I need some advice

[NiceGurl_14]

Ok escapist community, I could use some help with a problem that I'm having right now. Here's the situation:

OK, I have a great boyfriend and he makes me happy but since I had hung out with a friend of mine that I hadn't seen since he went to college, I noticed that things were a little awkward. I think that I may have feelings for my friend but I don't wanna ruin the friendship that we have and I've known him for soo long that I'm pretty sure that things would be even more awkward if we ever did date. Also, I feel bad because now I feel like I'm not being truthful with my current boyfriend. What exactly should I do?

Any advice would be welcome.

 

[Amnestic]

You should have sex with both of them at the same time.

It's the only way to solve this.

 

[rokkolpo]

You should have sex with both of them at the same time.

It's the only way to solve this.

or bring another girl and tape it.

 

[NiceGurl_14]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

 

[Amnestic]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

Then! Then you think it's a good idea to ask us what you should do? Here's an idea: Go make out with your friend. If you don't feel anything, hey, your boyfriend is the guy for you. If you do, perhaps you don't love your boytoy as much as you think you do.

You want honest advice? We can't give that to you because we don't know you and any advice we gave would be terribly generic, general or ineffectual. This is the same for all relationship threads. We will never have any idea what's going on in the deeper reaches of your heart brain and often there isn't nearly enough information provided to even begin to get a proper understanding of what the two of you are like together.

And I do apologise for what it seems like jumping on you, but this thread just happened to be the straw which broke my camel's back, and I have no money to pay the vet to fix him up.

 

[SkylerRock]

It sounds like you have grown comfortable in your relationship and are looking for something a little different, and since meeting this old friend that desire has transferred itself to infatuation. Perhaps you want what you can't have because you are already involved with someone.

If you pursue this out of lust rather than any genuine feeling then you will only hurt your boyfriend, you will lose your friend, and ultimately you will hurt yourself.

<I agree with the above post though, without actually knowing the people involved all advice will be generic, and in all likelihood useless>

 

[BonsaiK]

Ok escapist community, I could use some help with a problem that I'm having right now. Here's the situation:

OK, I have a great boyfriend and he makes me happy but since I had hung out with a friend of mine that I hadn't seen since he went to college, I noticed that things were a little awkward. I think that I may have feelings for my friend but I don't wanna ruin the friendship that we have and I've known him for soo long that I'm pretty sure that things would be even more awkward if we ever did date. Also, I feel bad because now I feel like I'm not being truthful with my current boyfriend. What exactly should I do?

Any advice would be welcome.

I have posted a serious, reasonably non-perverted answer to this question in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is at the following link ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=14#3738895

 

[NiceGurl_14]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

I'm asking here because there seem to be some genuinely good-hearted people on here with good advice. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think that.

 

[RetiarySword]

You should have sex with both of them at the same time.

It's the only way to solve this.

or bring another girl and tape it.

Both are viable options. Don't forget to link us chaps on the site to the video!

 

[Legion]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

I'm asking here because there seem to be some genuinely good-hearted people on here with good advice. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think that.

Of course there are, but as Amnestic said, we don't know you, your boyfriend, or any level of detail about either of you. It's not possible to give any good, solid advice without knowing more; and to be honest, it's not a good idea to divulge that level of detail with a group of strangers.

He came across as harsh, but he is speaking the truth, there isn't really anything we can help you with.

The problem is that even if we did know you it doesn't get much easier. You are having doubts about your relationship, you might end up happy if you end it, or you may realise you gave up something special for a fleeting feeling, it's something only you can decide and nothing we say will make it easier because there is no right answer.

Here are the choices I see:

Leave boyfriend, don't go out with friend.
Leave boyfriend, ask out friend.
Stay with boyfriend, cheat on him with friend.
Stay with boyfriend, stop talking to friend.
Stay with boyfriend, stay friends with friend.
Tell boyfriend, see what he thinks.
Tell friend, see what he thinks.

None of them are easy, or particularly pleasant because they all involve hurting or lying to someone.

 

[NiceGurl_14]

Ok escapist community, I could use some help with a problem that I'm having right now. Here's the situation:

OK, I have a great boyfriend and he makes me happy but since I had hung out with a friend of mine that I hadn't seen since he went to college, I noticed that things were a little awkward. I think that I may have feelings for my friend but I don't wanna ruin the friendship that we have and I've known him for soo long that I'm pretty sure that things would be even more awkward if we ever did date. Also, I feel bad because now I feel like I'm not being truthful with my current boyfriend. What exactly should I do?

Any advice would be welcome.

I have posted a serious, reasonably non-perverted answer to this question in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is here ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=14#3738895

Thanks for that

 

[annoyinglizardvoice]

I'd need a little more info (how long have you been together, why do you think he fancies your mate etc) before I could make any real judgemnt. If he's a calm, rational bloke, then talking to him in a calm rational way is probably better than getting stressed, but making sure that both of you are calm and rational is important.

 

[DigitalSushi]

DO A BARREL ROLL!.

Erm, sorry, I'm out of idea's, you best bet is to trust your gut instinct since its normally right. You stay with your boyfriend and don't upset the status quo, or you go mad and you may have fun.

 

[katsa5]

First bit of advice: ignore the idiots. But I think you have that down.
First thought: what makes your friend special? Is it chasing after a memory? Or has he become something more since he came back from College?
Next: Does your current Man not have that special quality your friend does? Why or why not?

And to answer whether or not your truthful. Something I learned from being married is that if you're not feeling truthful, whether you are or not logically or systematically, then you might not be. What you feel is what matters. The best way to go about it is to sit down with your Man and talk to him. If he's open with you and nonconfrontational, he's a good guy. If he's not, then one can think about whether or not he's worth staying with. You be the judge on that.

 

[Amnestic]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

I'm asking here because there seem to be some genuinely good-hearted people on here with good advice. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think that.

Fair enough, there's nothing wrong with asking for advice but there are problems with asking for it publicly (as I made clear with my first post) and asking it of people who don't even know you. If you want advice, look around and then PM these good hearted people asking if they wouldn't mind reading your story and giving advice based on what you said.

It's the equivalent to walking into a shopping centre and shouting that you need help with your romance. Oh sure, there will be some people who are kind enough to listen but most people will regard you as terribly foolish.

 

[riskroWe]

What exactly should I do?

Any advice would be welcome.

Every decision is easy if you think in terms of some kind of ultimate goal. What are you trying to get out of all this?

And you shouldn't pick a general goal like 'having children', you could do that with anyone.

 

[NiceGurl_14]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

I'm asking here because there seem to be some genuinely good-hearted people on here with good advice. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think that.

Fair enough, there's nothing wrong with asking for advice but there are problems with asking for it publicly (as I made clear with my first post) and asking it of people who don't even know you. If you want advice, look around and then PM these good hearted people asking if they wouldn't mind reading your story and giving advice based on what you said.

It's the equivalent to walking into a shopping centre and shouting that you need help with your romance. Oh sure, there will be some people who are kind enough to listen but most people will regard you as terribly foolish.

I've actually done something like that though, except it was in one of my classes. I don't remember how we got on the topic but I ended up asking my class about what I should do about my relationship.

 

[Amnestic]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

I'm asking here because there seem to be some genuinely good-hearted people on here with good advice. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think that.

Fair enough, there's nothing wrong with asking for advice but there are problems with asking for it publicly (as I made clear with my first post) and asking it of people who don't even know you. If you want advice, look around and then PM these good hearted people asking if they wouldn't mind reading your story and giving advice based on what you said.

It's the equivalent to walking into a shopping centre and shouting that you need help with your romance. Oh sure, there will be some people who are kind enough to listen but most people will regard you as terribly foolish.

I've actually done something like that though, except it was in one of my classes. I don't remember how we got on the topic but I ended up asking my class about what I should do about my relationship.

Judging by how you're now here asking the same question, logically we would deduce that they weren't helpful enough, which makes me question why you think we'd be any better.

 

[Valiance]

>.> No pervert comments though please. I'm asking for advice about this with all honesty.

Which in itself is a futile act. You're asking an internet gaming forum for advice on your love life when you've provided a single paragraph to describe the vast wealth of history between you, your current boyfriend and this friend you have a bit of a crush on.

Then! Then you think it's a good idea to ask us what you should do? Here's an idea: Go make out with your friend. If you don't feel anything, hey, your boyfriend is the guy for you. If you do, perhaps you don't love your boytoy as much as you think you do.

You want honest advice? We can't give that to you because we don't know you and any advice we gave would be terribly generic, general or ineffectual. This is the same for all relationship threads. We will never have any idea what's going on in the deeper reaches of your heart brain and often there isn't nearly enough information provided to even begin to get a proper understanding of what the two of you are like together.

And I do apologise for what it seems like jumping on you, but this thread just happened to be the straw which broke my camel's back, and I have no money to pay the vet to fix him up.

Saving this in a notepad document and/or bookmarking this page.

I hope you don't mind. I don't feel like trying to explain this any better than you would when what you said suffices fine.

So you pretty much sum it up. We know effectively nothing, and "it felt a little awkward" describes nothing about what OP is feeling towards this person.

 

[Peanut Butter]

Tell your boyfriend what a horirble person you are.