I think my boyfriend is developing a WoW addiction?

[T-Bone24]

From a quasi-gaming addict to the girlfriend of another: I play to escape. I play to get away from a tedious existence. I play WoW so much because, well, I might as well as I have no preferable alternative (plenty of friends and that, just psychological hoohah prevents me arranging things and no one seems to want to do anything with me. Sadface.).

What I suggest to you is make life more appealing to him. Find a way to offer him a sweeter alternative. He'll just spiral deeper into WoW if you let it continue and you (not just you mind, friends and family should play a part) should arrange things for him. If he's anything like me, he's waiting for someone to arrange something better for him.

As I know nothing about you or your boyfriend, I can only offer my perspective. Hope this helps.

EDIT:

Use the classic ultimatum "Its either me, or the game"
He's either gonna come crawling, or turn round on his chair and keep playing
If its the latter then he's no good for you

For God's sake, don't do this. He will completely resent you for making him give up something he enjoys for you. You can ask him to limit his time but, please, don't tell him to stop completely.

 

[JeanLuc761]

Use the classic ultimatum "Its either me, or the game"
He's either gonna come crawling, or turn round on his chair and keep playing
If its the latter then he's no good for you

Ignore all the "dump his ass" posts. First of all, you should talk to him to clear things up.
Obviously, you care about him, so don't do something irrational like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRWxkIGTwzQ
Watch the guy's reaction towards the end.

Yeah, avoid going to extremes like these; it never ends well.

Good relationships will require sacrifices and compromises, to be sure, but forcing him to completely give up something he loves will end in complete disaster. Especially if you do what the ***** in that video did; there is no justification for that.

You need to talk to him. I don't care if you need to unplug his computer and hide the power cable until he agrees to listen, but just talk to him. Avoid doing anything drastic and/or irrational as that will almost surely lead to a break-up.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

L
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Ouch. I can't really offer anything that hasn't yet been said. Personally, I think a girlfriend should always come before video games (until she starts to abuse that belief). So yes, try talking to him. Remind him about his past, and have his family communicate with him as well. You could try playing the game with him, but that doesn't solve the problem so much as it feeds it. Sure, you may start out with a system--I'll play with you for x amount of hours if you agree to do y with me--but eventually he'll end up complaining with "Why can't we just play WoW?" In the end, he's going to have to want to stop playing on his own. You and others can only do so much.
If communicating doesn't work and he just gets angry, then I say it's time to leave. There's one other thing you can try, and I hate myself for even suggesting this, but make yourself the "better" option. Try using sex appeal. Where nothing but a night gown when you're having dinner, by some new unmentionables, use your imagination. I suppose you could even try and dress up like a character from WoW. However, I strongly suggest that if you have to resort to ANY of those methods, the relationship is not worth saving.

 

[chynadoll]

I was once a wow widow but luckly my bf got tired of the game after a few month ( dont see how it took that long since the game only involves clicking things). But my suggestion cosplay, have an epic adventure to the bedroom. If that doesnt work then maybe you should ask him to see a shrink

 

[Jaranja]

Just ask him to do stuff with you. If he refuses then you've got yourself a bad boyfriend. My girlfriend has developed a New Vegas addiction and hardly ever talks to me anymore.

 

[Paksenarrion]

First, ask yourself, "Why am I with this person?"

If you find that he is no longer the person you fell in love with due to his addiction, try the ultimatum.

 

[Danzaivar]

keep an eye on how long he plays for, if at any point things go from the sublime to the ridiculous and he does start spending like 12-18 hours on it then scratch his disks in the night and when he gets all angry 'cos they're not working

Erm, you don't need to use the disc when you play WoW. Guess it would annoy him if he needed to reinstall it though, of course he could just download the whole game anyway so wouldn't stop him.

 

[sms_117b]

Addiction to games and WOW's reputation are the two reason I don't play it.

It's just a very easy game for people who wish to escape to do so thanks to it's reward mechanism. If you're mentally healthy and stable there's nothing to be afraid of. I played it myself for quite some time just like any other game and plenty of folks do the same.

I am neither. So have a lot to be affraid of.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

SNIP

WoW = Addiction

Time to find a new boyfriend

Talk to him about it. If he values the game more than he values you, you deserve better.

Oh hey, fresh meat a new user!

[HEADING=1]Welcome to the Escapist![/HEADING]

Stay out of the basement, give monthly tributes to the mods, don't be an ass and have fun! I will post links to articles you should read about how we do things here.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.112832-The-Banhammer-and-You-A-Users-Guide-to-the-Forums

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.116827-These-forums-and-you-Forum-Posting-Guidelines

I'm sure you'll enjoy it here, I know I have

[sub][sub]But anyway, good luck with your Boyfriend. If he has any sense, he'll listen to you.[/sub][/sub]

 

[Iznat]

Talking to him is best.

If you talk to him, and guilt him like all good women do to men, and he keeps playing for ridiculous amounts of time, try some tests.

Take away all the snack food from the house.
Wander around nekkid.
Turn off the wireless router when you're going to bed so that he comes too.

If he flat out refuses or ignored you, dump his ass.
Or at least threaten to.

Playing WoW is fine and all, but my Christ there is nothing more annoying than being ignored for it. Don't take it from him, and let him know how you feel.
If it persists, there's parental controls and more guilt tripping.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

If he has had it for more than a few weeks and refuses to take a few days out from it where isn't allowed to mention it then you might have a problem. It can take years of playing for 10+ hours a day for people to get to the point where they decide by themselves that these games are not a great way to spend time.

 

[Jon Shannow]

I came back down from Uni a few weeks ago to find that my younger brother has an addiction to WoW so i decided not to be helpful and throw pencils at him and beg him to defend me from the orcs

 

[direkiller]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Is he playing it while your over?

is he turning down dates to play wow?

grades/job, RL buddys slipping(more then they should be)?

(if yes to any you have a problem)
if not 4-5 hours on games if your doing nothing else isint too bad. If your mad that he isint spending those 4-5 hours with you then give him some space to play his hobbys.

 

[Peteron]

4-5....not too bad. However, I would watch it if that becomes more. I used to play the game, I would know. Welcome to the Escapist! I hope you decide to stay on the site!

 

[rokkolpo]

Get him to do things with you that are more fun then WoW.

Go out more and get him a hobby that is as addictive but healthier and easier to get out. like catching butterfly's.
or a fight sport.

gaming is easier to overcome than most think by finding something of equel value.
because stopping WoW all of a sudden can hurt people.

 

[DYin01]

Sadly, some people really get addicted to WoW or other games. Keep an eye out for it and as soon as something starts itching, talk about it to him. He might not take your worries to heart the first time around but at least it's out there then. My girlfriend once had a boyfriend who played WoW so much he lost eye for her completely. It's not a happy story. She put in a lot of effort to make it right again but he just kept going back to WoW so eventually she had no other choice but to break up.

Don't let it slide. Make sure you're more important than his gaming.

 

[PurplePanther]

Thanks for all the replies guys I've read all of them.

I'd never dump him, no matter how bad this gets.
If I said it's me or the game I have no doubt he'd choose me but as some people have pointed out I don't want to take his game away from him completely.
Taking everything into account, I think I'm going to tell him I'm worried due to his previous addiction and make him see I'm not over reacting, then try and agree on some sensible time limits. If he needs further persuasion to log off then I may do as several of you have suggested and resort to something more crude lol.

Pleasantly surprised at the number of responses it's been a huge help getting some different perspectives