 

[Caffiene]

Pretty important...

The chemicals involved are very pleasant, and stress relieving. And as I start to grow past the hormonal teen phase (mid twenties now) Im starting to appreciate the attention and intimacy part quite a lot as well. I also find it helps my mental state to be able to make other people feel good, too.

I dont go out seeking it at random, but I dont save it only for "that special someone" either. When its not available, I miss it.

I'm not necessarily waiting for "the one" or something "special" or something like that, just that when I have sex it means something other than a random fuck (though I don't believe there's something inherently wrong with casual sex, it's just not what I want)

Sounds like a healthy attitude to me.

 

[Xannidel]

As a male I tend to think about it constantly (darn you larger hypothalamus!) and I understand WHY we need sex, but I personally do not like sex that much. Maybe I am just one of those who would rather have a relationship and every so often have sex.

 

[Griffolion]

I used to consider sex quite important, but the bad sort of important where I was doing an American Pie style attempt to get with every girl at every opportunity. After a bit of growing up I realised that doing that sort of thing is incredibly unfulfilling and that I would ultimately prefer to be doing it with a girl I love. And yes, you can look at love as just this chemical thing in our brains regarding Oxytocin; but every other sensation and perception aside to love is the same concept, and all those experiences are real to each of us, so love is too (at least for me anyway).

So anyway, I've been on a dry spell now for about 18 months now, and I can't say it's negatively affected me at all, I'm still the same person. In fact, I'm a lot more chilled with the weight of "getting laid" off my mind; not only that but I realised that my previous mindset had stopped me from truly respecting women passed their physicality, and so have moved to correct this. And nowadays whenever I see someone who was like me a few years back, I can do naught but smile at how it reminds me of much less mature days in my own life.

I very much want to have sex. I'm in a longterm relationship (I live with her, as well) and yet we're both still virgins. We both want it, but we've gotten into a cycle of no sex, and the first few times we trried we fucked everything up so badly... One of us just needs to goddamn push it.

Forcing the issue only creates regret and a bad taste in your mouth (speaking from experience). Let it come naturally, and try to be cool if it doesn't come at all for a while.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Sex is very important to me, but not in the way you'd think. When I turned 18 my dad asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club. I said no and explained it just feels wrong to have someone be intimate with you when they are a total stranger and don't love you.

I suppose I've very girly when it comes to sex. Sure it can be rough and kinky, but it needs to be with someone whom I trust, love, and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. Anything short of that is unacceptable, period.

I tried to go beyond this and just have sex for sex. I once had a complete stranger naked on my bed and we were ready to go, but I panicked and said I can't do it.

I'm not sure why I am this way, I would really like to know because apparently its very strange for a male to be like this.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

To quote something I read a while back; "Sex is 10% of a good relationship, and 90% of a bad one." That basically sums up my feelings on sex when I'm in a relationship.

When I'm single, my attitude to sex varies. Sometimes, I see it as being really important; others, I really can't be bothered with it.