I hate Anime. Make me like it!

[Resonantscythe]

Ghost in the shell is a mature show dealing with politics, the human condition, alludes to international opinions of different matters and deals with the looming issue of what will constitute a human being once we start integrating advanced robotics into people as prostheses. (This is already happening to some extent. blind people are starting to see basic images with brain-connected cameras and new prosthetic arms are also starting to be made to respond to neural impulses. it's just a matter of time before these issues become real)
whether it be the first movie(haven't seen the other two)or the series. Darker than black is a little depressing, but for sensible reasons, and although the action get a little bit much it always keep it from getting to the "that's just too much" point.

Cowboy bebop stays believable but still amazingly cool and deals with a recurring theme of not being able to escape your past.Samurai champloo is another action-y one that stays away from the "that's just ridiculous" stuff and goes for comedy without doing the immature joke-style silly face crap( all the ones I list here except for very very rare, very short examples in darker than black. Only happens in one or two episodes in scenes that can be skipped since they don't add much to the story)

Now this last one is a bit borderline since you said you didn't like deathnote, since it shares the whole inner monologue of a detailed plan thing. Aside from that it's a very character driven show, with (within context) not too crazy action sequences which take a backseat to the conversation, character and plot development anyway.

I noticed while looking back over the thread that these have been mentioned already, so I'll just leave them here for emphasis and add this: The shows you gave as examples for what You did NOT like are categorized as "shonen" shows. That is, aimed at younger kids younger than college age. You'd likely find more luck in looking for shows noted as being "seinen" which aim towards adult audiences which deal with deeper, more mature subject matter. Usually whatever your source for watching these shows will make note of these categories.

 

[koriantor]

Laputa: Castle in the Sky is an old 80's anime film. By far one of my favorites (and one of the best).

It seems more like a story I'd watch as a kid, but it's got some thoughtful undertones. It's a good adventure, wonderful atmosphere.

And hey, the English dub in this one is just fine. You don't have to go watch it in japanese to "fully" enjoy it.

 

[The_Blue_Rider]

I really,REALLY dislike anime. but I also see myself as an openminded person, So I'll try to get into it! to help you help m I'll say what I dislike about anime and what I need in a series to like it. the anime series I have tried to watch is:

Neon Genesis Evangelion, Berserk, Full metal alchemist, Naruto, DBZ, Death Note and some other stuff I can' remember!

So, What I dislike about anime is the art style in general(I have started to not hate it so I can watch it), the over the top action scenes (Combat should not be "OMG HE IS THROWING PLANETS AT HIM!!!" it should be fairly "realistic"), the depressing tone of some of them (I want to be entertained not depressed), the girls voices, the girls HH cups, and some other stuff

What I like in a series: A good story that is very well written, characters is really important, humor, the setting must be good (I don't care if it's steampunk or Scifi or fantasy, etc) and lastly I want something that makes you think. (Good humor series don't need anything of the tings I have stated. As long as it's funny)

So, do you accept the challenge?

You didnt like Death Note? Fair enough I guess, its not everyones cup ofo tea. You didnt like Berserk?? Well once again its not for everyone, But how dare you not like Dragonball Z!!!!



Um i guess theres probably nothing that will really interest you then unless you dig really deep for one you might enjoy

 

[havass]

Just because. Code Geass is an awesome anime.

 

[lordmardok]

no

 

[Wintermoot]

Cowboy bebop it has about 75% fillers but the fillers are interresting enough to keep you entertained it also has a more realistic style then any other anime, the fights are realistic (nobody is throwing planets at eachother or hadokening eachother) and the fights are beatifully choreographed. With the exception of the dag and kid everybody has a interresting story too tell

 

[Wintermoot]

Lucky Star, it doesn't have any big over-arching story or big exploding fight sequences just girls at a high school but it's really good & funny and it's only 24 episodes long, it takes a few episodes to really get good though so don't stop after just one episode!

didnt he mention he hates squeeky voices?

 

[Enigmatic Master]

i try you might like History mightiest disciple Kenichi. it is a fighttype anime but no power level or energy attcks and the character development is pretty good it's fifty episodes and it's on anime season.com

 

[Tsunimo]

You should watch Bacca-

I do and I submit Baccano! to you.

You son of a Ninja...

 

[Enigmatic Master]

i try you might like History mightiest disciple Kenichi. it is a fighttype anime but no power level or energy attcks and the character development is pretty good it's fifty episodes and it's on anime season.com

Also If your going for realism check out high of the dead or Eyeshield 21. High of the dead is good look at what a zombie apocalipe would be like and Eyeshield 21v is about a high school football coming together and making the playoff. I know it's sounds dumb but it well written and very funny with out taking away from the story.

 

[thedeathscythe]

Cowboy Bebop. If you can watch that series and not like anime (and I mean watch maybe 5 episodes to really give it a chance), then I may have some more suggestions but for sure Cowboy Bebop is a must watch.

 

[Hyderm]

someone probably already thought of this but Gurren Lagann. I didn't like anime myself until a friend recommended it to me and I spent 2 days watching the series (its just 2 seasons). It has a few of the things you don't like about anime in it, however they are more incorporated into the story and feel more plausible in a theoretical physics kinda way. (They do throw planets, but it feels more like it intended to... AWESOME!!)
The only female character with big boobs is Yoko, her bust size is the butt of many a joke within the episodes and doesn't feel to overbearing most of the time. It blends humor with realistic angst, not to over the top in my opinion. Any way just my 2 cents in the situation, hope you like it.

 

[blind_dead_mcjones]

What I like in a series: A good story that is very well written, characters is really important, humor, the setting must be good (I don't care if it's steampunk or Scifi or fantasy, etc) and lastly I want something that makes you think. (Good humor series don't need anything of the tings I have stated. As long as it's funny)

i recommend patlabor the movie and patlabor 2 the movie then

both have well thought out plots, character development and interaction, the first patlabor movie has humour, setting is alternate reality more or less feels indentical to contemporary society circa early 2000's but with giant robots used for contruction and demolition roles (glorified cranes and forklifts, but some are designed for law enfocement and military use) both definately makes you think, the second one in particular questioning the nature of scoiety unjust peace vs a just war among other things

bear in mind that both are detective stories so most of the action scenes are regulated to the ends of the films

 

[Premonition]

Go for Pokémon.

 

[Uncreation]

How can you dislike cartoons?

There are other cartoons outside of anime, but i guess you were trying to be sarcastic.


Now, unfortunately, i don't have an anime to recommend, because, much like the OP, i dislike them to. I do have a question for the OP, though: why do you want to force yourself to like them? It's fine not to like things, you know? Hell, like i said, i've never liked anime, and i've never had a problem with that, even though a number of my friends like them.

 

[Danik93]

How can you dislike cartoons?

There are other cartoons outside of anime, but i guess you were trying to be sarcastic.


Now, unfortunately, i don't have an anime to recommend, because, much like the OP, i dislike them to. I do have a question for the OP, though: why do you want to force yourself to like them? It's fine not to like things, you know? Hell, like i said, i've never liked anime, and i've never had a problem with that, even though a number of my friends like them.

I had this mindset about other things to... and it turned out to be false. for example I thought techno was garbage that needed to get banned and now one of my favourite artists are Deadmau5 and Daft Punk, etc, so I decided to give Anime a third chance. And the show Baccano is really good! I like it! but I will never get into it I think...

 

[Asuka Soryu]

Trigun and Great Teacher Onizuka were very good and humorous to me.

 

[Miffmoff]

The OTTness of Hellsing is that he's a near immortal vampire with guns that never seem to have to reload

Its quite gory just so you know

 

[TheDarkestDerp]

Well, I agree. I've been a follower of many anime since the days when "japanese cartoons" meant things like "Superbook" or the Americanized "Tranformers", "Hundred Beast Team Go-Lion" or "Speed Racer", but I agree with you on every point.
Most all modern anime follow very tired formulaic stories, are very predictably boring, despite the ridiculous amounts of over-the-top action, and the art is laughable at best. Every girl is 80lbs and sporting nuclear boobs (yet inexplicably just as strong and athletic as any of the male characters...), every guy is either emo-tastic or "cool and aloof" and built like a wiry serpent with a disappointed sea-urchin on his head, and the plots are either fully uninteresting, horribly overdone or both. The shows expect you to suspend your belief to allow for all manner of super powers, supernatural and spiritual things, but at the same time try to remain grounded in some sort of science, trying to quantify some aspect of the show but at the same time completely debasing another. Dry cliche characters, action so out there it's goofy and tired old stories... Thus I haven't seen much come out stateside since about the mid-nineties I've given a rat's toot about.
My advice is to go a little bit further back in your watchings. Most of the lackluster shows we see today are tired reincarnations of earlier programs which did things solid enough the first time around. A good example, though maybe not specifically what you're looking for, being Urusei Yatsura, the original "Boy followed around by inexplicable circumstances and strangely attractive girls all devoted to making his life insane" anime. Every "Space/Action/Comedy/Romance hybrid owes massive amounts to Urusei Yatsura. It's artwork and animation definitely show it's age, but the style is refreshingly different for me, most of the characters being much more humanoid in proportions and the humor is still enjoyable.

 

[gamepopper101]

Have you tried anime films, not just series? Some of them are epic, artistic and complex in stories. I review anime films in particular as a hobby so I know ones that might fit what you are looking at:

- Tekkonkinkreet: OK granted you may be put off by the art style and the confusing third act but it's a brilliant and complex film about two kids ruling a city against gangsters and evil corporates.
- Perfect Blue: This was the film that got Satoshi Kon (RIP) on the map, it's a psychological horror about a former girl group singer beginning an acting career, but psychologically being tormented by her fans and associates.
- Ghost in the Shell: I've heard Stand Alone Complex is better, but that shouldn't stop you checking it out. It's a sci-fi (kinda) about a group of humanoids who are on a mission to stop a wide spead data hack caused by this one specially programmed robot.
- Almost Any Miyazki movie: This is especially if you like fantasy and well crafted storylines. Granted you may be too old to take Ponyo and My Neighbour Totoro seriously (if you wanted to) and Kiki's Delivery Service is more of a girl's film.
- Barefoot Gen and Grave of the Fireflies: If you like war films, these are your two best choices. Both are set near the end of WWII in Japan, Barefoot taking place in Hiroshima and Fireflies in Kobe. They are both partially based on real-life events and really shows what it must've been like back then. People say Fireflies is a really sad story (to the scary point of people crying there eyes out) but I think anyone can handle it, and it was also the film that got my mother into anime for a while so it works.
- The Girl Who Lept Through Time: This is kind of an interesting Sci-Fi about a teenage girl who one day gets the ability to go back in time by running really fast and leaping in the air.

That is pretty much the basics, give them a shot and you might find something you like.