How to Become a Game Journalist

[Porecomesis]

As I write game reviews on my blog and I don't even have eight comments, this kind of hurts...

Man, I need a life.

 

[maninahat]

Hell read one of my reviews if you care to take look "shameless shelf promotion"

http://cecilsanimevisualnovelreview.blogspot.com/2011/06/review-of-clannad-visual-novel-true.html

http://cecilsanimevisualnovelreview.blogspot.com/2011/07/this-is-science-and-drpepper-review-of.html

May I be so rude as to provide my own tip?

That first review is nearly 2000 words. For a reviewer just starting out, you can't expect most people to follow a tract that long. Only the most well known reviewers would get away with something so wordy, and even then, they tend not to try. Roger Ebert, for example, writes to around 700 words - and that is far more than most reviewers get in columns or print. tvtropes.org, by comparison, restricts reviews to just 400 measly words. That does a great job of keeping reviews focused and easy to read. I recommend you limit yourself to a similar word count, just to train yourself to get to the point quickly.

But what if you can't express everything you want to say in just 400-500 words? Than you have no business being a reviewer. A good reviewer can even summarize their opinion in a single sentence. Try it!

 

[ElPatron]

I only got the sarcasm towards the end.

It was so silly I actually thought it was plausible for the gaming "press" to work like that.

Kinda like Poe's Law.

 

[remm2004]

This is a required read for this column: http://pavlovblogs.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/rejected-and-review.html (link originally provided by Yahtzee?s tweeter)

 

[z121231211]

I kindof wish you did this in a Zero Punctuation episode because it seems to be exactly like your webcomics episode and the tone is very different from an Extra Punctuation article.

 

[Howling Din]

Giving us smart people fun things to laugh at. You, Yahtzee, are a force for good.

 

[Hitchmeister]

I think you just gave Steve Butts a heart attack.

I thought it was Susan who handled the pitches and new submissions. Which explains her highly-practiced ability to say "Aw, hell no!"

Ayuh. Though the skill it's developed is more of an open-mouthed stare, followed by "You have got to be kidding me."

In truth, the vast majority of the pitches I get are fairly ordinary. I reject about 96% of pitches I receive, but usually for very mundane reasons - it's not a good fit for the audience, it's something that's been done to death, we've already run something along those lines fairly recently, or the writer just isn't all that good. The jaw droppers are relatively few and far between, but they do certainly leave an impression.

So you requested that Yahtzee write this because you don't get enough truly entertainingly bad submissions?

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

"Are you being sarcastic?" "I don't know anymore."

The multiple levels of irony and sarcasm in the article caused my computer to explode. It is currently melting like sugar in the rain. AHH THERE'S SIMPSONS IN MY HEAD GET IT OUTTT-

 

[OldNewNewOld]

Um... Not to poke holes in your advice, but if you have about four people claiming that your writing is perfect, doesn't that mean that your writing isn't terrible enough?

But you forget that those 4 people are Modern Warfare contaminated gamer. Their understanding of the word perfect grammar is... perfkt.

Tell you what - give this a listen. It'll provide some insight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZqHoSrrS28 (Apologies for the audio, there were tech issues at the panel. This was the best we could get.)

59:58 of the video.
Soooo much win.

Also, why does it have so little views? The video is great. I don't even consider being a writer, jet I listened to it. Left the video in the background and enjoyed it while doing other things.

It was great.

 

[Dastardly]

Plus also I have this idea for a game too. Its like a FPS but wait! When you shoot the player becomes the bullet and you can steer it to hit the target or other stuff! It will also has RPG elements so you can level up you're bullets with more speed or hats or sounds. It could even be an MMO!

Job, please!

Sounds like a perfect match for the "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" liscence which is still rocking the box office. That whole little gag with the Yosemite Sam gun needs it's own game. You should probably submit this idea to Disney ASAP....

The "Dum-Dums" (that's what they were called, if I recall) can be my on-disk DLC.

I think you can improve this.
When you shoot and become the bullet, have a gauge that fills up over time from successful attacks and the like. When it's full you can trigger a slow-motion effect, gun-time if you will, that slows everything but you down.
This allows you to get a greater degree of accuracy and when you strike someone's head, you get a free turn in the turn-based battle that follows between you and their brain!

And there's the first expansion pack.

Tell you what - give this a listen. It'll provide some insight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZqHoSrrS28 (Apologies for the audio, there were tech issues at the panel. This was the best we could get.)

Loved this panel. My first-ever pitch was a surprisingly nerve-wracking affair, actually Googling how to pitch stuff, tossing my goofy-but-beloved idea out into the void, getting it rejected, writing it anyway just to get the idea out of my head, getting it un-rejected, and then boom one day it's on the internet... So listening to this panel really resonated with me, and I'm sorry I missed out on PAX.

(Aaaand after looking back over some of my own mistakes, as described in your panel, I can't help but feel I should thank you yet again for taking a chance on a new guy!)

 

[AstylahAthrys]

I hate it when Yahtzee gets all serious like this. He just had to give all the dirty secrets. I'm going to have so much more competition now!

 

[ThunderCavalier]

You know, I would love if Yahtzee made a Zero Punctuation video version of this article. It could be like his rant on webcomics from before.

 

[DalekJaas]

Good article exactly what I wanted to read. I imagine that game journalism, although much less professional than real journalism, would still be very difficult to get into

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

>.>

Not sure if serious. Experience has taught me to take everything Yahtzee writes/says with a boulder of salt.

Curse your passive-aggressive tone of voice Making it difficult for me to figure whether your giving honest advice or sarcastically messing with me!

And yes, I did read his disclaimer on page 1, but his ending sentence gave me the impression that he was just fucking with my head.

CAPTCHA: ball of confusion

Pretty much sums up my feelings right now.

 

[riftermcriftington]

Y.C you diabolical bastard.

 

[LightspeedJack]

This is Yahtzee's way of being nice and giving advice. You just got to remember to do the opposite of everything he says here (unless he's been crafty and slipped in some genuine advice).

 

[Cecilthedarkknight_234]

Hell read one of my reviews if you care to take look "shameless shelf promotion"

http://cecilsanimevisualnovelreview.blogspot.com/2011/06/review-of-clannad-visual-novel-true.html

http://cecilsanimevisualnovelreview.blogspot.com/2011/07/this-is-science-and-drpepper-review-of.html

May I be so rude as to provide my own tip?

That first review is nearly 2000 words. For a reviewer just starting out, you can't expect most people to follow a tract that long. Only the most well known reviewers would get away with something so wordy, and even then, they tend not to try. Roger Ebert, for example, writes to around 700 words - and that is far more than most reviewers get in columns or print. tvtropes.org, by comparison, restricts reviews to just 400 measly words. That does a great job of keeping reviews focused and easy to read. I recommend you limit yourself to a similar word count, just to train yourself to get to the point quickly.

But what if you can't express everything you want to say in just 400-500 words? Than you have no business being a reviewer. A good reviewer can even summarize their opinion in a single sentence. Try it!

I have over the past year that was from a year ago bluntly put i have gotten better at doing it. The problem was I rambled on way to much since that was 300 hr game which had way to much info to convoy in 500 words or less. This would be like doing a in-depth review of fall-out 3/NV due to large amount of material. Fine I also accept your challenge.

Hell when the time comes I will copy paste most of those reviews to Microsoft word and set myself to 650 word limit and cut out chunks of material. However I will say this I do not count synopsis or info on the source material/adapts legit parts of the review. Those are just there to inform the reader what it's based on, however I can do two separate post seeing what you mean now. It took nearly 2 pages to reach just the beginning of the review.

The clannad visual novel overall is one of the greatest love stories ever told in any form of media.

 

[Scars Unseen]

Thanks to this article, I am now ready to launch my career writing game reviews in the form of badly composed limericks and incomprehensible haiku. Sorry Susan, I know you would have loved my work, but at Yahtzee's insistence I must seek my fortune among the lucrative dead tree publishers. To Game Informer!

 

[algalon]

Hey, I have a pond! I'll be sure and send my full review of Diablo 3 in with a picture of my leech-covered corpse floating in my pond. Did I mention my pond has leeches?

 

[KarlMonster]

If the word "butthurt" appears in the next edition of the Oxford Dictionary, I am going to blame you, "Yahtzee" Croshaw.

Then I'll be forced to burn you in effigy. And your little dog imp too.