Dude, even if I have to buy the damn plane ticket for you, I have to ensure that you get with this girl at some point. Cue cheesy line about how love conquers all if you will, but if it's serious then it is worth it.Cowabungaa said:
How long ago was your last date?
- Thread starter SimuLord
- Start date
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Technically, my last date was last Friday, but it was a mostly platonic outing (she accompanied me to an event), but more truthfully, my last date was in mid-June this year... the relationship just kind of trailed off into nothingness until she announced that it was over a few weeks ago.
As for any reasons why I wouldn't be dating, the main reasons are the people I ask out. I'm perpetually being told that I'm a great friend, or that their flattered, or all sorts of such things (a favorite seems to be 'I'm busy for the next few months'), leaving me more or less unable to get anything off the ground.
On a tangential side note, it kind of annoys me how indirect a lot of women seem to be. At the risk of sounding sexist and stereotyping, a lot of women seem focused more on the outcome than on how they get there (i.e. 'I don't want to date him, so I'll say that I'm busy') and it can make it ABSURDLY hard to figure out where someone's coming from (i.e. when they say 'I'd love to, but I'm busy', to paraphrase an excuse that came a few days before she broke it off). To any girls or women (and hell, even boys or men) reading this, please, PLEASE be more direct. Directness and honesty are a lot easier to work from than stretching the truth to get the same results.
Sorry about the digression. Anyways, carry on.
As for any reasons why I wouldn't be dating, the main reasons are the people I ask out. I'm perpetually being told that I'm a great friend, or that their flattered, or all sorts of such things (a favorite seems to be 'I'm busy for the next few months'), leaving me more or less unable to get anything off the ground.
On a tangential side note, it kind of annoys me how indirect a lot of women seem to be. At the risk of sounding sexist and stereotyping, a lot of women seem focused more on the outcome than on how they get there (i.e. 'I don't want to date him, so I'll say that I'm busy') and it can make it ABSURDLY hard to figure out where someone's coming from (i.e. when they say 'I'd love to, but I'm busy', to paraphrase an excuse that came a few days before she broke it off). To any girls or women (and hell, even boys or men) reading this, please, PLEASE be more direct. Directness and honesty are a lot easier to work from than stretching the truth to get the same results.
Sorry about the digression. Anyways, carry on.
Preaching for the choir bro. I've even skipped a new college course I had recommended to me to make time for seeing her. I really don't care about anything else than her right now, I'd drop everything I'm doing at the moment if she'd call for me. I've never believed in something, but now I do: I firmly believe that she's the one I want to share my life with and that no-one else will be as suitable as she is. And honestly, believing that is kinda scary. Feels like I'm putting her under pressure, even though I try to keep it under wraps a bit. She knows what I feel, but I try to not make a big issue out of it, even though it is inside my heart.Cheesus333 said:
Thing is, I don't want to go over there without her consent, and she's very scared that things might somehow end up completely screwed up. And honestly the only thing I too expect is that things will end up screwed up, doesn't mean I don't want to try. I might expect it, but I have faith that it's very much possible. She keeps telling me that she can't make promises and whatnot, but I don't ask that of her and I never will. It's very complicated and it hurts like a *****, but I still believe that she's worth all of it.
And you know what the silliest thing is? I haven't even seen her yet, apart from some pictures. Yeah sure I showed her my face on a webcam, I let her hear my voice through PSN and that same webcam, but she has yet return the favour. Privacy issues, apparently. It keeps making me wonder if she really does believe that we could be together. She said so, but her actions speak otherwise.
I know what I believe, but I don't know what to think about the whole situation any more. A short while ago I send her a message about my worries, doubts and pains, this whole situation hurts a lot. I hope to talk to her soon about it, maybe that will change things. I'll just keep trying.
And now I feel awful for talking about these things on a public forum, but dammit I have to let it out sometimes.
Let it out, let it out! The anonymous councillors can sometimes be the best - and they're certainly the ones you can rely on to be impartial. And I agree that you should keep trying, it sounds like you could have something really special there if you can make it happen.Cowabungaa said:
Around about this time last year actually ^^SimuLord said:
Was with my now ex in norway. Was a nice evening in a quiet restaurant with the Fjord in full view and snowy mountains behind that.
Enjoyable.
Been single since Jan of this year when it crumbled and a mixture of heartache, a fear of rejection, low confidence and a habit of over thinking have stonewalled any new attempts.
More afraid of the girl saying yes than no because the potential for things to go wrong start at that moment and therefore run the risk of screwing everything up and losing her.
The overthinking manifests itself in the form of slowly sabotaging my own confidence before finally driving the thought of "she hates me" into my own mindset.
Fun times ^_^
But I still have you Xbox 360!
Yes I do, awww I love you too.
About 2 months ago. 1 month anniversary....then 10 days before two months, my ass got dumped! Woohoo!!
2 or 3 weeks ago, but it wasn't a date per se, just a casual walk around town and me trying to figure out what would make her 
My last date was last night. We had dinner and then saw The Aggrolites play live at our school! It was amazing ^_^
My last REAL date was in...July? Yeah, it was a few weeks before school started, when I was starting to think about breaking up with my girlfriend. In the beginning of August, we broke up, I hate to say it, but I was pretty relieved.
Unofficially, though, I did have another date. On Thursday, July 29th, 2010, I was sitting on a rock at 9:00 PM with an amazing girl at Hume Lake Christian Camps. We were just sitting and talking, listening to music, and we eventually walked over to the deck to watch performers at Open Mic Night. That was the night that I feel like we fell in love, and it's still strong today. Too bad I won't be able to see her until next July.
And yes, I am aware that this happened when I was still with my girlfriend. I feel like shit about what I did, but I just stopped liking my girlfriend before I even got to camp. And I could only spend a week with this girl, I couldn't help it. Ashley is perfect for me, Alexandra was not.
Unofficially, though, I did have another date. On Thursday, July 29th, 2010, I was sitting on a rock at 9:00 PM with an amazing girl at Hume Lake Christian Camps. We were just sitting and talking, listening to music, and we eventually walked over to the deck to watch performers at Open Mic Night. That was the night that I feel like we fell in love, and it's still strong today. Too bad I won't be able to see her until next July.
And yes, I am aware that this happened when I was still with my girlfriend. I feel like shit about what I did, but I just stopped liking my girlfriend before I even got to camp. And I could only spend a week with this girl, I couldn't help it. Ashley is perfect for me, Alexandra was not.
Well, Sunday was my last "real" date. My now ex and I went to a steak house and the evening had a "super" ending. Since Sunday, however, we realized we shouldn't have tried to become romantic again and I'm once again, I'm in her friend zone.
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and please, tell me what I should do)
Tomorrow I have a date with a girl from my work. She's cute and we flirt a lot, but of course, there is a problem. She has a boyfriend (who is in South Carolina and we're in Wisconsin), but they are on a rough patch and on the one hand, she wants to break up with him.
SO! QUESTION!
Should I drop some serious game?
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and please, tell me what I should do)
Tomorrow I have a date with a girl from my work. She's cute and we flirt a lot, but of course, there is a problem. She has a boyfriend (who is in South Carolina and we're in Wisconsin), but they are on a rough patch and on the one hand, she wants to break up with him.
SO! QUESTION!
Should I drop some serious game?
I'm too much of a bastard for that sort of thing. It seems women don't like my kind of bastardery.
You're just lucky to have found a girl who doesn't care about how much of a dick you are...SimuLord said:
EDIT: I have a better one, how about:
"It's really hard to find a girl around here who can accept the whole gamer and D&D player thing"
Chance favors the prepared mind. When you're an absolutely shameless flirt it's amazing how quickly you find someone you're compatible with (you've got to meet a slew of uninteresting women first, but nobody ever said it was easy. It's a volume game, not a luck game.)SL33TBL1ND said:
Edit to cover your edit: There's a metric fuckton of nerdy girls on here, a fair few of whom are single and most of whom are, if not around your age, at least within five or six years, nothing too far off the mark. You're looking in the right place...and probably getting warmer.