I did somehing rather dumb

[Aurgelmir]

It happened before you were going out with this friend so it should be a non issue.

This is the truth.

Oh and sad to hear you had a rather bad experience while in my lovely home country of Norway

 

[Creator002]

Wait, you had sex in Norway then came home and starting dating a different person? I fail to see why she's upset. Did she expect you to just kind of exist until she wanted to date you?

Unless you were planning on dating when you got back or were already dating, she doesn't have the right to be mad with you, in my opinion. You did it before you knew she was interested in you (I assume) as well as before you were in a relationship.

 

[JesterRaiin]

I thought that is was better to just tell her

And here's where my brain went into infinite "WTF" loop.
What were you thinking in first place man ? What were you expecting ? No, really, please enlighten me what kind of answer you were expecting from a girl after coming clean ?

 

[Olrod]

Uh oh. She's having a tantrum about something you did before you two were even an item?

Yeah... warning bells are ringing there, mate.

 

[Sgt. Dante]

It happened before you were going out with this friend so it should be a non issue.

This, just this.

A great philosopher once siad, "You've got to put your behind in the past."

It's good that you wanted to be open and honest with this new girl, but she has absolutely no right to get mad at you for anything(/anyone) you've done before you were an item. I mean it'd be different if you had a serious criminal conviction or were a practicing satanist or some such, then I could see her worrying, but for (maybe) having had sex with another girl before you were dating, she has no right to complain.

 

[Woodsey]

People seem to be getting angry in this story for no reason at all.

You got laid. Oh noooooo!

Your current girlfriend finds out you shagged someone before you'd been going out with her. Oh noooooo!

Having said that, I don't see why you felt the need to tell her anyway.

 

[wooty]

Its a natural part of life to get completely hammered and wake up next to someone not knowing what happened. To me, its just another "coming of age" trial we all go through.

 

[wooty]

Its a natural part of life to get completely hammered and wake up next to someone not knowing what happened. To me, its just another "coming of age" trial we all go through.

 

[Weslebear]

People seem to be getting angry in this story for no reason at all.

You got laid. Oh noooooo!

It's a lot more than I'll ever get. I'm of the opinion that I have a privilege to get angry, because this guy's effectively gloating about his relationships.

He isn't gloating at all, I think you may just be bitter and seeing it that way. This guy want's some advice not someone moaning on the internet. Demeaning yourself isn't going to help your situation, try being positive and more confident. Would you buy a game if the devs themselves said it was shit? Advertise yourself better.

On topic, one night stands are just a bad idea IMO, and I would avoid getting into those situations. She shouldn't be mad because you slept with another girl BEFORE you dated but it doesn't put you in a good light.

I can understand with her being upset for you having this casual sex so easily, I can guarantee she will worry about it happening whilst you are dating regardless of how loyal you really are. It should be fine when you get past it but she does have right to at least be worried, being angry might be too far though.

 

[JesterRaiin]

Uh oh. She's having a tantrum about something you did before you two were even an item?

Yeah... warning bells are ringing there, mate.

Nope. Some girls (and guys too) are like this, especialy in early parts of relationship. Nothing's wrong with that.

 

[Alrocsmash]

Tell her to get over herself. If you were not dating at the time then you owe her nothing.
I say tell her to get the fuck over it or you will dump her ass. If she is this insane and controlling at the very start of the relationship then it does not bode well for you brother.

Plus if she gets to be too much of a **** over it you could always say "Yeah, its obviously my fault that I was fucking raped!" then storm off. Instant high ground playing the abused victim card.

Pretty much what this cat said. You apparently had NO idea she was into you physically until you got back yes? She can grow up.

 

[DigitalAtlas]

One night stands are just part of life. So the girl is a bit upset you had one. She really has no rationale to be. It was before you started dating.

 

[Rawne1980]

So she's upset because you had sex before you got together?

Damn but thats the most pointless reason to be pissed at someone i've ever heard of.

I could understand it if you had cheated on her but that ... I have no words to express how stupid I find that.

 

[iphonerose]

You could make no logical decisions after having 2 or three beers? what a poor excuse...........
not that it should be an issue with this new girl anyway due to the fact that it was before your relationship had started..but if you do feel bad about it, which you shouldn't, then just feel bad, don't be making excuses about alcohol and 'not remembering it' after three beers..i mean come on!

 

[Georgie Auditore]

I have a slight feeling that you broke it to her kinda badly; I do hope, though, that this came from active discussion and not just a "_____, I have to tell you something.." moment.

No, he just said, "I had sex."

I'm the insane girlfriend that had her heart ripped out by this.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

1. You're having sex, so you lost your right to complain about anything ever.

2. It happened before you started dating. You shouldn't have told her, she shouldn't have gotten angry, and you shouldn't feel guilty.

3. I can't believe I'm posting this again so soon, but here goes:

 

[AnarchistFish]

It happened before you were going out with this friend so it should be a non issue.

/thread

 

[idodo35]

if it was before u were dating it shouldnt be an issue if it is... well she is right to be mad...

 

[Racecarlock]

This is a stupid expectation I like to call "Temporal abstinence". It's one of the most impossible expectations in the history of expectations. The expectation that you've never had sex with anyone before her. How any woman can have expectations like that is quite beyond my comprehension. You two didn't even know each other before now, so how the fuck can you be expected to save yourself for someone you weren't even aware of yet? That's just plain fucking stupid, and I think you should tell her that. You were not in the wrong at the time because you had not met her yet. It's not complicated.

Edit: It appears you did know her before, and I really need to stop skimming because I hate it when people do that to me, so I should stop doing the same. But really, the same thing still applies. If she wanted you to save yourself for her, she should have told you before you went on the trip. Not afterward. Future monogram is possible, past monogamy is not.

 

[Owen Robertson]

So I'm assuming you and your "friend" had some chemistry and/or involvement before this trip, because you don't just wake up one morning and say "I'm in love with my friend." So she's probably angry because she feels betrayed. She assumed that life is a fucking manga and you would finally realize your love for each other after years of sexual tension. Show her the responses to this post, or that fact that you posted this at all. She will find out eventually, they always do. And try not to fuck anymore 20-year old Norwegian girls after metal concerts if you have possible up-tight tail awaiting your arrival back home.