I really need help...

[Glamorgan]

Alternately, you could tell the girl. Tell her that you are in love with her, but that you won't pursue her because she is already in a relationship, and you know it will pass very soon in any case. Be sure to explain that you are telling her this because keeping your feelings to yourself was driving you insane.

This is a really interesting idea. I am actually seriously considering this, but while I'm sure it would accomplisg something, it could easily make things a whole lot worse.

But there's something I really want to know: They're in a platonic relationship at age 14? What makes them different from any other pair of friends then? What defines them as girlfriend and boyfriend if they can not express their love for each other? Do they have this crazy idea that they'll wait until they get married to do anything a pair of sweethearts would normally do? What are they trying to accomplish?

I honestly don't know. No, really, I have no idea. I've never kissed a girl, and never been in anything close to a relationship.
You'd have to ask them. But, you know, please don't.
But from what I have seen, you don't need to kiss, or have sex, to express love. I've seen them together, and I don't know how, but they do. 

Ok man sit down, if yout sitting down already sit down again. Its motivational speech time. I was just like you. Im 16 now and in your position i was EXACTLY like you. Heres what your can do. Your going to look at yourself in a mirror and look beyond the surface, your going to say "what about me do i think i can improve on". Dont say hate, or dislike. When you feel like you need a fresh start, a character overhaul got me on a good path, i got a girlfriend and had way more friends than i did before. I didnt become cooler or try and imitate anyone else. The main thing to take away from this is be more like yourself, if you are not happy with an aspect of you, you can make yourself happy with it by changing it or accepting it you never have to put up with being unhappy with yourself. Ever. You are the thing YOU have the most inlufence over. You can be WHOEVER you want to be! Never accept your not going to be happy with you EVER. Not while you can take steps to make you more happy with you. Thats step one and its VERY VERY important!

Next go to school. Look at your friends and honestly evaluate them. Why do you like them? Why should you like them? Pick your closer ones and talk to them, ask yourself from their position what would they want a friend to be like. Friendship is a little about compromise, before you want them to be good friends to you, be a good friend to them and let it happen. Find like minded people, i met my best friend at some computing club when i was 12, it was nerdy as hell but he has good character. People who are like you will feel a much better bond. Like sports? Or games? Or music? Someone or in fact many people WILL feel the same. Find common ground with some people casually in class and get talking. Your friends dont need to be exactly like you, they just need to see you as someone they can relate to, even if its onyl a small thing like a band you can build a friendship from there.

This year ive decided to get more social with the rest of my year, my plan is to gather a few of my like minded friends and kinda move a little but away from my social group who tend not to like talking to everyone else and put myself out there.

My main point is. DO SOMETHING. You can ALWAYS do something. Never accept your going to be unhappy always try and see what you can do to improve your situation.

The jogging, pure gold. ive started that too and im lifting some wieghts for an hour every night to try and build up my lanky frame. Im going to music festivals and concerts and have met LOADS of people just IN THE STREET who come up to me because of my shirt and wrist band and have a chat to me about it. I also went to a club with a mate on the spurr of the moment. I met some great new people there. Be more impulsive, if you think" hey yeah i could do this itd be awesome!" DO IT. Unless its life threatening... in which case dont.

I can also promise like half of your phycological problems WILL be stress related or made worse by stress. Hopefully the idea your taking an active step in your life will be enough to take a little off you.

I feel your pain dude. Except the fat bit, i was aways skinny to the nth degree and a lanky little twat.

EDIT: My girlfriend also left me recently and im now in love with my mates girlfriend whos not that good to her but you know, dont let that kind of shit get you down. I have a plan and as long as i feel i can control what happens in my life im happy.

I just want you to know, you changed my life. Thanks everyone else, you helped imeasurably, but man, this has helped me so much. Mentally, anyway. It was probably a combonation of you, a few others, and a couple of my friends, but you wrote a heap, and saying this to someone in real life would be kinda awkward...

 

[Diablo27]

I almost know how you feel, except for I'm homeschooled, a year older than you, I'm dangerously underweight, have trouble putting on weight and the guy that the girl I fell in love with is turning 18. Other than that we're almost the same, I hardly see any of my friends even though I have quite a few, and my anxiety developed into agoraphobia and when I got over that I went to Supanova, had a massive panic attack and regressed completely and I'm only just starting to come out of this hole.

Trust me, work on the small things first and eventually you'll be fine. I've been in your position and it's a messed up thing, I got so depressed that it was also anger at some things and when I found out that the girl I love had gone on a date with this guy (it'll probably become something more even though they don't call it a relationship) I was so depressed I couldn't even cry.

He's a cool guy, so even though she's underage he wouldn't try to engage in sexual activity but I've known her for 10 years and even he wonders why she and I aren't dating considering she's known him for like a month?

It's a fucked up, dark place to be in but you have to work through it and not give up. I gave up and went to hospital for it for a few weeks because I hardly ate and just played World of Warcraft until like three in the morning every single night.

I'm still working through all my crap but I'm getting there and this time I won't back down, just never give up and you'll realise that it'll all get better. I hope this helps.

 

[Jonluw]

Alternately, you could tell the girl. Tell her that you are in love with her, but that you won't pursue her because she is already in a relationship, and you know it will pass very soon in any case. Be sure to explain that you are telling her this because keeping your feelings to yourself was driving you insane.

This is a really interesting idea. I am actually seriously considering this, but while I'm sure it would accomplisg something, it could easily make things a whole lot worse.

But there's something I really want to know: They're in a platonic relationship at age 14? What makes them different from any other pair of friends then? What defines them as girlfriend and boyfriend if they can not express their love for each other? Do they have this crazy idea that they'll wait until they get married to do anything a pair of sweethearts would normally do? What are they trying to accomplish?

I honestly don't know. No, really, I have no idea. I've never kissed a girl, and never been in anything close to a relationship.
You'd have to ask them. But, you know, please don't.
But from what I have seen, you don't need to kiss, or have sex, to express love. I've seen them together, and I don't know how, but they do.

You're definitely running the chance of your relationship with this girl becoming awkward if you tell her that, yes. But if you make it absolutely clear that it is a passing thing, and everything will be back to normal in no time, and that you are only telling her this because you could no longer keep it to yourself, and you're fine with her dating this other guy, she will hopefully remain your friend. And if she doesn't want to be your friend after that, she might not have been worth having as a friend in the first place.

But then again, I do not claim to know how your average 14 year old would react to such a confession; so while I think telling her would be a good idea, you would be doing this at your own risk.

If you do decide to tell her, I think it is important that you pull her aside, and take your time to tell her in private; rather than just blurting it out in the middle of a conversation.