I left you because......

[SnootyEnglishman]

You kept guarding the bathroom saying "none shall pass" and i got tired of constantly pissing my pants



*wakes up* hey wait why did you chain me to the chair..what why do you have the chainsaw

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Because we're making a Gears of War live action film.

Why did you go?

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You sponsored too many films made by Uwe Boll *shudders* i despise that man


No no NOOOOO! You've gone

 

[BENZOOKA]

I was only taking a shower. It takes an hour to take off this armor you know.

Why did you do it?

 

[Neonbob]

I was really fucking bored and it seemed like a good idea to leave you in a place that you could not easily escape from while I stole your stuff.

Why did you leave me?

 

[FieryButterfly]

Because you kept lighting my dog on fire and killing all the kittens in the neighborhood!

How come you left me here by myself?

 

[I Stomp on Kittens]

Because you wouldn't wear a mask.
Why did you leave me?!!!!!!??!!?

 

[Neonbob]

You kept smiling in a really weird way while I was sleeping, and refused to get weirded out.
I need that in a partner.

WHY would you leave me? After all I've done for you?

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You keep nuking the whales...that's my job

I look around to see you are not there and i wonder what i did

 

[Neonbob]

You put sand in my coffee every morning for three years, then kicked my dog into a blender.

Why have you forsaken me?

 

[Neonbob]

You tried to throw crap at me.
I can only let you try that once.

Why did you leave me and take the coffee maker?

 

[I Stomp on Kittens]

What you do to whales is evil! And we haven't talked in forever ( and that's just not healthy for a relationship.)
WHY????!!?!??!!!!!

 

[Neonbob]

You are a very bipolar monkey who will not stop stepping on my stash of infants, and your breath is horrendous at all times. I also stole the TV and computer.

Why would you abandon me in my time of need?

 

[Neonbob]

You have been stealing my bullets for the last year and a half, and using them to save people. I could not abide it any longer, as I want to shoot nuns in the face with the ammunition I have worked hard to steal.

Why did you vanish in the middle of the night?

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

You have been severely affected by nuclear radiation. Your fingers are 20 inches in length and you always close your 110 eyes when we make love.

Baby come back! Why did you leave me?

 

[Neonbob]

Your face was too rough for me to kiss anymore. Ever since that fateful accident at the burlap factory, you've been excessively passionate, and my lips and face are completely red and raw. Don't take it personally, I just can't stand to be with you for more than five minutes.
BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING NINJA MONKEY

Why did you leave me while we were reading?

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Well, lets be honest, All you did was sit on the couch and throw soft, red stool at the cat. The house is atrocious and I am at work for 14 hours a day. I am sorry... Kinda...

Why? WHY DAMNIT?!?!

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Since you started smoking crack, We were never able to talk. You were always jittery and spastic. But now I know how to escape you. I will kill you... I really hope you ate those pancakes I made for you...

Why? WHY? WHHHHYYYYY?!?!?!

 

[I Stomp on Kittens]

Dude you fucking shot me!
Why did you lea- wahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Calm down, I'm just going out to get groceries...

Why? Just... Why?