How would you run hell?

[2fish]

First it needs the right music

Spoiler

Then we need a goal for our members. I figure helping me build an empire is a good start.

I wanted to have the position of tooth fairy but the ones in power make me ruler of hell? They give me all the worst people and they expect me not to invade them? The fools. I will raise an army then destroy the tooth fairy and any who are dumb enough to offer aid to that faker!

Revenge shall be mine!

 

[Brad Calkins]

Nothing hurts more than empty hope, so I'd give them the idea that it might actually be possible to escape, give them visions of paradise, and let them "escape" their cells, and make friends with orther "escapees", only to gradually isolate them, show them each other suffering and eventually recapture them. they'll take it, the desperate always do, only to make it hurt far more than any physical torture can.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

I'd get the most attractive, willing, kinky members of whatever sex said person is attracted to, a sheet of glass, ties their hand behind their back and make them wear very uncomfortable trousers for all eternity...

 

[james0192]

Fire... Lots and lots of fire... Everything can be solved with fire!

The worse you were in life? THE MORE FIRE YOU GET!
of course the worst people would be murderers, rapists, child molesters and people who try to
stop you on the street for to tell you about something.

Oh and everyone would have to be in fancy dress - my theory is that fancy dress is an invention that could only have been born in the depths of hell anyway... Oh how much I hate it.

I wouldn't be all bad mind you, might give everyone a friday off from the fire... once every few millennia or so...

 

[Palademon]

Punish people who were honestly bad, but y'know, not the actual Hell experience. Closed off from people, constant reminders of misdoings etc.

As for the limbo people, WAFFLE RAVE PARTAAAAAAAY!

Hell is a singly highway covered in Legos, all arranged in different positions, and to get to Heaven, which is roughly 1000 miles away, you have to step on all of them.

My God, man. You are a sadistic villain! You can post this? This kind of sickness doesn't get at least a warning? What is this site coming to...

 

[Gizmo1990]

Ever been to the bank at lunchtime? That. For all eternity. With bagpipes.

 

[Miles000]

I've always preferred Crowley's method in Supernatural.
One long, endless line.
Because why reward people for being dicks in life by allowing them to be dicks in the afterlife?
No one likes waiting in line.

Yes.
It's bloody perfect!
And when they get to the front of the line... It's actually the back again.

......

That's implying I want to punish those people though...
Turn the fires of hell into a giant BBQ. Wicked party for eternity.

 

[Pebkio]

Are you kidding? Air conditioning... light mall music. If fact, yeah! It'll be one gigantic mall. With a food court filled with all of the best mall restaurants. And a play area for kids. And it's got 16 floors full of the best mall stores to ever have existed including Babbages. With an indoor ball pit. And everyone is holding a sale all the time. There will be a rave warehouse... and a laser tag warehouse... and a movie theater.

But you don't get to go shopping, no. This mall stays open 24/7 and every sinner there has to work, 24/7, and the job that best atones for the sin. Except for two hours every year. In those two hours you get to enjoy the mall and make other people's job a bit worse just to take your frustrations out.

This plan takes care of three things:

One: Since I'm ruler there I just get to enjoy the mall constantly.
Two: It's actually not THAT bad of a place I'd get more people, and that's a win in my book.
Three: It's still technically topical punishment, so I won't be shut down.

 

[Laser Priest]

Lines. Excruciatingly long wait times.

So long that by the time you get to the front, you've forgotten what you got in line for.

Then I show up, throw up on you and send you to the back of the line.

All the while, dance-pop hits blast on endlessly over loudspeakers.

Though anyone I like gets to join me for poker or something.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

I would 'pardon' all damned souls to allow them access to their own personal Heavens, but rob them of all positive emotion - so they are forced to spend eternity living through what they felt to be their ideal existence only to find it brings them no joy at all and have to endure all of their dreams and ambitions turning to meaningless ash.

Either that or paperwork. Lots of paperwork.

 

[Moderated]

It depends on what they did and the conditions in which they did it.

 

[thesilentman]

My hell would work on irony and poetic justice. It should be fun seeing how the murderers and the rapists die...

 

[unstabLized]

Hell would look exactly like this. Just replace Center of the earth with Centre of Hell.

 

[CommanderL]

I would turn it into a nice place becuase fuck the rules there would be some punisment for certian people but only to they fill regret

 

[In Search of Username]

I'd shut it down. I know, I know, boring but morally defensible.

 

[GTwander]

It would be like a resort hotel, and the event director is Terry Crews, but every now and then he'll punch you in the nuts out of nowhere.

 

[thiosk]

One thing is for sure,
I'd make you hate it.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Void and solitude . Nothing more . Enjoy eternity all alone , in all darkness , all by yourself, forever .

All hail Sithis! All hail the void!

In all seriousness though, forever by yourself would be awful. I think I'd have this in my hell too.

 

[C F]

Hundreds of millions of pages of SBaHJ.

You will try to escape, but the exit is a crappy .JPEG artifact. There will be poorly photoshopped keys but no lock to match them with.
Random stretches of butchered audio cropped from any given Youtube video will play in asynchronous intervals. CAPTCHAS will be implemented frequently to confirm your continual existence, and advertisements will pause minutes of your day to market on your suffering. Forever you will be wondering about the conclusion of the nancho party arc.

Conception and understanding of anything will be an uphill battle for the rest of your days.

 

[Dangit2019]

snip

Three words:

Flaming

Clown

Spiders.