I think we should break up.

[Mutie]

I broke up with my Girlfriend after i caught her cheating. I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to that (And it old her as much), so i pretty much told her she had until the same evening to pack up her sh*t and leave. The difficult part about the whole thing wasnt the "breakup" itself, but the Drama afterwards. I had to organize i drive home for her, since she couldnt reach anyone. She cried on the whole trip to her parents, apologized, made drama. I ignored all of it, i just wanted her to get out of my sight asap. After we arrived, her mom tried to make a scene, which i simply ignored and then drove away. In hindsight, it may have been a mistake to act completely indifferent to the whole thing, it gave them ample room to find reasons that the whole thing was actually _my_fault.

I was set on never meeting the girl in question again, and just wanted to move on. But neither my nor her friends could jsut let it go. It started with SMS, Mails and Skypechats, where a hundred different people would nag me to "just talk to her maaaaan!" and saying that we were too good a couple to break up. It annoyed me immensely, but i was still set to not lash out, so i justignored most of it. It got out of hand when she started to contact me too. The whole thing eventually resulted in me loosing my sh*t, calling her a bit*h in public and telling a lot of my "friends" (Which were actually hers, seeing how they started to side with her more and more too) to fu*k off and leave me alone. After that, the whole group agreed that i must have been a horrible boyfriend anyway and it was a good thing she got "away" from me.

I honestly couldnt have cared less towards the end. The only difference it made was that i not only got rid of a shitty girlfriend, but also of a few shitty friends. It was like getting healthy again after a particularly harsh sickness.

Unfortunately, the male will always be the bag guy. That is simply how it works. I had to break up with my last lass cause A. She was so damn unintelligent it became extremely difficult not to do laps around her in conversation and B. She fully nested in my house, didn't leave for 3 weeks on end and only ever wanted to do it when I didn't have awt the sheath my sword in... I didn't even break up with her, just told her she had to go home for a bit and give me some space after she'd been all shitty with me for no reason, THE DAY BEFORE I STARTED A MONTH LONG SET BUILD FOR MY FINAL PIECE. Didn't speak to her for one day cause I was busy and next I hear we've broken up... So... Yeah. Awesome? It still hurt like Hel, but it always will. I've just given up on it all now. The only people I actually care for just lead me on and treat me like some kind of emotional entertainment and the only people who care about me just simply don't understand me in the slightest. It's horrible.

 

[windlenot]

i think you just need to work out the best way to end it.

Best of luck, man.

Thanks plenty for the advice, friends. It's something I think I needed, extra reassurance, maybe.

 

[LegendaryVKickr]

Well, my girlfriend just broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, right after I started my new school. Without any of my old dorm friends for support, it's been somewhat of a bumpy road. A lot of phone calls, etc.

She lives in NY city, me a small town in CT. we'd been dating for 8 months, and she broke it off because she's starting a trade school in which she goes straight from 9-5 every day, and has to spend her free time studying. She didn't even see her own mom on a daily basis, and she said she didn't want to string me along with me expecting to see her if she didn't have any free time. It hurts, and it sucks, but I do respect the way she did it. She also has a history of domestic infighting, and her dad was abusive, so she worries about her future, told me straight up she was afraid of marriage. But she specified I did nothing wrong, I was a great guy, I took her virginity, and I'm currently the longest relationship she's had. It hurts her too, we both still have feelings for each other and she's not completely opposed to starting up a relationship with me again when it's easier. But in the meantime she encourages me to find somebody closer to home. And now she's one of my best friends, which is still pretty cool, and we talk each other through the breakup and use each other for support.

Don't mean to sound like a dick, but this thread is helpful to me, seeing it could have been way worse off. She didn't die, never cheated on me. Heck, she went to an Aaron Carter concert, and thought I'd be upset when he gave her a cheek kiss. She felt bad when guys hit on her, rather than the other way around. She could never bring herself to cheat.

 

[Proverbial Jon]

I went out with one of my really good friends once. I'd just found out that I was a furry and then subsequently that she was too, only she'd been too scared to tell anyone before. Then we just connected on a level I had never seen before.

We were together for a year. We went away for a holiday together and midway through I suddenly just stopped feeling anything for her. It was a horrible feeling because I had no control over it. I waited until the end of our holiday and told her when we got back. She hasn't spoken to me since and that was a couple of years ago.

She lives about 60 miles away so I don't exactly bump into her regularly. But I really miss her and wish we could be friends again. I honestly feel like I broke her trust, which was (obviously) a very strong part of our relationship. She told me things she had never told anyone, not even her super close friends and even though I broke up because continuing would be even worse, I still think she felt betrayed.

The funny thing is, I was making this present for her for our "1 year anniversary" which involved finding a four leaved clover. I hunted high and low for ages before I found a rather weedy but genuine specimen. On our holiday she simply found one by chance in a lay-by when we stopped the car. I was devastated and looking back I kinda see that as the beginning of the end. I'm not normally one for such predetermined nonsense but it was a curious harbinger all the same.

 

[Poetic Nova]

Well let me share my most recent brake up with you guys.

After a few months the cracks already started to show in the relationship, up to the point that my trust in her was started to fade. The idiot that I was, I told her what my sexuality is (Bi, which only a handfull of people know) and that I used to like a dude which I hanged out with a few years ago which I shouldn't have done. Fast forwarding a few months, our relationship came to the point of not holding out anymore and she tried to manipulate me, trying to prevent me from breaking up with her that "everything will be allright, I still love you" nonsence while she started to see another dude.
On the evening that I broke up with her after getting tired of her lies (which was at a concert) she thought it would be funny to scream out (almost litteraly) what my sexuality is and about the dude I liked, who was a few metres away from us.
She's thought that saying sorry and such would help, after she found out it didn't she started to guild trip me which also didn't work. After all that nonsence she started to lie about me behind my back, which I found out via some of her friends.

This is actually the first time I'm so open about this honestly.

 

[thiosk]

I know the relationship seems deep and meaningful,
but as soon as I saw "school dance" ...
all I can say is live, learn, love, and don't stress out about anything that happens prior to 18 because everything else is SRS BZNESS compared to this.

 

[Abomination]

You're at high school, brother. Screw looking for relationships, just go for having lots of (safe) sex and a good time.

Now's the time to learn how ladies tick and the best way to do that is to sample many ladies.

 

[Battenberg]

When I started university I was in a relationship that was already past its prime (my own fault) and it disintegrated as a result. Me and my girlfriend-at-the-time, gfatt for short , had broken up a year before this because she was going elsewhere for uni and we didn't think a long distance relationship would work however foolish hormonal teenager that I was I didn't take it well and instead convinced her to give it a go anyway. Needless to say neither of us were happy and a year later when I was starting university it fell apart pretty quickly.

During freshers week I kissed a stranger (scummy I know but in my defense it turned out my hallmates had been spiking my drinks with vodka all night). The next day I felt pretty bad about it so I called my gfatt to tell her and apologise but as it turned out she didn't care. In her own words she wouldn't have cared if I had slept with someone else. Putting aside how suspicious it was that she would be so forgiving abot infidelity (it really didn't fit with her character and she's just had her first year of uni where I know she made several male friends) I pointed out that it suggested maybe we weren't as in love as we (or possibly just I) thought and it unravelled from there. A relationship that had cumulatively covered several years ended via a phonecall in a parking lot.

To add insult to injury I was standing in an empty parking space which not 1, not 2, but 3 different cars went to park in but at the sight of me (I was in tears at this point) drove elsewhere instead. And then even worse within less than a week of this my ex-gfatt was in another relationship which, between hormonal stupidity, pride, and anger that our relationship meant so little to her she could move on so quickly, led to me effecively cutting all contact with her. It's kind of sad since we had been great friends before we got together and up until that point I wanted us to remain friends but I haven't spoken to her since then (3 years ago).

Anyways that's my tale of woe. My own fault in many ways but if nothing else I certainly feel like I learned a hell of a lot from that experience.

 

[McMullen]

I broke up with my Girlfriend after i caught her cheating. I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to that (And it old her as much), so i pretty much told her she had until the same evening to pack up her sh*t and leave. The difficult part about the whole thing wasnt the "breakup" itself, but the Drama afterwards. I had to organize i drive home for her, since she couldnt reach anyone. She cried on the whole trip to her parents, apologized, made drama. I ignored all of it, i just wanted her to get out of my sight asap. After we arrived, her mom tried to make a scene, which i simply ignored and then drove away. In hindsight, it may have been a mistake to act completely indifferent to the whole thing, it gave them ample room to find reasons that the whole thing was actually _my_fault.

I was set on never meeting the girl in question again, and just wanted to move on. But neither my nor her friends could jsut let it go. It started with SMS, Mails and Skypechats, where a hundred different people would nag me to "just talk to her maaaaan!" and saying that we were too good a couple to break up. It annoyed me immensely, but i was still set to not lash out, so i justignored most of it. It got out of hand when she started to contact me too. The whole thing eventually resulted in me loosing my sh*t, calling her a bit*h in public and telling a lot of my "friends" (Which were actually hers, seeing how they started to side with her more and more too) to fu*k off and leave me alone. After that, the whole group agreed that i must have been a horrible boyfriend anyway and it was a good thing she got "away" from me.

I honestly couldnt have cared less towards the end. The only difference it made was that i not only got rid of a shitty girlfriend, but also of a few shitty friends. It was like getting healthy again after a particularly harsh sickness.

Not that I would tell anyone to stick with someone who's cheating on them, but phrases like "zero-tolerance policy for cheating" and your later actions do kinda make it seem like they might have had a point. You may have had a legitimate grievance, but that doesn't mean you had to handle it that way.

 

[ERaptor]

Not that I would tell anyone to stick with someone who's cheating on them, but phrases like "zero-tolerance policy for cheating" and your later actions do kinda make it seem like they might have had a point. You may have had a legitimate grievance, but that doesn't mean you had to handle it that way.

Could you elaborate? Like i said, i got her home to her parents after the thing and then left. Considering she broke the _one_ thing i told her that would hurt me beyond repair, i think that was the nicer approach.

If you refer to me lashing out later tough. That was after almost a month of constant messages and stalking in general. (Heck, she and her mom showed up where i work!) I didnt really see any other way than telling them to just fu*k off and finally leave me alone. If this qualifies as being a "horrible boyfriend" then indeed i am.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

I guess my "that was shitty of her" story was my ex-fiance. We'd been good friends with each other since 6th grade and had been dating for a few years around freshman year of college. I put a down payment on an apartment in another state (that she lived in), and was packed up and ready to move down there to live with her in a week. We got tattoos instead of rings as well. About a week before I was about about to move, I got an e-mail saying that she needed to experiment and enjoy college fully and not tie herself down to one person while all of college was ahead of her or whatever, and to not try and contact her because it would be too painful. I tried anyway, never heard anything back. That was the last communication I ever got from her. The shit part was that I lost a close and dear friend in the process, literally as if two relationships vanished that day.

Buuut, that doesn't matter now. I spent a couple years getting my shit back together (after just as much time breaking it apart), and I met the actual love of my life. We're married and my daughter is going to be born next January. So thank you ex-fiance, your last gesture of friendship was setting me free to end up finding someone who would never just walk away.

On the other end of things, I've only ever broken up with a chick once. We hung out a bit, decided to date for about a week, and that's when I found out she was addicted to psychedelics and totally wanted me to be violent with her. Noooooooope.

 

[Fox12]

You didn't do anything wrong. If you left her to build a relationship with someone else, fine. Now, if you persued someone ele while you were with her, then that would be a different story, but that's not what happened. She overreacted at the dance, and so did her cousin. You had every right to be there, just the same as her.

 

[Strazdas]

I dont think you need to give her more closure. she not only acted like a ***** afterwards but also invovled her cousin that you never even saw before, avoid if possible.

 

[McMullen]

If you refer to me lashing out later tough. That was after almost a month of constant messages and stalking in general. (Heck, she and her mom showed up where i work!) I didnt really see any other way than telling them to just fu*k off and finally leave me alone. If this qualifies as being a "horrible boyfriend" then indeed i am.

Hm. Them showing up at your work is a bit weird. Fair enough.

 

[LetalisK]

Wow. Thank you, everyone, you've reminded me just how incredibly lucky I am to be married to my wife and not out still looking for a diamond in the pile of shit that is dating life.

Every once in awhile I get nostalgic for the "good ole days" until something slaps me and reminds me that the good ole days actually sucked ass.

 

[Church185]

I'm in an interesting boat with this one... I'm in a relationship I'm not particularly happy with. It's existed for 3 years now, but being at college away kind of made me more apathetic towards the relationship as opposed to being upset by it. I'm stuck between attempting to break up or not, as the girl is a depressive who doesn't have that many friends and I stand to be one of the very, VERY few. I don't break up for fear she'll do something terrible to herself, but I am trapped in a relationship based on guilt.

I should really end it, but I haven't the foggiest idea how and when...

It would probably just be best if you got it over with. I was in a similar situation with a girl that was depressed (and depressing) 24/7. I did my best for the couple months that we dated to cheer her up and change her outlook on life, but she never budged an inch. Towards the end she would threaten to kill herself all the time if I didn't drop what I was doing to go see her. One night I decided to hang out with my cousin and play BF3, and she gets pissed because in her mind I should have called her instead to do something. She threatened to kill herself again, I said "GOOD" and hung up on her. I haven't spoken to her since, but I've seen her around town. My local Gamestop hired her for a little while (despite my warnings that she was unhinged), but eventually fired her because she was mopey and depressing at work.

Moral of the story, things probably aren't going to get better and you have to think about your happiness.

 

[Church185]

Could you elaborate? Like i said, i got her home to her parents after the thing and then left. Considering she broke the _one_ thing i told her that would hurt me beyond repair, i think that was the nicer approach.

If you refer to me lashing out later tough. That was after almost a month of constant messages and stalking in general. (Heck, she and her mom showed up where i work!) I didnt really see any other way than telling them to just fu*k off and finally leave me alone. If this qualifies as being a "horrible boyfriend" then indeed i am.

Meh, don't listen to them, I wouldn't stand for it either. There are too many other people out there with the potential to treat you better to waste more time on someone who would take advantage of your trust.

EDIT: You were more noble than I would have been. I would have thrown everything she owned out and made her to hitchhike to where ever she was going.

 

[ERaptor]

EDIT: You were more noble than I would have been. I would have thrown everything she owned out and made her to hitchhike to where ever she was going.

We live pretty far out on the country, so it could've taken a while until she got anywhere. Besides, nvm what she did, if something happened to her on her way back home or whereever she would have went, i'd feel responsible. And i like to keep my hands and also my conscience clean of stuff like that. Just ebcause she did, i dont have to step to new lows.

 

[Church185]

We live pretty far out on the country, so it could've taken a while until she got anywhere. Besides, nvm what she did, if something happened to her on her way back home or whereever she would have went, i'd feel responsible. And i like to keep my hands and also my conscience clean of stuff like that. Just ebcause she did, i dont have to step to new lows.

To each his own, but I know that I'm not above it. I wouldn't hurt her, domestic abuse is despicable, but at that point I don't feel responsible for her well being anymore. There is always SOMEONE they could call, perhaps their other lover for example.

 

[Rylot]

I dated my first girlfriend for about a year before she dumped me. I was a senior in high school and it was coming for a while; we'd just grown too far apart, I had too many things going onto devote the kind of time she was looking for. The break up itself wasn't what pissed me off as much as the timing. For spring break I went with my Japanese Language class to Japan. I bought a full on Kimono for her with a sash, hair clip, sandals and socks, the whole works equaling a little over a hundred US Dollars. About a week or so after I gave her the stuff and about a week before prom she broke up with me. I've also been broken up with over email.

My current relationship of 2.5 years is going south pretty quick. It might be time to start planning for where to live after this one goes down.