How many homophobic people are there actually?

[Nimcha]

Here in Northern Netherlands, there are still quite some people who feel offended, or at least a little awkward when I only slightly hint at me being a lesbian. People over here seem to have difficulty adapting to the idea that men can love men in 'that way', and woman too.

Someone from the same region, what a coincidence! I've mostly found people don't really know how to deal with it. A lot of people in the little village I grew up in didn't really seem to know gay people actually existed. Made for some very hilarious conversations. Most seemed to be open-minded enough, though I'm pretty sure a lot of people talked about me behind my back.

 

[darron13]

Yes, about 60% of my country.
My stupid, stupid country.
It's still illegal to be gay here. Not that that stops me but...well you know. Being surrounded by such fools makes you lose faith in humanity little by little...

 

[orangeban]

I live in Scotland, which is hardly the most conservative place in the world, but there is still homophobia. In particular, lots of people I know use "gay" as a derogatory term, and many will go, "Ewwww! Gross!" in reaction to two men having affections for each other.

Bigger than that, gay marriage is still not legal in Britain and various churches are kicking up a massive fuss about gay marriage.

In fact (this isn't homophobia, but it's related), only a few weeks ago I saw a newspaper (The Sun, most popular paper in Britain) use the slur "tranny" in their headline.

So Britain still has a ways to go in terms of acceptance. We're low on "Hang all homos!" type homophobes, but full to the brim of "It's fine as long as they do it a long, long way away from me" type homophobes.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I am apprehensive when it comes to gay people, I just don't know what to do.

Why?

Well to be honest, I have only just within this year seen actual gay people face to face, so you could say I am sheltered. The result being I don't understand how you could be a gay male, I don't understand the lifestyle choice. Interestingly enough I understand lesbians is that sexist? I don't mean to sound offensive and do understand how this makes me out to be a tool but I think I am a *tiny* bit homophobic.

I just don't understand gay people, however this does not mean I hate them. I hate no one!

I understand. Well, an imperfect analogy for how a girl could be a lesbian - you know how you like girls? A lesbian likes girls in a similar way.
Imperfect analogy for how a boy could be gay - you know how girls like boys? A gay guy likes boys in a similar way.

And as for how you should react to a gay guy [okay I'm assuming you're male here][footnote]If not, then swap "gay" for "lesbian" and vice versa in this whole paragraph[/footnote] is simple - treat them like anyone else. If they show an interest in you, then [assuming you're a straight male, which seems to fit with your previous statements] just treat the situation as you would if a girl whom you didn't have any romantic/sexual interest in was interested in you. And how you should react to a lesbian - just like anyone else, but if you're interested in them they're lesbian as opposed to bisexual you should probably let your interest fade and move on to other prospects.

Thanks bro, I'll keep that in mind

 

[Fenris Frost]

They should just shut up about it. Unless they're bloating about how awesome it is to be bisexual and therefore having the maximum number of potential mates, of course.

 

[BlackSaint09]

Noone here really gives a damn whether your Christian,Atheist,Gay,Straight or bloody all out Satanist...( I know because i may have tried it because of the whole fashion thing during my early teens).
In Estonia all that matters is your personality and looks i guess.(and looks not even so much)
Although i havent met many homosexuals,religious people... let alone people from other skin-colors. Kinda white majority here. But still... Noone simply cares what you believe in/whether you prefer sausages to clam or vice versa.

 

[waj9876]

I saw a newspaper use the slur "tranny" in their headline.

Tranny is a slur now? I've called transgendered people tranny before, hell, I've called a transgendered person I was INTERESTED IN DATING a tranny (still interested in dating them to this day), and in both cases they were totally cool with it.

(Oddly I've even been called a tranny before. I'm a little feminine looking, mostly the eyes and hair. Only took offense to the fact that I'm not transgendered.)

 

[orangeban]

I saw a newspaper use the slur "tranny" in their headline.

Tranny is a slur now? I've called transgendered people tranny before, hell, I've called a transgendered person I was INTERESTED IN DATING a tranny (still interested in dating them to this day), and in both cases they were totally cool with it.

(Oddly I've even been called a tranny before. I'm a little feminine looking, mostly the eyes and hair. Only took offense to the fact that I'm not transgendered.)

Yeah, tranny's a slur, and I can explain why.

Here's an experiment for you to try, though I'll warn that it's NSFW. Go on google images, turn off safe-search and google "trannys". You'll get porn. Lots of porn. Go into regular google and google "tranny". There's a wikipedia article, and then porn.

"Tranny" is directly connected with the sexual objectification and fetishisation of trans women. This means the word has serious negative, objectifying, dehumanising and humiliating connotations in today's society.

The word is also used by hate groups as a degrogatory term. If you look on hate websites, unless they're pretending to be civilised and going with full terms, they'll refer to trans people (mainly trans women) as "trannies". Hate groups recognise it as derogatory.

I can't comment on the opinion of the two trans people you talked to, but if you go into a trans space and ask their opinion on "tranny", most will agree it's a slur. Some might say it's okay to say, but they are probably trying to reclaim the word, rather than denying its current status as a slur.

And ultimately it's that last point that is most important, since it's trans people who get to decide what is offensive to trans people, cis people don't get that decision.

Also: The Sun article I mention was clearly using "tranny" as a way of emphasising the weirdness of the story (and it was a weird story, something about a bank robber who defrauded a bank by pretending to be an old woman). This others trans people, since it reinforces the idea that cis people should look at them as freaks and curiosities, or laugh at them for being different.

 

[waj9876]

-Way too long for a quote-

Alright, I can see your point. While I kinda disagree with the google angle (search for anything and it will probably lead to porn) I can see your point. I'll try and not use the word anymore. It's usually just a slip of the tongue from hearing it so much in media and the like. I usually say transsexual and transgendered anyway.

Heh, you never know, maybe the person I'm interested in dating WAS offended by my use of the word, and this'll help in the matter.

 

[orangeban]

-Way too long for a quote-

Alright, I can see your point. While I kinda disagree with the google angle (search for anything and it will probably lead to porn) I can see your point. I'll try and not use the word anymore. It's usually just a slip of the tongue from hearing it so much in media and the like. I usually say transsexual and transgendered anyway.

Heh, you never know, maybe the person I'm interested in dating WAS offended by my use of the word, and this'll help in the matter.

Cool, glad I could educate.

But with the Google thing, sure, most things lead to porn. But most things do not result in having porn almost exclusively for at least 12 pages (I gave up at that point).

Still, nice we came to an agreement, hope you have better luck with the dating!

 

[Nimcha]

Here in Northern Netherlands, there are still quite some people who feel offended, or at least a little awkward when I only slightly hint at me being a lesbian. People over here seem to have difficulty adapting to the idea that men can love men in 'that way', and woman too.

Someone from the same region, what a coincidence! I've mostly found people don't really know how to deal with it. A lot of people in the little village I grew up in didn't really seem to know gay people actually existed. Made for some very hilarious conversations. Most seemed to be open-minded enough, though I'm pretty sure a lot of people talked about me behind my back.

Sounds like how most 'small town folk' react around here indeed. Fryslân, or Groningen? X3

The right one, of course.

I mean right on the map, not right as in 'good'. Or do I? Hmmm.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

I didn't know there were many homophobic people at all. On the Internet, everyone's really laid back about sexuality, and generally don't give a fuck (and that's how it should be).

I didn't know there were any homophobes until my parents tried to tell me the unholiness about gays. Haha, fuck that mom and pops.

 

[Suicidejim]

I can't say I've ever met one in real life, although I don't think I have frequent conversations on sexuality with random strangers so I could well have met many of them and never known.

Most of what I hear comes through the internet, and that tends to give a distorted perception of the world.

 

[Shadie777]

Nah, I don't think that most people hold such a hateful view in the UK, but there does seem to be a lack of acceptance. Some people tolerate, but tolerance implies that you will endure what you don't like. With acceptance, no one will give a shit. As a society, I do believe we are making progress but we have a long way to go.

 

[Cazza]

There are homophobic people who wouldn't say they are. Im talking about I have a gay friend bs but they wouldn't want a gay child etc. Sad really.