How would you survive a horror movie?

[Pearwood]

We're all or at least mostly nerdy computer types so we'd be fine so long as we had our laptop with us.

 

[matoasters]

Seeing as I'd probably be the killer, I'd just avoid assertive, smart, unslutty females. If I wasn't the killer though, just get a gun, keep it loaded, and always check the safety. So boring.

 

[Dags90]

Be the likable one and not have sex with my romantic interest. And never be relieved.

You forgot something. Unfortunately you "had to take a wizz" and got killed.

I think the only way to survive in a horror film as a gay man is to start as a bully and have some sort of coming out, and redemption arch.

 

[Mitsozuka]

How to survive a horror movie: Not be in one.


Alternately: Lots of popcorn and a relatively boring life.

 

[Fantasylord]

Well for just about every corporal being out there I have one sure fire method
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
As for spirits.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEEE!!!
As for when these methods don't work.
RUN MORON RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

 

[Thundergod1020]

I would use this http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SortingAlgorithmOfMortality

 

[wildpeaks]

Well for just about every corporal being out there I have one sure fire method
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
As for spirits.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEEE!!!
As for when these methods don't work.
RUN MORON RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

And you can mix all three: "Run, the power of christ kills it with fire !!".

 

[Commissar Sae]

"The Thing"
Okay so Somehow I ended up in Antartica with Kurt Russel, Give Mac the flamethrower and stick with him until everything is on fire and we freeze to death... Yeah that movie kind of ends with a downer.

 

[badgersprite]

Lesbians are pretty likely to be the killer in horror movies, so either that saves me, although I don't think I'm angsty and repressed enough to have an evil murderer rapist alter ego locked away inside me.

Chances are I'd just be sensible enough to get the heck out of the town where people are randomly and mysteriously being killed, or not move into the creepy haunted house/hotel with no one but my dysfunctional family.

 

[Tonythion]

I'm a minority, I die.
Buuuut I'm not the most attractive person
I'm not a stupid ass wipe
I would never under any circumstances have sex when I know any moment something might kill me
I wouldn't go around breathing loudly through my mouth.
If I saw someone being killed I wouldn't stare and silently scream for five minutes.
I'm young looking (I'm nineteen people say I look 12 though) so kids can't die!
I would never split up from the group.
Stay in the middle of the group.
Have my back to a wall
Still end up dying because I would be gay flamboyant coward character and because I'm fucking Hispanic who believes in God.

 

[Medimorpho]

Lesbians are pretty likely to be the killer in horror movies, so either that saves me, although I don't think I'm angsty and repressed enough to have an evil murderer rapist alter ego locked away inside me.

Chances are I'd just be sensible enough to get the heck out of the town where people are randomly and mysteriously being killed.

were you referencing Earth Day?

 

[deserteagleeye]

I would:
1. Get in my car, after checking the back seat of course.
2. Drive to the nearest airport and buy a seat on the next plane leaving for a major city.
3. Check into a nice hotel.
4. Order room service and wait for the whole thing to blow over and see how many of my friends survived.

Basically put as many cities, states, and continents between me and the killer/monster as possible.

YOU FOOL! The killer is in the trunk!

 

[the spud]

Just follow these steps:

1. Never, ever imply anything sexual about your girlfriend. Having sex is sure to get you murdered first in any given horror movie.

2. Make sure that your car works. Those things never work whenever a monster is on the way and the car not starting would increase the dramatic tension.

3. Make sure there is nothing you can trip on when running away from the monster.

4. Don't be a jock.

 

[Nouw]

Alien: KILL JOHN HURT! And make sure he doesn't have the 'special.'
Jaws: Stock up on oxygen tanks.
Evil Dead: Spout bad-ass one liners like there's no tomorrow!

In an apocalypse style film, you have to locate the innocent one. Then, grab her and run straight into the horde. Divine intervention? No, it's plot armour!

 

[Clive Howlitzer]

First I would be the black guy and I wouldn't believe any of the characters about the threat. Then if I ran into it, I would run up stairs instead of towards the door and hide in a closet. I might also trip on the way, to throw off the threat. Bullet proof.

 

[Nouw]

thats easy.. be the killer.. you always know even if they kill you you'll be around for a sequel

But what about films with monsters? Are you somehow going to be every single one of them?

 

[Gudrests]

Think of your favorite horror movie, and think of a way in which you would overcome the odds and survive, be it karate-chopping Jason Voorhees or throwing Michael Myers off of a bridge. What would you do?

For me, it would have to be The Ring.

"Hey, I found this video tape at my friends house, let's watch it."

"Nah, I'm kind of in the mood for Finding Nemo."

...Whats a Video tape?...Why do you have a VHS....I'm out of here bro welcome to the 21st century.

 

[sketch_zeppelin]

Stay in a tight nit group of people you can trust with your life. move catiously, and if someone begins to act irrationaly cut them loose.

this applies best for zombie movies but will work with just about any horror movie.