I want to try alcoholism. Where do I start?

[fOx]

Hey guys.

Recently, I got the urge to try alcoholism. I've only gotten drunk once or twice in my life, and it made me really happy. I found that I am a happy drunk, and become much more outgoing and personable when intoxicated. I'm also just happier overall.

The problem is that I really hate the taste of alcohol. Furthermore, for whatever reason, I don't get drunk very easily. It takes a lot of alcohol to get properly drunk, which is a problem for me, since I hate alcohol. While I'm curious to try getting into alcoholism, I feel really over my head. There are a lot of different types of alcohol, and different brands. It's overwhelming. Gin, beer, whiskey, rum... frankly, I don't really understand the difference, and I hate the taste too much to try.

So I was wondering if you guys could give me some recommendations. Are there any kinds of alcohol that actually taste really good? Or alternatively, that can get you drunk really, really fast, so I don't have to drink much of it? Any advice is greatly appreciated. And don't worry, I plan to be a functioning alcoholic, since I'm pretty focused on my career right now.

Thanks!

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

Morphine is better. But pros aim for both.

 

[BrawlMan]

Are there any kinds of alcohol that actually taste really good?

Seagram and Smirnoff Ice. They have alternative flavors as well. Rose wine has great tastes too.

 

[Dalisclock]

Any hard liquour will get you drunk fast, so you can start there if faster is better.

Maybe buy a bunch of those little bottles at the liquor store so you can try out a bunch of different types without the large bottles of stuff you might not enjoy?

The tricky part is finding the kind you like and the only way I'm aware of is try stuff until you find something that works.

Me telling you "Porter is good" doesn't help if you find beer gross.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

Morphine is better. But pros aim for both.

Diamorphine is the winners choice.

OP, try Woods Navy Rum. 57%

Wood's 100 Old Navy Dark Rum 70cl

Wood's 100% Old Navy Rum is the original formula served on navy ships-a high proof, dark formula that's bracing, but awesome. Made from molasses derived from Guyanese Demerara sugar, this richly-flavoured dark Rum is a great mixer, bringing heavy notes of

www.thedrinksbasket.com

I have never blacked out on any alcohol before. Absinthe, soviet era russian vodka, special brew, I've been really fucked but have always remained semi conscious at least. I drank maybe a half of a bottle of this stuff. I remember getting up to leave the party. I woke up in bed with a young lady straddling me. I have no idea how I got there or indeed how I managed to get it up while being essentially unconcious, but there you go. Anyway, on the basis of this I recommend Woods Navy Rum. Mix with pineapple, mango, passion fruit and orange to make it more palatable.

 

[gorfias]

I think I was a behavioral alcoholic. I could function fine without physical problems when not drinking. But I wanted to drink ASAP each evening. A sideways doctor's appointment broke me of that. I don't advise getting yourself into that kind of thing. Have your fun but don't let it run your life.
ITMT: A perfect gin martini tastes like water to me. Easy to take, but I want to taste my gin, so I hold the vermouth. Another easy butt kicker is 100 proof spiced rum mixed with vanilla coke. Very strong, tastes like a kid's beverage.

 

[Baffle]

I think I was a behavioral alcoholic. I could function fine without physical problems when not drinking. But I wanted to drink ASAP each evening.

Yeah, this is pretty much where I was: no chemical addiction but a behavioural pattern that revolved around drinking too much and too often; things like making plans work around whether I would or wouldn't be able to drink, or being smashed by 6pm and realising that was my evening over and I'd only finished work about an hour ago. Bad times and I can't say I miss it at all.

OP: (a) don't do it, it's a stupid idea if you don't actually like booze; (b) alcopops (not Hooch, which is disgusting but also what set me on this road about 30 years ago).

 

[Phoenixmgs]

Drink on an empty stomach, it's takes far less to get buzzed (which is all I aim for). Go for the "girly" drinks, they taste the best. I get drinks that cover up the taste of alcohol, I always go for mixed drinks like long islands (lots of alcohol but tastes good somehow) or something like a blue Hawaiian or like a Mike's hard (the apple pear is awesome). I hate beer so much and really don't care for anything straight like whiskey outside of Fireball.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I don't drink, but this looks nice, if rather fancy:

 

[Worgen]

Just order some cocktails. They can taste pretty good and depending on the place, might be watered down so a possibly strong one won't kick your ass. If you are unsure of your tolerance, don't order a margarita at a mexican place.

 

[Baffle]

Oh, Four Loko.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Alcohol enema - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I believe this is the solution you are looking for.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

Alcohol enema - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I believe this is the solution you are looking for.

Amateurs, IV is the only way to fly.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Amateurs, IV is the only way to fly.

It may be more effective, but a tampon soaked in alcohol is easily acquired over the counter and you can even do it at work and no one would ever know.

Also, I can only imagine the results of someone under the influence of alcohol attempting to pierce a vein. Bound to be messy.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

It may be more effective, but a tampon soaked in alcohol is easily acquired over the counter and you can even do it at work and no one would ever know.

Also, I can only imagine the results of someone under the influence of alcohol attempting to pierce a vein. Bound to be messy.

You can say the same about pins, just got to lock the toilet door, which honestly you should be doing anyway*

Sadly, the latter is actually very common.



*Just to be clear, I don't actually think injecting alcohol is a good idea.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

So I was wondering if you guys could give me some recommendations. Are there any kinds of alcohol that actually taste really good?

Try a White Russian, it's just vodka, cream, and coffee liqueur. Cheap to make, and the coffee liqueur makes it sweet and the cream means there's no alcohol burn to it. Varying on the amount of vodka you add to it can make it stronger and therefore get you drunk faster.

Finally, champagne (or any sparkling white wine) tends to get people drunk pretty quick even though it doesn't have a very high alcohol content. The carbon dioxide causes the alcohol to reach your bloodstream faster.

Or alternatively, that can get you drunk really, really fast, so I don't have to drink much of it?

Try butt-chugging?

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

*Just to be clear, I don't actually think injecting alcohol is a good idea.

It's a really, really bad idea. Fatally so in many cases.

 

[Piscian]

As a high functioning alcoholic, like the kind where your work knows its happening but you get on outage bridges like Quint from jaws, drunkenly guiding children through how to troubleshoot ospf neighbors not reaching full exchange state, I can tell you that you are looking for two alcohols - Vodka, specifically Titos or Reyka or Rum "Bacardi". They themselves at worst taste like hydrogen peroxide, but they have no specific flavor. They are literally designed to be tasteless and inoffensive. The correct mix is one third vodka or rum to whatever you are drinking and its difficult to fail.

one third vodka to whatever bitter or tangy drink you like. So for example one third vodka to coffee or otange juice. Its best not to mix vodka with drinks that are overly sweet like vodka end pepsi or coke end up being sickly sweet. Think of vodka like salt & caramel.

Rum on the other hand can pretty much mix with anything. Rum milkshakes, coffee, sodas juice whatever it works. In all honestly if you dont understand alcoholic mix composition Rum is where you should start, ignore all the flavors and colors its all fairly meaningless advertising. Just buy Bacardi regular and not over think it.

Avoid bourbon, scotch and whiskey. Its just pretend manly bullshit for people who want to seem fancy or are from Kentucky. Im literally a Jefferson county native and all its ever got me is bad hangovers and long sessions with my head over a toilet.

You wanna really meet Jesus though, 2/3 peanut butter & banana milkshake, 1/3 third Tito's vodka. You will learn the true nature of the universe.

 

[Mister Mumbler]

It may be more effective, but a tampon soaked in alcohol is easily acquired over the counter and you can even do it at work and no one would ever know.

"Pharmacist, is my prescription for vodka soaked tampons ready?"

Anyway, the real answer is Everclear and your choice of citrus beverage that has a good amount of pulp in it, either orange juice or a good home-made lemonade work best.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Drink on an empty stomach, it's takes far less to get buzzed (which is all I aim for). Go for the "girly" drinks, they taste the best. I get drinks that cover up the taste of alcohol, I always go for mixed drinks like long islands (lots of alcohol but tastes good somehow) or something like a blue Hawaiian or like a Mike's hard (the apple pear is awesome). I hate beer so much and really don't care for anything straight like whiskey outside of Fireball.

This. Go for girly drinks that cover up the taste of alcohol with way too much sugar, like daikiris and white russians. Also cream liqueur in general.