I don't like babies

[gazumped]

Society says as a woman I should gush and be enthralled by them spitting up their food while eating. I especially feel almost broken when there is a baby present and everyone around me is jiggling things in its face and doing "baby talk". Youtube videos of babies doing things reach millions of views and I wonder why I don't have that maternal instinct.

Society says a lot of things about us as women which are bullshit.

Personally I can't stand the things. Nor can my mum, but the biological factor kicked in when she accidentally got pregnant with me. My God-mother isn't into them and nor is my step-mum. (Yes, I have three mothers and they all hate babies. )

A lot of women don't have the urge for the patter of tiny feet. And you've got tokophobia, the fear of pregnancy or childbirth. Figures seem to vary of how many women have it but the most conservative I've heard is 1 in 20, one article I read on it reckons that as many as 1 in 6 women are terrified of having babies. I guess that's more about the horror of pregnancy and childbirth than it is the horror of having a loud smelly thing you have to take care of at the end of it but that's how many people who don't see the 'reward' as worth it...

Spoiler: EDIT: This picture is very relevant, but I don't have enough to say about it to make a whole new post.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Have you tried them on toast?

I prefer them roasted on a spit, but that's just me. Dammit, now I'm hungry.

 

[JoJo]

I don't mind babies, they're pretty cute and do funny things, I have a sister who's 11 years younger than me so I remember a decade back when she was a baby... that said, everyone's different and not everyone has to like them, I would expect most of the Escapist to be apathetic consider the majority of us are under 25, before maternal or paternal instincts usually kick in.

 

[DoPo]

Have you tried them on toast?

I prefer them roasted on a spit, but that's just me. Dammit, now I'm hungry.

You spit on babies? What kind of heartless monster are you?!

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Have you tried them on toast?

I prefer them roasted on a spit, but that's just me. Dammit, now I'm hungry.

You spit on babies? What kind of heartless monster are you?!

I'm a bear. Duh.

 

[Shadowstar38]

I fucking hate babies. Any human being that can't take care of itself is useless in my book, and I shall have nothing to do with them.

Everyone under the age of 8 can fuck off.

 

[DoPo]

Have you tried them on toast?

I prefer them roasted on a spit, but that's just me. Dammit, now I'm hungry.

You spit on babies? What kind of heartless monster are you?!

I'm a bear. Duh.

OK, let me revise my question: What kind of heartlessbear monster are you?! And how do you spit - aren't your lips, like, not capable of that? So do you drool on them or something?

 

[Jamieson 90]

Depends really, if they're sleeping then they're usually cute, but other than that then they're just annoying. I generally find toddlers cute and most kids fine until around the age of 10-11, and then the horrid teenage years start and they're awful, so yeah from around 2-11 they're fine otherwise I don't want to deal with it.

 

[Angie7F]

I dislike children and babies.
But then I recently realised that the blame is not on the babies and kids but more on the adults that cannot bring them up properly.
When I meet babies and kids that are well taken care of and can behave themselves I have a pretty enjoyable experience.
It is the same as dogs and cats. If they are well trained and behave properly, they are really really cute and make great companions.

Thus, i believe that people should have tests and licenses to procreate.
If you are a dumb adult and expected to bring up dumb screaming ill mannered kids, you just should not have babies.

 

[smithy_2045]

Babies = crying and crapping machines that are impossible to reason with. I can fully understand why you wouldn't like them.

 

[IndomitableSam]

29 and a woman. I hate babies. HATE. They're cute under 5 they're supervised by an adult who will clean up after them when they poop themselves. I cared for kids aged 3+ at the school I worked at (Librarian, did the after school program, too), and learned to hate them even more there.

Not a fn. DOn't want a baby. May want a kid 6+, but not babies. Ever.

 

[CPunchMaster]

Hey, I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm super uncomfortable around any child under like... 12? Babies especially, and whenever someone is going on about how much they want one I just kind of have this dumbfounded look on my face.

I've also claimed that babies look like ugly fat Martians.

 

[geK0]

Babies aren't all that great until they actually start responding to their environment (when they're a few months old)

After that, they're adorable.... but newborns are just so boring : \

Having a disdain for children isn't all that uncommon though, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just don't be one of those people who get angry at parents when their children are crying.

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

What?! You don't like babies?! Maybe a baby joke will change your mind!

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Spoiler: Answer

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Ok, in all seriousness, I don't like them either. I don't find anything about babies appealing. I may have a slight paternal instinct, but then my brain tells me "They just had a baby at like 20 years old. Their lives are over".

 

[albedo]

I do find babies to be....creepy. It is that blank soulless stare they give you (and no neck control). Also, I do not find them cute.

Now, once the get to the toddler stage where they can walk then im excellent with little kids and they are a hoot to be around (mostly).

also, I feel this is pertinent to the discussion at hand.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

So when a baby is brought out, I feel pressured to act like I care. I feel like Elaine from Seinfeld when she is around babies. Who else?

Consider this - maybe it's everybody. Nobody actually likes them but they all have to pretend in order not to make the others think they are weird. That would certainly be ironic. Or whatever it would be.

An interesting proposition, everyone so paranoid about not seeming to hate babies by trying to out-do each other in terms of convincing people they like babies.

Personally, I can't stand the things. I don't like to hold them when offered, finding a way to tactfully refuse when offered. I don't think I've ever changed a diaper (because luck) and, I defiantly love my siblings more that they've grown out of being babies. Speaking of: I'm not fond of children either. Children, unlike babies, are at least old enough to know not to be petulant and yet they mostly are anyway.

 

[FrostyChick]

They are loathsome beasts.

I would rather raise a Shoggoth than care for one of those fetid creatures.

 

[solemnwar]

I don't like babies or children. They irritate me to no end. And for some reason people think saying "You were one once!" will change my mind.

Yes, I was one once. I WAS A LITTLE SHIT. Although not NEARLY as much of a shit as children being raised now, jesus christ parents LEARN TO SAY NO TO YOUR SPESHUL CZNEUFLAYKE.

But yeah, I'll probably never have them. Children only stop getting fucking annoying after 16 or so. Unless they're trying to trick me into selling cigarettes to a minor. Fuck off, I do not want a $5000 fine that I won't be able to nearly pay off, especially since I'll also be losing my job >_> /rant


But don't feel bad about not liking them. There are quite a few girls who look at babies and go "SLKFJSL NO 8| /flee".

 

[ohnoitsabear]

OK, let me revise my question: What kind of heartlessbear monster are you?! And how do you spit - aren't your lips, like, not capable of that? So do you drool on them or something?

You could describe it as very angry and purposeful slobbering.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Spoiler

Eh... I find it really hard to dislike the younglings. Particular a crying baby or a kid that's acting out, because jesus christ, they're still free from the idea that they and everybody they care about is going to die one day.