I hate people. Help me find a job.

[Mr Pantomime]

If you really hated people, youd work on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, like in Australia. Huge cattle stations would be the best fit if your looking for the least people per square kilometer.

 

[StBishop]

If you have money to invest, or can get a loan, become a farmer.

It's bloody hard work but you don't have to see people much.

So, I detest being around people for more than an hour at a time. This has led me to never holding a stable 'normal' job. Yes, finger quotes.

Suggest to me a job that requires little to no interaction with the populous!

Police!

"no interaction with the populace" applies, since once you don the uniform, they're just things to be squashed, shot and sprayed - not "really" people.

The less sense of morality, empathy and intelligence you possess, the better off you'll be. Judging from your spelling, you're a perfect fit for the job on the third count!

Hi, welcome to the escapist.

Don't go in the Basement.

It's against our rules to insult people or "Flame" so I'd recommend changing tack with any further posts. Our mods hit hard, and hit fast.

Also, would you mind pointing out the spelling mistakes the OP made? I didn't see any.

If you quote me (the button in the bottom right) it'll let me know you've replied to this post and I'll get back to you quicker.

 

[careful]

programmer
professional masterbationist

 

[LadyxDevilish]

Mail sorter, you can have them bring the mail to your house, you sort it on adress and they come pick it up the next day.
And the diswasher idea is good too, i actually did that i while myself and you dont really have to deal with people that mutch, just simply a hey or bye here or there.

I am not really the type to give job advice since i dont keep jobs that long but still, those 2 jobs are good for Non social contact.

 

[careful]

sorry but people who say 'just man up and do it' which by that they probably mean 'despite your apparant revulsion or discomfort with situations, you need to engage regardless and since it won't kill you it is technically tolerable and in the long run the gains outwiegh the potential losses' but this isnt useful advice and these ppl dont really understand the predicament. its like being chronically depressed with a legitimate chemical imbalance (happiness and motivations are nothing more then chemical complexes and neuronal health, agree with that or not), and ppl say 'aahh man just go get some exercise and spend time with your friends'. i mean thanks for the thought, but sometimes the circumstances are a little bit more serious than that. but even when someone who doesnt understand your situation gives you advice, you have to at least be a little appreciate, at least they are concerned enough about you to articulate a grammitcally complete thought that agrees with the principles of commonsense.

 

[NiPah]

Vice President of the United States of America, the last one shot a guy in the face and that was only considered a minor low.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Politician? That pretty much covers it.

 

[staika]

I'd hate to say it but I can't think of one thing, I guess you're just going to have to get over it or not have a job at all.

 

[Chromanin]

sorry but people who say 'just man up and do it' which by that they probably mean 'despite your apparant revulsion or discomfort with situations, you need to engage regardless and since it won't kill you it is technically tolerable and in the long run the gains outwiegh the potential losses' but this isnt useful advice and these ppl dont really understand the predicament. its like being chronically depressed with a legitimate chemical imbalance (happiness and motivations are nothing more then chemical complexes and neuronal health, agree with that or not), and ppl say 'aahh man just go get some exercise and spend time with your friends'. i mean thanks for the thought, but sometimes the circumstances are a little bit more serious than that. but even when someone who doesnt understand your situation gives you advice, you have to at least be a little appreciate, at least they are concerned enough about you to articulate a grammitcally complete thought that agrees with the principles of commonsense.

Holy shit, someone open-minded and understanding. Everyone saying "man up, and get over it," you are, at least, part of the reason people like TC exist. You're calling him the misanthrope when you're callously saying "shut up and fall in line, wuss."

 

[spartan231490]

Something on the internet. If talking is ok so long as they aren't near you, some sort of call center. Otherwise, you could just learn to tolerate people like the rest of us.

 

[Tentickles]

Obvious answer:
Grave digger.

Is it odd that I did work for a short time delivering coffins to funeral homes?

I think I'll contact them again in the morning... I did rather enjoy that job.

 

[Tharwen]

Set a timer every hour, then go and sit in the bathroom when your time is up. If anyone tries to talk to you while you're in there, just scream and throw toilet paper at them.

 

[Tentickles]

sorry but people who say 'just man up and do it' which by that they probably mean 'despite your apparant revulsion or discomfort with situations, you need to engage regardless and since it won't kill you it is technically tolerable and in the long run the gains outwiegh the potential losses' but this isnt useful advice and these ppl dont really understand the predicament. its like being chronically depressed with a legitimate chemical imbalance (happiness and motivations are nothing more then chemical complexes and neuronal health, agree with that or not), and ppl say 'aahh man just go get some exercise and spend time with your friends'. i mean thanks for the thought, but sometimes the circumstances are a little bit more serious than that. but even when someone who doesnt understand your situation gives you advice, you have to at least be a little appreciate, at least they are concerned enough about you to articulate a grammitcally complete thought that agrees with the principles of commonsense.

I think I'm in love with you. You hit it right on the nose, my friend.

There are reasons for which I can not and will not be near other human beings for extended periods of time. I'm sure you can use your imaginations to twist my words into making me sound like Im making excuses or lazy or something to that extent...

My reasons are entirely my own and I do not feel like telling them to the internet.

 

[Tentickles]

So, I detest being around people for more than an hour at a time. This has led me to never holding a stable 'normal' job. Yes, finger quotes.

Suggest to me a job that requires little to no interaction with the populous!

Police!

"no interaction with the populace" applies, since once you don the uniform, they're just things to be squashed, shot and sprayed - not "really" people.

The less sense of morality, empathy and intelligence you possess, the better off you'll be. Judging from your spelling, you're a perfect fit for the job on the third count!

I'm going to assume you use that response to all threads on the internet. That way it saves you face on the fact I spelled everything correctly in my original post.

But to your response, I think joining a Law Enforcement body would probably result in a very full morgue for said body.

(Please excuse my bad pun, it runs in the family.)

 

[t3h br0th3r]

You, my good sir, should go into law. that way you can spend your whole career ruining lives and profiting wildly.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Create a humorous online web comic or web series. People have made a modest living in taking their hatred out humanity using creative and funny satire.