I just don't get it!

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

GEAAAH!!!

Alright,
So I have liked this girl for a while yada yada yada- and summer break is approching. If I want to stay connected to her over the summer I need her cellphone number. (She doesn't have a facebook, and that is the only form of long raged communication I can get, seeing as how she lives on the other side of the area I'm in) One problem- Her goddamned jerk of a boyfriend.

This girl is extreamly nice, I haven't seen her be mean to anyone like... ever... (Except for one of my friends who was just a giant dick to her for no apparent reason, and I never saw that with my own eyes)

But the reason I call this guy a jerk is because... Well...

To me this girl is perfect, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, super friendly and nice, funny, unique, everything I want in a girl. Yet this guy that she is dating doesn't think that. They broke up a few weeks ago, and recently started dating again. The reason they broke up is because the guy called her "Overly obsesive"... I'm sorry, but that is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. You have someone that special obsesing over you, and you in term hate them for it? WTF? I mean this guy really doesn't appreciate her. she is just so perfect, and he doesn't aknowledge that.

The main problem with him is I think he has time on target identified me. It is increaseingly dificult to talk to her, because he seems to be around her at the times when I am. (Besides the point in the day where talking to her is almost impossible) The guy still isn't a good boyfriend to her, acording to a lot of her friends I talked to. So why does she keep dating this guy? She wasn't depresed or anything at the time when they broke up, and hell, I bet the only reason he got back together with her was to take away all of my chances...

Another thing is I wrote this note the other day... and quite a lot of my friends want me to give it to her... It just states how much I like her, in apperently a really sweet way. I think I should give it to her on the last day of school, but I just don't know...

So escapist, Halp... Please?

 

[Mallefunction]

Well, tell her how you feel, but don't lecture her on her boyfriend. Don't make it seem like you're the better offer because otherwise she won't even want to date you, thinking that you're only trying to make her boyfriend look bad.

Just talk about you and her, keep the boyfriend out of the conversation unless she brings it up.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Well, tell her how you feel, but don't lecture her on her boyfriend. Don't make it seem like you're the better offer because otherwise she won't even want to date you, thinking that you're only trying to make her boyfriend look bad.

Just talk about you and her, keep the boyfriend out of the conversation unless she brings it up.

Never mentioned him to her before... I Don't plan on it either. So you think giving her the note is smart?

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

-'She wasn't depresed or anything at the time when they broke up, and hell, I bet the only reason he got back together with her was to take away all of my chances...'-

You must be the bees knees, eh?

You think a guy is going out with a girl just to ruin your chances of possibly getting her phone number?

If you're so great, she should be begging you for your number.

Seriously tho, if exchanging numbers is such a big deal, how do you expect to try to court a girl already in a relationship?!

Never said any of that, that is just the type of person the guy is. "If I can't have X, no one can have X!"

 

[starwarsgeek]

Go ahead and ask her for her number so you can stay in touch over the break. Anything more than that is your call.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Go ahead and ask her for her number so you can stay in touch over the break. Anything more than that is your call.

MUST... NOT... PRESS... RED... BUTTON!

But, I do plan to get her number, one way or another. It's that damn note in my drawer...

 

[Lilani]

-'She wasn't depresed or anything at the time when they broke up, and hell, I bet the only reason he got back together with her was to take away all of my chances...'-

You must be the bees knees, eh?

You think a guy is going out with a girl just to ruin your chances of possibly getting her phone number?

If you're so great, she should be begging you for your number.

Seriously tho, if exchanging numbers is such a big deal, how do you expect to try to court a girl already in a relationship?!

I'm with this guy on this one.

You're thinking about this situation from one perspective: yours. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She has a boyfriend. You said yourself that if someone's being a jerk to her, she can stand up to them. If she truly felt like he was a jerk, she would do something. And if he really is a jerk, then it's just a matter of time. She'll have a moment of clarity eventually, or her friends will help her get there. And if or when that happens, you will be there. Not to win her over, but to comfort her, and show you that you will be there if she needs you.

So the last thing you want to do right now is let this selfishness take over. That's right--selfishness. The fact that you want to take away this force of happiness in her life just so you can be happy is completely and arrogantly selfish. If you really do care for her, then don't hurt her. And don't try to legitimize your plans by deluding yourself into thinking the world is out to tear you away from her. At this point, the only person looking to tear anyone away from her is you.

 

[AbstractStream]

Whoa, this is the same exact problem one of my friends is going through...Is that you Bobby?!?!

Anyway, I'll tell you what I told him. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that she deserves better than being treated like crap.
If you feel it's a good idea to slide in some obvious bad comments about her boyfriend and how he's a dick, do it ever so delicately. (I would recommend against it, but it just might work.)

Go for it man...but if you feel like you're "stealing" the girl, so to speak, and it's gonna haunt your conscience, then you know what NOT to do.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

-'She wasn't depresed or anything at the time when they broke up, and hell, I bet the only reason he got back together with her was to take away all of my chances...'-

You must be the bees knees, eh?

You think a guy is going out with a girl just to ruin your chances of possibly getting her phone number?

If you're so great, she should be begging you for your number.

Seriously tho, if exchanging numbers is such a big deal, how do you expect to try to court a girl already in a relationship?!

I'm with this guy on this one.

You're thinking about this situation from one perspective: yours. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She has a boyfriend. You said yourself that if someone's being a jerk to her, she can stand up to them. If she truly felt like he was a jerk, she would do something. And if he really is a jerk, then it's just a matter of time. She'll have a moment of clarity eventually, or her friends will help her get there. And if or when that happens, you will be there. Not to win her over, but to comfort her, and show you that you will be there if she needs you.

So the last thing you want to do right now is let this selfishness take over. That's right--selfishness. The fact that you want to take away this force of happiness in her life just so you can be happy is completely and arrogantly selfish. If you really do care for her, then don't hurt her. And don't try to legitimize your plans by deluding yourself into thinking the world is out to tear you away from her. At this point, the only person looking to tear anyone away from her is you.

Yeah... selfishness... I started liking her completely unselfisly, only wanting her to be happy... but now I question why I despise what is causing her happiness...

 

[Lilani]

Yeah... selfishness... I started liking her completely unselfisly, only wanting her to be happy... but now I question why I despise what is causing her happiness...

I think there might be a hint of jealousy in there. You're just disappointed it's not you she's with.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, though. Get her number and be a good friend to her. If things don't work out with her someone else will come along. I was in a very similar situation not long ago, but now I have a boyfriend that blows the other guy out of the water :3

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

-'She wasn't depresed or anything at the time when they broke up, and hell, I bet the only reason he got back together with her was to take away all of my chances...'-

You must be the bees knees, eh?

You think a guy is going out with a girl just to ruin your chances of possibly getting her phone number?

If you're so great, she should be begging you for your number.

Seriously tho, if exchanging numbers is such a big deal, how do you expect to try to court a girl already in a relationship?!

Never said any of that, that is just the type of person the guy is. "If I can't have X, no one can have X!"

You did say it. The first part of my post are your words!

Your coming off as really self centered here. How dare you tell us what a girl felt during her break up, you don't even know her phone number, how can you expect to know her inner feelings!!

Because I talked to her at that point, a lot. She seemed a lot happier then, too. That guy has done something similer to someone else before. She claimed that whenever they break up, they get back together when she starts getting to know a guy who likes her. Couincidence? I think not.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Whoa, this is the same exact problem one of my friends is going through...Is that you Bobby?!?!

Anyway, I'll tell you what I told him. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that she deserves better than being treated like crap.
If you feel it's a good idea to slide in some obvious bad comments about her boyfriend and how he's a dick, do it ever so delicately. (I would recommend against it, but it just might work.)

Go for it man...but if you feel like you're "stealing" the girl, so to speak, and it's gonna haunt your conscience, then you know what NOT to do.

I don't feel like I'm stealing her, simple because I suspect the guy doesn't really like her...

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

-'She wasn't depresed or anything at the time when they broke up, and hell, I bet the only reason he got back together with her was to take away all of my chances...'-

You must be the bees knees, eh?

You think a guy is going out with a girl just to ruin your chances of possibly getting her phone number?

If you're so great, she should be begging you for your number.

Seriously tho, if exchanging numbers is such a big deal, how do you expect to try to court a girl already in a relationship?!

Never said any of that, that is just the type of person the guy is. "If I can't have X, no one can have X!"

You did say it. The first part of my post are your words!

Your coming off as really self centered here. How dare you tell us what a girl felt during her break up, you don't even know her phone number, how can you expect to know her inner feelings!!

Because I talked to her at that point, a lot. She seemed a lot happier then, too. That guy has done something similer to someone else before. She claimed that whenever they break up, they get back together when she starts getting to know a guy who likes her. Couincidence? I think not.

Look, I don't know why you claim to be friends with her, yet you don't have her phone number.... but I'll help you out because I feel sorry for you.

Get a group of people together to do something, anything, a movie or whatever. You make the plans, then tell her you'll fill her in on the details later. Ask for her number so you can relay said plans later that day. If she says no (in any way, shape, or form), you have your answer, and you've just been wasting your time.

Again, if you're claiming to have talked to her a lot, and never got her number, maybe there is a reason for it. If working up the nerve to ask her, or not knowing how to ask, are your biggest problems, how do you expect to be in a relationship in her?

So in order to know someone you must have their phone number? It's just a weird thing with me, I find CP numbers really personal, probably because I've only given mine out to 5 or 6 people.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Yeah... selfishness... I started liking her completely unselfisly, only wanting her to be happy... but now I question why I despise what is causing her happiness...

I think there might be a hint of jealousy in there. You're just disappointed it's not you she's with.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, though. Get her number and be a good friend to her. If things don't work out with her someone else will come along. I was in a very similar situation not long ago, but now I have a boyfriend that blows the other guy out of the water :3

Yeah, well I liked this girl for 4 or 5 months, and she just randomly started being a huge asshat to me (for a few months running now), and that made me really depressed. Which is where she came along. She is better than the other girl in every way...

Maybe it is the fact she sort of stopped me from uber depression, or worse, that I like her so much...

 

[Kizi]

Ugh, liking a girl that's in a relationship sucks, believe me, I've been there. Definitely the worst time of my life, I almost got depressed.

Anyways, talk to her, tell her how you feel. You really can't try to force her out of her current relationship, it's kind of douchy. (Again, I've been there) Just tell her how you feel, then it's up to her what to do.

 

[Jim-a-Lim]

I maybe wrong here but it seems you want this relationship and her for yourself not because you want to bring something into her life, and that is a broken step to start something on. If you really cared about this girl you would step right out of the situation since she clearly is attached to this guy and is still seeking a relationship with him.

Looking for the perfect girl is not the answer. Being the perfect gentlemen is, just add time.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

I maybe wrong here but it seems you want this relationship and her for yourself not because you want to bring something into her life, and that is a broken step to start something on. If you really cared about this girl you would step right out of the situation since she clearly is attached to this guy and is still seeking a relationship with him.

Looking for the perfect girl is not the answer. Being the perfect gentlemen is, just add time.

You are very wrong. Why I may agree to the point of jelousy, but not this far. I'm blinded from one side, but not all.