How many sexual partners is too many?
- Thread starter Dirty Apple
- Start date
Relationships become a hell of a lot more complicated once you know about your lover's dating map, so I usually do not ask and I really don't care how many he's had.
Sleeping with a lot of people doesn't make you a slut, it makes you someone who likes sex.
2, 20, 50, it really doesn't change anything.
Sleeping with a lot of people doesn't make you a slut, it makes you someone who likes sex.
2, 20, 50, it really doesn't change anything.
I'm honestly not sure. I used to think the fewer the better, but now that I've been with someone who's had one other partner it can be a pain. It's amazing how much stuff you take for granted in with an experienced partner. My last girl had been with 10 including myself and we did whatever. So I'm inclined to say around 3-10.
Even though it's not really a "problem" I put my reply in the Relationship Problem thread, for reasons which I explained in that thread, here's the link: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=29#5512387
There's no set number, but my views are as follows:
If it was a partner where you say "We ended up sleeping together." I think that's a little too casual. "Fuck-buddy?" Too casual. You may have only had five partners your whole life, but if you describe them all this way, then it's five too many.
However, if you went on a few dates, got to know each other, believed it was possible that it would be a relationship, then got freaky. Well, that's fine. You could do that two or three times a year for 10 years before finding the perfect person. That could leave you with 20 or 30 partners that were all people you spent time with and cared about. That person is in a better position than the guy who says "I got drunk and slept with some chick at a party."
All my opinion, of course.
If it was a partner where you say "We ended up sleeping together." I think that's a little too casual. "Fuck-buddy?" Too casual. You may have only had five partners your whole life, but if you describe them all this way, then it's five too many.
However, if you went on a few dates, got to know each other, believed it was possible that it would be a relationship, then got freaky. Well, that's fine. You could do that two or three times a year for 10 years before finding the perfect person. That could leave you with 20 or 30 partners that were all people you spent time with and cared about. That person is in a better position than the guy who says "I got drunk and slept with some chick at a party."
All my opinion, of course.
I don't think a person's number of sexual partner's determines there experience.
You can have sex 500 times and still be terrible at it.
I don't think there is any number that is too many.
Hopefully though one day you find someone and that is worth being the last person you'll ever sleep with.
You can have sex 500 times and still be terrible at it.
I don't think there is any number that is too many.
Hopefully though one day you find someone and that is worth being the last person you'll ever sleep with.
I think it's important to know why they were single when I came along. Not to the level of badgering them about it, but definitely showing an interest.
It's like asking for a CARFAX. You could just close your eyes and hope that the car you're about to purchase has never been recovered from the bottom of a lake, but its generally better to know for sure.
Besides, if your relationship was tenuous enough for simple exposition to destroy it, it wasn't going to last anyway.
It's like asking for a CARFAX. You could just close your eyes and hope that the car you're about to purchase has never been recovered from the bottom of a lake, but its generally better to know for sure.
Besides, if your relationship was tenuous enough for simple exposition to destroy it, it wasn't going to last anyway.
Fixed for society.Doodlebox said:
If you're single and using proper protection, there's no such thing as "too many" so long as you are straight forward with your intentions. If you're in a relationship, two is one too many.
This applies to both genders.
This applies to both genders.
Open relationships are a strange thing, especially when they're fairly loving. Er, so to speak.
I'm not in one now, but when I was before, I would regularly send my girlfriend to sleep with her ex. I'd slept with him, I knew him to be a loving individual, and their relationship ended very casually and well. My own breakup with that woman was not because she was cheating, but because she lied about a great many things.
I find it interesting that I do not seem to be a jealous person. I remained a good friend of the "other man" for quite a while after the Big Reveal, and our distance now is literally that of proximity. Every time we see each other, there's a hug and a catching up to do.
How many is too many? I can't say. In general, I seem to prefer women in their mid to late twenties with a fairly healthy history of sexual experience, preferably more than myself. So it is with great irony that I fell in love with and married a woman whose virginity I had the privilege to take.
Our relationship isn't open, and I'm fine with that. I am, myself, rather monogamous thus far in my life. (I'm nearing 30, so there's still time for me to be wrong, but I do have some context.) I am her first sexual contact, whereas she is probably my fifth or sixth. I'd have to work that one out, I always forget. There was a very busy month there. And that's not counting second base with another partner long ago.
I sure hope that's not too many. We seem happy.
I'm not in one now, but when I was before, I would regularly send my girlfriend to sleep with her ex. I'd slept with him, I knew him to be a loving individual, and their relationship ended very casually and well. My own breakup with that woman was not because she was cheating, but because she lied about a great many things.
I find it interesting that I do not seem to be a jealous person. I remained a good friend of the "other man" for quite a while after the Big Reveal, and our distance now is literally that of proximity. Every time we see each other, there's a hug and a catching up to do.
How many is too many? I can't say. In general, I seem to prefer women in their mid to late twenties with a fairly healthy history of sexual experience, preferably more than myself. So it is with great irony that I fell in love with and married a woman whose virginity I had the privilege to take.
Our relationship isn't open, and I'm fine with that. I am, myself, rather monogamous thus far in my life. (I'm nearing 30, so there's still time for me to be wrong, but I do have some context.) I am her first sexual contact, whereas she is probably my fifth or sixth. I'd have to work that one out, I always forget. There was a very busy month there. And that's not counting second base with another partner long ago.
I sure hope that's not too many. We seem happy.
Ignoring a persons past is great up to a point.
Better would be to not let it bother you, but you still need to know a few things, like if she was married before. Was her life is destroyed by a meth addiction, and now you need to watch for a few signs of relapse. Better still is she a super assassin and every thing she has ever told you is a lie and the marriage is only a convenient cover story.
Is your partner actually who they say they are and not a dirty money digging tramp that is trying to drive away your friends so that nobody who actually cares about you can help you out of a bad decision?
Why am I stuck making examples that you are more likely to see in a theater then in real life.
Better would be to not let it bother you, but you still need to know a few things, like if she was married before. Was her life is destroyed by a meth addiction, and now you need to watch for a few signs of relapse. Better still is she a super assassin and every thing she has ever told you is a lie and the marriage is only a convenient cover story.
Is your partner actually who they say they are and not a dirty money digging tramp that is trying to drive away your friends so that nobody who actually cares about you can help you out of a bad decision?
Why am I stuck making examples that you are more likely to see in a theater then in real life.
My wife was my first and only and same goes for her. Hindsight says i wish otherwise some days but it's pretty cool to have only had that expierence with one partner and vice versa. If i hadn't married my wife when i did i would have had alot more dating partners and probaly sexual partners. No number is to great or small as long as they enjoy with the current partner.
500 is pushing it though...
500 is pushing it though...