How many sexual partners is too many?

[Zorg Machine]

Sleeping with a lot of people doesn't make you a slut, it makes you someone who likes sex.
2, 20, 50, it really doesn't change anything.

definition of slut: a slovenly or promiscuous woman. promiscuous=someone who has had a lot of sexual partners.

OT: there is no exact limit as long as she doesn't have any STD's (original answer)
oh and btw, I see nothing wrong with pulling off a "perfect week".

 

[mik hardcore]

As far as previous sexual partners go:
0 makes you a virgin,
1-5 makes you realistic,
10-20 makes you experienced,
500 makes you VERY experienced,
constantly telling people about your many sexual exploits in detail makes you a slut.

 

[Kaisharga]

The answer to the OP would be around 7 billion for me. At that point, what, I'm the last option? I can do better than that.

 

[Callate]

I think the last two rules of the OP can be boiled down to "If you aren't certain you want/need to know the answers, don't ask the question." Which is generally a good idea.

Beyond that, if- outside obvious practical considerations like STDs, children, jealous exes showing up at odd hours with loaded weapons and so on- the number of partners someone you think you could feel something as profound as love towards has had is the single point capable of making or breaking the relationship, I think you're a terribly shallow person. Which is a far better reason for not getting involved with you.

Now, this is not to say there aren't other factors that can tie in. This person has had a series of brief sexual relationships because it's how they manifest their self hatred; this one never stays with anyone long because they're pathologically unfaithful; this one has never had sex with anyone because they think it's their bargaining chip with the person who's going to make their screwed-up life make sense; this one is a virgin because their upbringing has left them deeply confused about their own sexuality.

People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Far too much so to boil everything down to a number.

 

[quantum mechanic]

When I was still in the dating scene, I followed three sacred rules:

1.Never think about who you could be with when you're committed to someone already.
2.Never talk about your past relationships, unless your partner specifically asks about them.
3.Never, under any circumstances, ask about their sexual past, unless they want to talk about it.

Of these rules, I believed that the third one was the most essential. Simply put, their past belonged to them and had no bearing on our present. What I would like to know is whether I'm alone in this assertion, or is there a valid reason to snoop into your significant other's past exploits? And, after having asked the big question, what number would have to be given in order to shut your relationship down?

I'm not sexually active, so maybe I'm missing some insight or emotional reasons, but I'm inclined to disagree with #3, if only on the "what if" basis of STDs. I guess my argument is that if you can't talk openly to your partner about your sexual history, or they can't talk openly to you, you should take another look at whether or not you should be having sex. But that's just my opinion, not based on experience or anything.

Edit: I suppose if you don't want to talk about it, just go with your partner to get tested for STDs before sex. That would prevent nasty surprises.

 

[Koganesaga]

However many they had until they hit the part where they got an STD, then that number was too many.

 

[Chewster]

The only reason to maybe (and this is a big maybe) snoop is if you think they have some sort of fetish they are hiding. Even then, with time, it will likely come out of the wash anyhow.

Otherwise, those rules seem reasonable, to a degree. They are still relative to the individual relationship in question though.

As for the exact number, I cannot say. Maybe however many it takes to get VD is too many, but even then, it is a personal choice.

 

[shadowstriker86]

For guys, there is none.

For a girl, 3. That's when the tread starts to wear.

 

[newuseforvintage]

Two.

Yeah, I'm one of those freaks who actually believes in virginity until marriage. Don't try to convince me otherwise, people have already tried (and failed).

Why?

 

[Deofuta]

If you're a girl, too many can make you a slut.
If you're a guy, too many can make you awesome.
I guess it depends on gender. For me, say, two sexual partners within half a month isn't that good, and one night stands can be worse due to risk of STDs.

Had to fix it. Biggest double standard in the modern day.

 

[nicholaxxx]

Trick question, that number doesn't exist.

seriously though, one MAYBE two, only if your partner wants a threesome.

 

[Agayek]

Eleventy Billion.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

For guys, there is none.

For a girl, 3. That's when the tread starts to wear.

Double standard much? Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's a hero, but a girl doing it is a slut?

I hope you're joking, but that's not funny.

Really, the number doesn't matter to me so long as a. there was proper protection involved, b. my partner's not sleeping with anyone other than me when we're together.

 

[Beefcakes]

Ladies Gentlemen, there's an equation for these sorts of things
Y = X + 1
Y = Too many Sexual partners
X = How many people you slept with before getting an un-treatable STD
And of course 1 = 1

Because after you get that STD, any more sexual partners is too many

 

[Riobux]

I don't think I could emphasis this enough: It depends on the person. Some people don't mind you mentioning past relationships (e.g. I mentioned to a girl I really like, who likes me back, that there is a creepy amount of similarities between her and my ex; things like the same home-town name despite thousands of miles in distance from each other) and some people don't mind you mentioning about your sexual past; although it usually helps if you were asked about it before going on about or if you have a good reason to.

However, too many sexual partners? I'd probably say a 1.5, on average, per year, in the last five or three years. Plus, the length of each relationship must, on average, be over three months. This is unless there is a valid excuse of why. Oh, and the sex has to be vaginal to count. Sex happens, I'd be a horrible liar if I said otherwise. However, excessive recent sex just shows you're probably not mature enough for a real relationship. I do direct this to both males and female.

EnzoHonda does have a point that intent does matter greatly. You could have twenty relationships in three years or two in fifteen. If you refer to your past relationships casually with no weight and if you easily slip into a relationship, then you're just too immature for a real relationship.

 

[Kris015]

I think that 4 people (in the group as a whole) is about as far as you can go.
Any more than that and you'll run out of things for people to do.

Well, I guess I'm going to hell, since I've had a lot more than 4 sexual partners. A LOT more.

At any rate, I'm going to vote that if you don't have any STD's, haven't randomly been impregnating (or getting impregnated) and then flaking out on the child (or children), and you've been open and truthful with your various sexual partners about your desire to ONLY have 'no-strings-attached' sex, as opposed to a relationship, you're fine.

Mind you, I'm in an long-term open relationship, and while I'm not chasing as much ass as once I did, it's more because I choose to turn down offers, rather than actually slowing down.

And your avatar is the "Everyone else has had more sex then me" bunny?

 

[shadowstriker86]

For guys, there is none.

For a girl, 3. That's when the tread starts to wear.

Double standard much? Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's a hero, but a girl doing it is a slut?

I hope you're joking, but that's not funny.

Really, the number doesn't matter to me so long as a. there was proper protection involved, b. my partner's not sleeping with anyone other than me when we're together.

you know why he's a hero? because a guy has to work to get a chick. not the same for a chick.

even if a guy is an 11/10, he still has to work and put effort into getting a chick. If a girl is even a 4/10, she just has to wait a little bit later but doesn't have to work at all. Thus the reason for the double standard.

 

[Mr. Mike]

Well very recently I broke number 1, but that was largely because I'd begun to lose interest anyways and we've since broken up.

Two.

Yeah, I'm one of those freaks who actually believes in virginity until marriage. Don't try to convince me otherwise, people have already tried (and failed).

same
here

same

And yes, same here. Friends make fun of me for it, but what the hey, I can be old-fashioned if I want.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

For guys, there is none.

For a girl, 3. That's when the tread starts to wear.

Double standard much? Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's a hero, but a girl doing it is a slut?

I hope you're joking, but that's not funny.

Really, the number doesn't matter to me so long as a. there was proper protection involved, b. my partner's not sleeping with anyone other than me when we're together.

you know why he's a hero? because a guy has to work to get a chick. not the same for a chick.

even if a guy is an 11/10, he still has to work and put effort into getting a chick. If a girl is even a 4/10, she just has to wait a little bit later but doesn't have to work at all. Thus the reason for the double standard.

I will call BS on this reasoning, and leave it at that. The standard should be the same for women and men, because girls have to work just as hard as guys do to get laid.

 

[shadowstriker86]

For guys, there is none.

For a girl, 3. That's when the tread starts to wear.

Double standard much? Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's a hero, but a girl doing it is a slut?

I hope you're joking, but that's not funny.

Really, the number doesn't matter to me so long as a. there was proper protection involved, b. my partner's not sleeping with anyone other than me when we're together.

you know why he's a hero? because a guy has to work to get a chick. not the same for a chick.

even if a guy is an 11/10, he still has to work and put effort into getting a chick. If a girl is even a 4/10, she just has to wait a little bit later but doesn't have to work at all. Thus the reason for the double standard.

I will call BS on this reasoning, and leave it at that. The standard should be the same for women and men, because girls have to work just as hard as guys do to get laid.

lol i'll throw a BS call on that, where in the hell would a guy ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER say no to getting laid unless the chick was extremely ugly, fat or both