I can't do this anymore

[VinnyKings]

Firstly calm yourself down. No woman should make you feel this way... unless... no no noone human should ever make you feel this way. If she talks to you just ignore her. Make new friends with new people. Forget about her she wasn't worth it and never will be. Don't apologize to her just because you feel guilt. You have done nothing wrong therefore you have no need to apologize. Think about the other things in life you have. This girl isn't worth all the sadness and pain of the world. You have your friends, family and overall a healthy life. Again nothing is worth pain unless it is pleasure.

 

[Stryc9]

Try having another discussion with her, maybe. To keep things fair, you could each take turns talking, not allowing for interruptions.

Also, be sure not to let her disrespect you.

You both need to be fair to each other.

No. This is the wrong answer. He's been FAR MORE than fair to her and every time she treats him like shit until she needs someone to dump her problems on. She is nothing more than a worthless parasite.

The best thing to do is the next time she tries to talk to you, just turn and walk away from her. Don't say anything. Don't look at her. Don't even acknowledge her existence. It will piss her off to no end, trust me, I did this to a ***** that cheated on me and we haven't spoken since no matter how hard she tried to give me some pathetic excuse for her actions. Best thing I ever did, it hurt for a while but I surrounded myself with real friends and moved on.

 

[fatalXception]

Lord Trilby, welcome to the world of love/pain. It's a trial by fire, no two ways about it.
I've been there many times and I feel your pain.

Hang in there, because it does get better. I won't bore you with the details of my previous heartbreaks.

If it helps, some things which, odd as they may sound, I think you will agree with in a few years:

1. She's not evil, but her feminine psyche is just experimenting with how to manipulate men. She is secretly horrified but at the same time thrilled at her behavior...they all do it, some more than others. It sounds horribly cruel but it's just human nature, you absolutely should not take it personally. You need to recognise that what is driving you to keep going back is, to put it bluntly, your balls, or more specifically, what they contain, if you know what I mean. However you as a human hold the power of rational thought and can make a conscious choice to walk away.
The more you keep coming back to her to try to patch things up, the worse it will get. (men do it too so I'm not trying to be misogynistic here)

2. You should sever all ties with this girl and her friends, etc. until you have no strong feelings towards her one way or the other. If you share friends, take some time off from your social circle. Do it cold turkey and remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation...but at the same time don't necessarily burn bridges with people, just walk away for a bit.

3. You will look back in a few years time and the only thing you'll feel bad about is maybe that you posted about it online, if even that.

In the meantime find something wholesome to occupy your mind, not drugs or alcohol; as with previous posters I can attest to the fact that they only make things worse.

Best of luck with it

 

[loremazd]

You can have female friends, you -cannot- have exes be your friends. There are very, very few exceptions to this. If even one of you remotely didn't want the break up to happen it will be a rollercoaster of jealousy and annoyance and apologies.

I have been you before. The sooner you stop talking to her the better it is. It doesn't have to be akward either, you don't have to "break up" as friends. Just stop calling her, dont really talk to her very often, and if she tries to talk to you be civil, but be brief. You'll both move on pretty fast.

And above all else, know this:
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR CHOOSING TO GROW APART FROM SOMEONE.

 

[HotFezz8]

"

quote]

i read through that, but it seems like the only bit worth reading was "The next day I feel like vomiting every time I look at her, so for the sake of my own sanity, I once again deeply apologize to her, which I'm sure will be shrugged off and not accepted"

really mate, i do sympathise. and if i were you i would cry into my pillow and then move on.

seriously. no one who makes you feel like this is worth it. you deserve better.

 

[Khedive Rex]

Try shouting. Walk outside and let out a really good yell, a loud one. Not one of those half yells we're you have the same pitch as if you're shouting but haven't raised the volume of your voice. Those won't help. Go outside and cause a scene. Shout; for prolonged periods of time ideally.

The benefit of this obviously insane advice:

1) Shouting releases stress, tension, angseity and anger while getting your endorphines and adrenalines running. A good long bout of genuine shouting will get all the bad things out and leave you feeling happy, tired and a little drunk.

2) It takes a certain amount of balls to shout in public. Most people can't do it. The reason they can't is because they're afraid other people will think they're crazy, or tell them to stop, or get them in trouble. The fear of defying other peoples expectations is one of the strongest chains in modern day society, and make no mistake it is a chain. Learning to assert yourself and do what you feel like doing without considering what anyone else thinks would be infinitely helpful for you. Countless times you've apologized to this girl for offenses you have no idea you committed. You did this because she wanted you to, even though it pissed you off. Thats not a healthy mindset and, despite what everyone assumes, it doesn't help her any more than it helps you. By learning to shout comfortably in public, you'll get the hang of ignoring people's expectations and behaving on your own whims. You'll sort of have to.

3) Shouting satisfies an emotional side of our selves few other things do. If your feeling upset and you shout, you won't feel upset afterwards. The benefit of this is that afterwards, once the shouting is complete, you can go back into your home and look at your situation logically. You will be far less muddled by your turbulent emotional state and you'll be pumped too full of adrenaline to mope and feel sorry for yourself. In short, you'll be in the perfect position to examine what you want out of life with a clear head. I hope that out of this examination you'll realize that the girl you currently fancy is poisonous for you. That you never felt this horrible before she decided to fuck your life up and that she appears to have no genuine interest in letting up on the bitchiness. As an outsider, my advice is to cut ties with her. When you've finished shouting, embracing this option will be easier.

Those are all the reasons why I advice shout therapy. But seriously, don't just read this and chuckle or think to yourself that it sounds like it might work and you might try it one day. Go out and do it first thing tommorrow. And after that, do it whenever you feel particularly emotionally raw. I guarantee, it'll help.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Tell her what you really think of her, then don't associate with her ever again if you can help it. Proximity to her does not indicate an obligation on your part to do anything more than tolerate her continued existence in silence.

Don't try to debate people like this, and don't appeal to their reason. They don't have any.

I know and have met people like this. They use irrational arguments and never give up, forcing the logical party to give in out of either fatigue or emotion. Again, don't debate these kinds of people. You're setting terms and this is not a negotiation.

Imagine that you're a bank robber, okay? And she's the teller. You have the gun. Okay, that's how you talk to irrational people. You say how things are going to be, then you follow through on that. You don't ever, EVER say you're sorry or take back what you said. Also, don't spend too much time around them. Their kind of thinking can infect you.

 

[Shoukyaku]

Friends are the way to go man, get her off your mind and move on. Girls come and go, but your guy frineds will stick by you and will try and get your mind off it and probably do a damn good job. Anyway karma has a funny way of taking care things like this. If she truly was treating you like crap then she is likely going to have something bad headed her way. So relax and get back into a hobby or exercise.

Also seriously avoid, drinking, drugs, sappy songs, or even talking about this girl, all that stuff serves to reinforce the negative, when you should be building on the positive.

EDIT: The guy immediately above me is right, lol. Once the other person ends up with someone more messed in the head than themselves they immedaitely regret screwing you over. lol

 

[Evil the White]

I had this sort of problem once. A girl dumped me, and then decided that we would be fine to go straight back to 'being friends' immediately after she'd dumped me. I had to block her on just about everything for the next month so I wouldn't end up going crazy at her.

 

[imp_spittle]

No. Nononononononononononono this two-bit slut isn't your friend, she doesn't have the slightest bit of love for you, and she's using your feelings for her against you for her own personal amusement. She's a brain-dead drama queen, a stupid teenager that needs to learn that you don't treat people the way she is. Someone else here said roughly this: she tries to talk to you, you say, "You don't respect me, and I'm not talking to you anymore." Then walk away. End of story. Cut her loose, she's ruining your mind and body, and she's doing it because SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU. She's fucking with you head, and you need to be enraged about this. Enough apologizing, you have done nothing wrong, and you need to shake this leech, this vampire, off your neck and become a new man. Harden your heart to this *****, and she might take the hint.

And stop referring to your emotional problems as "stupid." We all have our problems of the heart; how do you expect us to take them seriously if you won't? Admitted, a video game forum probably isn't the best place to ask for help, but if you're at your wit's end, I can't blame you too much.

Pick yourself up, or she'll keep walking all over you.

 

[Braxis]

Well my friend all i can say is welcome to life with women in it. Im not saying that all women are like that one but unfortunately for all of us a very large portion of them are. As that article says nice guys do ALMOST always finish last.

I used to be a nice guy but after constantly being put in the "friend zone" and such with women i eventually just said screw it. And the strange thing is that after that my relationship with women changed for the better. Not trying seems to work....

Also you should read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Its a really good read and it is actually full of a lot of real advice on how to deal with women.

Just saying.

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

Stab her with a pen, then pull her over to you and kiss her. That should work.

 

[Lizmichi]

Tell her what you really think of her, then don't associate with her ever again if you can help it. Proximity to her does not indicate an obligation on your part to do anything more than tolerate her continued existence in silence.

Don't try to debate people like this, and don't appeal to their reason. They don't have any.

I know and have met people like this. They use irrational arguments and never give up, forcing the logical party to give in out of either fatigue or emotion. Again, don't debate these kinds of people. You're setting terms and this is not a negotiation.

Imagine that you're a bank robber, okay? And she's the teller. You have the gun. Okay, that's how you talk to irrational people. You say how things are going to be, then you follow through on that. You don't ever, EVER say you're sorry or take back what you said. Also, don't spend too much time around them. Their kind of thinking can infect you.

I have to agree with that and also add a few things to it coming from my current bf having to deal with an ex like this. It will help so much just to tell the ***** off. I hate to say it but be nasty about it. She won't get it till you do and I can guarantee she'll be a huge headache when you get another gf. I know this because I am the new gf. People like this are poison and telling her to fuck off is the cure. People like that change you in a bad way and you'll snap at people you don't want to snap at. Talking to friends you trust helps you get over this hump. The faster you get rid of her the better you'll feel. Just say everything you wanted to say to her. People what baggage like that you never want around you at all. Do something for your self. If you start thinking about her hit a punching bag and yell at it like it's her, listen to some hate songs that helps allot and txt or call a friend that can help you through this. And even after you tell her off and she still tries to talk to you tell her off again till she gets it. I hope I helped some. Even if I was repetitive

 

[technoted]

do what i've recently done, throw your phone into a river, set a black on websites like facbook and myspace, block the port for msn and then hide from the world, works wonders

 

[Mad World]

Try having another discussion with her, maybe. To keep things fair, you could each take turns talking, not allowing for interruptions.

Also, be sure not to let her disrespect you.

You both need to be fair to each other.

No. This is the wrong answer. He's been FAR MORE than fair to her and every time she treats him like shit until she needs someone to dump her problems on. She is nothing more than a worthless parasite.

The best thing to do is the next time she tries to talk to you, just turn and walk away from her. Don't say anything. Don't look at her. Don't even acknowledge her existence. It will piss her off to no end, trust me, I did this to a ***** that cheated on me and we haven't spoken since no matter how hard she tried to give me some pathetic excuse for her actions. Best thing I ever did, it hurt for a while but I surrounded myself with real friends and moved on.

No - it's not the wrong answer.

People need to be given the chance to change.

One may say, "She will never change." But, who are we to judge?

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Try having another discussion with her, maybe. To keep things fair, you could each take turns talking, not allowing for interruptions.

Also, be sure not to let her disrespect you.

You both need to be fair to each other.

No. This is the wrong answer. He's been FAR MORE than fair to her and every time she treats him like shit until she needs someone to dump her problems on. She is nothing more than a worthless parasite.

The best thing to do is the next time she tries to talk to you, just turn and walk away from her. Don't say anything. Don't look at her. Don't even acknowledge her existence. It will piss her off to no end, trust me, I did this to a ***** that cheated on me and we haven't spoken since no matter how hard she tried to give me some pathetic excuse for her actions. Best thing I ever did, it hurt for a while but I surrounded myself with real friends and moved on.

No - it's not the wrong answer.

People need to be given the chance to change.

One may say, "She will never change." But, who are we to judge?

Who are we? People who have met folks like her. People who understand their mindset. That's who.

There is NOTHING these sorts of people love more is being given "another chance." When they're in a rough spot, they will promise to do and say anything. But they aren't sincere. They'll stab you in the back the second they get a chance to profit by it.

If she is capable of change, she is capable of changing on her own, without being given another chance by this guy. Let's see the change occur FIRST and observe it over a long period of time, THEN talk about second chances. People who offer chances over and over again to those who do nothing to deserve them are enablers. Their "reward" for being so generous is getting to enjoy the company and abuse of those they treat so nicely.

 

[Mad World]

Try having another discussion with her, maybe. To keep things fair, you could each take turns talking, not allowing for interruptions.

Also, be sure not to let her disrespect you.

You both need to be fair to each other.

No. This is the wrong answer. He's been FAR MORE than fair to her and every time she treats him like shit until she needs someone to dump her problems on. She is nothing more than a worthless parasite.

The best thing to do is the next time she tries to talk to you, just turn and walk away from her. Don't say anything. Don't look at her. Don't even acknowledge her existence. It will piss her off to no end, trust me, I did this to a ***** that cheated on me and we haven't spoken since no matter how hard she tried to give me some pathetic excuse for her actions. Best thing I ever did, it hurt for a while but I surrounded myself with real friends and moved on.

No - it's not the wrong answer.

People need to be given the chance to change.

One may say, "She will never change." But, who are we to judge?

Who are we? People who have met folks like her. People who understand their mindset. That's who.

There is NOTHING these sorts of people love more is being given "another chance." When they're in a rough spot, they will promise to do and say anything. But they aren't sincere. They'll stab you in the back the second they get a chance to profit by it.

If she is capable of change, she is capable of changing on her own, without being given another chance by this guy. Let's see the change occur FIRST and observe it over a long period of time, THEN talk about second chances. People who offer chances over and over again to those who do nothing to deserve them are enablers. Their "reward" for being so generous is getting to enjoy the company and abuse of those they treat so nicely.

Again, we can't judge.

What I recommend: that he have a long talk with her. If she is not willing to be fair and respectful, then he can be done with her.

If Lord Trilby doesn't want to give her another chance, then so be it; it is his prerogative. But, I still see no issue in talking to her. If it doesn't work out, at least he did try.

 

[relish]

You shouldn't think about her. I had the same thing happen to me but gender switched and I was probably the *****.
Haha ironic.

 

[Pegghead]

Get some friends and play some video games you little *****. *Ahem* In all seriousness, forget about her. Go up to her and just say how much you really do hate her. You really shouldn't be "dating" in highschool anyway, and this is coming from someone also in highschool.

 

[lolandrew4]

I know it probably won't help, but the less you care about things, the less chance it can hurt you. That's how I roll and it worked out pretty well so far.