The OP definitely craps all over anything I can provide, however, some fixes for my various bits of hardware:
* Sealing a hole in the fuel line with duct tape on the old Ford Laser - got me 1,100 from South Australia to New South Wales in the 12 hours necessary to make the trip worried my car was going to catch on fire.
* Bypassing all the fuses in same vehicle because they'd all blown and I had nothing but some wires and bluetac to get me off the Nullarbor plane (why I was on that thing in a LASER I'll never know).
* Cleaned the battery terminals with pure water (before I realised that this was actually a good idea)
* Wired the steering column to the dash-mounts so that it wouldn't drop down into my lap while I drove.
* Soldered my PS3 cables back together after they were cut in half by a piece of steel
* The same for a firewire cable (which I still use from time to time).
* Repatched the main cabling in my roof through a junction box so I could electrify my doorhandle.
There's others that I'm sure will come to mind at some point.
The best one I've ever been involved in happened when I was working for a transport company out of NSW, a bloke on the goldcoast had someone put a shovel through the fibre cable (which was mounted near a wall and also carried his phone line) - which would have taken a tech two days to get onsite to fix, so he sat on a pallet for a couple of hours lining the fibre back up *by hand* and electrical taping each strand.
I wish i was fucking joking.
You could hear the clicks as he typed while he talked, and data latency was up about 500% of what we'd expect, but he could do RDP back to head office and do his work from there.