How to Read Movie News

[Da Joz]

This was hilarious, and very informative!

 

[subtlefuge]

I guess I'm not very cynical, but almost every single one of those things were said about "The Last Airbender" and it ended up exactly like you said.

 

[AC Drawings]

Oh god, Bobbo, that was hilarious. Good one.

The Tim Burton One really stuck out to me though.

 

[Nerf Ninja]

So how's that white guilt working out for you Bob?

 

[Tulks]

While I'm not normally a huge fan, this was comedy gold.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

I didn't find it so, I'm afraid. Perhaps it's because I don't often read film press releases (or know who Joss Whedon is), so just didn't get it. Also, it struck me as overly cynical.

Get out of my internet.

OK, now I know I should have heard of this guy before. I wonder why I haven't.

Joss Whedon and a lot of his projects enjoy a 'cult status', especially amongst us internet folk.

Reasons why we're shocked you haven't heard of him, because we're nerds and this is just stuff we know:

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  Angel
  Firefly/Serenity
  Dollhouse [small](admittedly not his best work)[/small]
  Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Oh yes, he's also the co-writer of the new Captain America film and he's the co-writer and director of the upcoming The Avengers film. Also he writes comic books.

 

[Jenx]

"hey guys, people lie in press releases! FUNNEH!"

Yeah. Yeah they do. That's why nobody fucking reads movie news and actually believes anything they say there.

 

[Optimystic]

"Starring Vin Diesel."

"Jason Statham said no."

I lol'ed HARD. At work. Thanks Bob

Also, the last couple on the first page are unbolded.

 

[repeating integers]

I didn't find it so, I'm afraid. Perhaps it's because I don't often read film press releases (or know who Joss Whedon is), so just didn't get it. Also, it struck me as overly cynical.

Get out of my internet.

OK, now I know I should have heard of this guy before. I wonder why I haven't.

Joss Whedon and a lot of his projects enjoy a 'cult status', especially amongst us internet folk.

Reasons why we're shocked you haven't heard of him, because we're nerds and this is just stuff we know:

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  Angel
  Firefly/Serenity
  Dollhouse [small](admittedly not his best work)[/small]
  Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Oh yes, he's also the co-writer of the new Captain America film and he's the co-writer and director of the upcoming The Avengers film. Also he writes comic books.

Ah. That explains it.

The only one of those I've watched was Dr. Horrible, and that was in 8-bit form.

 

[darksakul]

Cynical humour that hits the nail on its head. I Do not expect any less from Movie Bob.

I would think its more funny if it was not for the fact everything Movie Bob said was true.
The truth sort of sobers everything up a little.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

The Joss Whedon and Tim Burton ones were HILARIOUS

 

[Venereus]

Oh Bob, You forgot one.

"Visually Stunning"
"We forgot to give it a plot"

Yeah, but that one is mostly used about videogames these days.

 

[TheEnglishman]

There is one inaccuracy in this article: Jason Statham has NEVER said "No" to a movie role.

(it's a shame, because he's actually a very good actor)

The king of this is Ron Pearlman though. Jason Statham can't hold a candle to the silly stuff he has put out, and yet he is a really good classicaly trained actor. My theory is he is just having fun.

To quote him from an interview (thank you TVTropes):
"I'm doing weapons training for this piece of shit, then I go to Romania to shoot another piece of shit, then come back to shoot my part in this piece of shit...[sighs]...What can I say? My wife loves shoes."

 

[Woodsey]

""Dumbed down for the Facebook generation brats who we believe are the only people still spending money at movie theaters.""

You know, for someone who has a massive hard-on for comics that the generation older than him thought were stupid and pointless, bit of an odd thing to say. Unless all of that is the opinion of the people you're taking the piss out of.

 

[Optimystic]

How bout lets start learning how to read the real news. Or is that beyond everyone.

If you're looking for "real news," perhaps a gaming site isn't the best place. Just a thought.

 

[RJ Dalton]

I particularly love the Joss Whedon quip. It perfectly sums up all the reasons I hate his stuff.

 

[Puzzlenaut]

Sorry Bob... but was that meant to be funny?

I didn't find it so, I'm afraid. Perhaps it's because I don't often read film press releases (or know who Joss Whedon is), so just didn't get it. Also, it struck me as overly cynical

"I don't know anything about film releases but still expect to have found this funny. I do not understand that almost all satire is fairly ironic."

 

[xyrafhoan]

"From the people who brought you ..."

"No one with any particularly impressive credits is involved directly in the production, but a few of the several-dozen people credited as some sort of producer also had their names on something popular, so we can technically mention it in our advertisements!"

Boy do I ever hate this tagline in commercials. "From the producers of..." is probably the least indicative about the quality of the actual film.

...Actually, it is probably the most indicative about the quality of the film. It means the film is garbage and they couldn't find anything good to say about it so they hope movie-goers will be gullible enough to believe producers do anything but manage the budget/hopefully not rape the director and the actors' and writers' vision for their movie to pander to their Hollywood-defined target audience. Ugh.