How to Read Movie News

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Yeah...Couple of issues that kept me from enjoying this:

1. There were a lot of quips in there that I've never actually heard ANYONE say about their movie.
2. Kind of an alarming amount of accusation of racism towards Hollywood.
3. Even of the ones I've heard said before, the "translations" were occasionally pretty nonsensical.

The descriptions of the gay/lesbian sex scenes were pretty funny, though.

 

[Frizzle]

So what exactly is hot topic?

A "trendy" store for goth teens and their precieved counter-culture.

....that sells stupid sex-themed toys and clothing.

They do have some cool posters occasionally, though. Great place to go around Halloween. I also love Tim Burton.

 

[Sarah Frazier]

Even though I don't read any movie reviews, I wouldn't be at all surprised that trash works are dressed up as "a unique look" "stunning effects" and otherwise throwing around famous names because that's all the movie (and even video games) have to offer. In fact, these statements can be used for just about everything that goes through a review process or has a PR team. Even books.

 

[Logic 0]

Finally I now have more info to becoming one step closer to bitter and awesome.

 

[Callate]

save that she is fiercely (yet demurely) attracted exclusively to non-threatening nice guys who happen to resemble the males in the film's target audience."

SHORT VERSION:

"Screenplay by Joss Whedon!"

Ah... Have you ever seen anything by Joss Whedon? I'll grant the "beating up guys twice their size" thing, but that last bit is sheer nonsense.

Are you implying that
<spoiler= These>http://images.wikia.com/buffy/images/0/09/Angel2.jpghttp://scentsofself.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/spike.jpg
Weren't Buffy's target audience?

Well, if you replaced "non-threatening nice guys" with "occasional cold blooded murderers", perhaps...

 

[Don quixote's mule]

2. Kind of an alarming amount of accusation of racism towards Hollywood.

Hollywood is weirdly racist. Movie bob was exaggerating a bit but there really is a fear in the movie industry about honestly portraying race or sexuality. For some reason movies have to be divided up into movies for White people, movies for Black people, or movies for some other minority. They RARELY ever have a minority character and less so a minority lead that doesn't have some stereo typical trait.

 

[Spacecat-V]

-sigh- its sad knowing the videogame industry will one day turn out like this ( if not already, i blame the western market gaining control)

 

[omegawyrm]

"A female character who is capable of beating up male enemies twice her size like they were made of jell-o but also has the appearance, physique and temperament of an emotionally-traumatized teenager. Also, she is almost totally uninformed about sex, save that she is fiercely (yet demurely) attracted exclusively to non-threatening nice guys who happen to resemble the males in the film's target audience."

At the risk of perpetuating a stereotype that all Joss Whedon fans are screaming acolytes, completely blind to criticism and logic, I can't help but take issue with this.

Is the insinuation that female characters with emotional issues and are completely normally heterosexual are not complex, challenging or strong? Ignoring the fact that this paragraph ignores all the female characters not called Buffy, and to an extent River, these things don't really hold up at all. Superman doesn't have the physique to move planets and buildings, but others in the same genre are criticised? Buffy and River are teenagers so they look like them. Buffy is perfectly educated about sex and River isn't attracted to anybody.

I honestly can't see what you're trying to say here. If anything this describes Sucker Punch more than Whedon's works. This was probably just a throw away joke which wasn't thought about deliberately which I'm taking too seriously but hey, Whedon's works get dragged through the mud undeservedly a lot and it's kind of a sore point for me.

I'm pretty sure Bob has made a passing reference or two to liking Joss Whedon, so I think this is playful criticism. Sort of like when he says Nolan's movies are exclusively male-centric and grimdark.

And I think this joke is actually rolling two Joss Whedon archetypes together to reach its punchline. Not just Buffy or River, but Buffy and Anya, and River and Kaylee.

On a separate note, the joke about the contrast between gay male and female sex was actually pretty depressing.

 

[Irridium]

Reading this, I'd love to see one done on game press releases.

I didn't find it so, I'm afraid. Perhaps it's because I don't often read film press releases (or know who Joss Whedon is), so just didn't get it. Also, it struck me as overly cynical.

Get out of my internet.

OK, now I know I should have heard of this guy before. I wonder why I haven't.

Joss Whedon and a lot of his projects enjoy a 'cult status', especially amongst us internet folk.

Reasons why we're shocked you haven't heard of him, because we're nerds and this is just stuff we know:

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  Angel
  Firefly/Serenity
  Dollhouse [small](admittedly not his best work)[/small]
  Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Oh yes, he's also the co-writer of the new Captain America film and he's the co-writer and director of the upcoming The Avengers film. Also he writes comic books.

He also did some work on the first Toy Story. Can't remember what work exactly, but I know I saw him in the opening credits.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

He also did some work on the first Toy Story. Can't remember what work exactly, but I know I saw him in the opening credits.

IMDb says: "co-writer". Thanks, IMDb!

 

[DanDeFool]

"The story has been updated to reflect the reality of the day-to-day modern world."

"The characters use mobile phones and talk about Facebook."

Hey Bob, you forgot, this also means:

"Lots of bought-and-paid-for product placement!"

 

[cgaWolf]

I'm waiting for all the Joss Whedon fans to get angry despite what Movie Bob was saying is true lol

I love Whedons stuff; but still found it funny in a "it's funny 'cuz it's true" sort of way

 

[Random berk]

Bob, you left out

"Based on true events"
A couple of people were murdered in America one time so... Texas Chainsaw Massacre!!!

 

[Zydrate]

Sorry Bob... but was that meant to be funny?

I didn't find it so, I'm afraid. Perhaps it's because I don't often read film press releases (or know who Joss Whedon is), so just didn't get it. Also, it struck me as overly cynical.

Joss Whedon is a guy who shits success but networks keep giving him the finger. He made the widely successful Buffy series, As well as Firefly. He pretty much hasn't been able to get a foothold since.

 

[MarsProbe]

"From the people who brought you ..."

This one really gets me. The amount of times I've seen some rather uninteresting film shown as being "From the producer of...".

"The story has been updated to reflect the reality of the day-to-day modern world."

"The characters use mobile phones and talk about Facebook."

This one though, reminds me of one of the Thor trailers I saw. Finishes up with some girl pulling out her phone to take a photo (presumably of Thor poncing about without his shirt on) and saying "oh, this is totally going up on facebook" or something to that effect. Just so we don't forget that Facebook exists in this films world as well, which makes it modern. Until everyone moves on to the next big social networking fad and forgets about FB.

 

[Will Lorus]

I'm pretty sure Bob has made a passing reference or two to liking Joss Whedon, so I think this is playful criticism. Sort of like when he says Nolan's movies are exclusively male-centric and grimdark.

And I think this joke is actually rolling two Joss Whedon archetypes together to reach its punchline. Not just Buffy or River, but Buffy and Anya, and River and Kaylee.

On a separate note, the joke about the contrast between gay male and female sex was actually pretty depressing.

Yeah, I figured the comment was more in jest than serious criticism, yes I see what you're saying about blending a bunch of characters to reach the punchline.

Ignoring that comment which obviously rubbed me the wrong way, this was pretty good. I roll my eyes every time a film is advertised as 'from the producers of' or 'with executive producer...' when there are a dozen other executive producers as well. I did find that Statham line very funny though.

 

[serata]

Snip

Joss Whedon and a lot of his projects enjoy a 'cult status', especially amongst us internet folk.

Reasons why we're shocked you haven't heard of him, because we're nerds and this is just stuff we know:

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  Angel
  Firefly/Serenity
  Dollhouse [small](admittedly not his best work)[/small]
  Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Oh yes, he's also the co-writer of the new Captain America film and he's the co-writer and director of the upcoming The Avengers film. Also he writes comic books.

You've forgotten Alien: Resurrection. Proof that not even the venerable JW is perfect... (though pretty darn close)

Sigourney Weaver falls in love with an alien, does that make the alien the target audience? :O

 

[Raesvelg]

You forgot one...

How to read movie news:

A cynical attempt by an online film critic to cast himself as, well, a cynical online film critic in order to make his reviews seem more "edgy". A token number of jabs will be taken at pop culture sacred cows that are currently cool to take jabs at. The race card will be played, but exclusively against white people, because they make for an acceptable target, and retconning a character to be something other than white is multiculturalism.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

You've forgotten Alien: Resurrection. Proof that not even the venerable JW is perfect... (though pretty darn close)

Sigourney Weaver falls in love with an alien, does that make the alien the target audience? :O

I think everyone would probably be better off forgetting that movie, but I was simply being selective, for much the same reason I didn't bother mentioning that he co-wrote the screenplay for the film Waterworld (though he went uncredited for that one, heh).