Ideal partner: Smarter, dumber, or about on your level?

[Azrael the Cat]

I couldn't even consider having a relationship with a woman who didn't have a decent uni education, a professional career or similarly devoted pursuit, and a decent knowledge of literature/theatre. Even for a brief fling or a one-nighter, I get turned right off if they start coming across as unintelligent. I also exclude anyone who is just rabidly anti-intellectual, or doesn't see the value of literature and artistic film/theatre. I know that kind of thing shouldn't matter for a trivial fling, but I just can't help getting turned off in that situation.

As for same as / smarter than myself - I tend to find that people of a decent intellect/education have different strengths. It's not as important in a fling, but for a serious relationship I'd struggle to stay interested in someone if there wasn't ANYTHING that they were superior in intellectually.

My wife is a good case in point - I've come mainly from a humanities background, when I was a teenager I was decent enough at maths/physics to always top the school, but I haven't touched that stuff since highschool. Since then, I've been humanities-oriented - did degrees in law, philosophy and marketing, spent a couple of years as a stage actor, then a few working as a lawyer before going back to get my PhD and publish/lecture in philosophy, so I haven't really had to touch sciences for a long time. My wife, by comparison, did mathematics/engineering, works as an engineer, and its her turn to do her PhD (in maths) next (financially, it was just easier for us to alternate getting our PhDs and getting established in academia while the other one still pulls a professional income) . I find that a good match - we're both interested enough in each others' areas to get a moderate understanding of them, but still have areas where one of us is better at than the other - I just find it helps maintain that sense of 'wow, you're awesome' that you get early in a relationship.

 

[Baldry]

Equal. I'm quite intelligent as it is and don't want a person proving me wrong but I don't want to have to tell the person obvious stuff.

 

[JoshGod]

same as or less intellignent, however not too dumb.

 

[LostTimeLady]

About my level! But the real question you should be asking, "SHOULD SHE BE ABLE TO BEAT YOUR HIGH SCORE!?!?"

Excellent point! Lol.

I do agree also about having a partner who is on your level. However sometimes it's nice for their knowledge and interlect to be from a different area to your own (if you're sciency they're more artsy etc) cos you can have some great conversations with two different stand points and also it keeps things interesting as you can learn from each other.

Also, I find the smarter a bloke, the less hyper-masculine they are so it's more likely to be a mutual relationship.

 

[Dwarfman]

Neither. In the past maybe I looked for people with a higher intelligence, however I have since learned that being intelligent or unintelligent isn't essential to maintaning a relationship. What matters is empathy and team work. Neither of which requires an intelligence stat.

 

[Zantos]

About my level, but in a subject completely different to my own. I like intelligent conversation but i also like to be able to have course seperate from girlfriend.

 

[_Cake_]

I don't really care how smart someone is as long as they have a good heart.

Also a lot of people aren't book smart but they know lots of other things or have other skills. I'm fine being the brainy one.

 

[kommunizt kat]

Smarter, I like a woman that I can debate with and learn my mistakes from

 

[SarcasmoPope]

That would depend on whether the smarter person would leave me because they can't have an intelligent conversation with me, or the dumber person would leave me because they feel intimidated.

 

[vxicepickxv]

I'd definitely need to go for around my level, if not smarter. Of course, it gets really hard when you're already above the norm to find someone smarter than you are.

 

[Aurgelmir]

About the same level as me or smarter.

Sadly I have met girls who were smarter than me/others, and always found a way to make sure we knew that. And rubbing it in someones face is a turn off.

I think being with someone much dumber than me would be frustrating after a while, and also not something I would take home to the parents.

 

[Oneirius]

About my level, please. I can't stand dumber ones, and though I didn't have much experience with smarter ones (I'd like to think it's because I am really smart, but it's probably because smart girls just don't become my partners...), but that one time was a nightmare.

 

[Exia91]

My GF is about the same to me!
She is smarter in a lot of stuff she does for Uni for example(we follow the same courses). But she lacks some practical skills and is at a loss for some basic responses to things and often makes silly (but funny) mistakes. Yes, to conclude, just as smart and witty, but in different areas, so we complement each other.

[sub]Not that anyone will read this post. [/sub]

 

[Fangface74]

If you want someone dumber, you'll be searching for a while as your already pretty thick to want that in the first place. Needing someone the same hints at insecurity (not as much as the first idiot though).

My gf is WAY smarter than me, she challenges me, my thoughts, my beliefs, my preconceptions...all without trying. Simply spending time with her expands my horizons and broadens my perspective. I've learnt to trust her values as she rarely (she's only human!) puts a foot wrong. I aspire to be as good as her, adding her worth to my own...and it feels great

 

[k-ossuburb]

Either someone smarter than me or someone about my level, I get irritated with people who don't understand what I'm saying when I attempt to articulate my thoughts.

I've always been a fan of bouncing my ideas off of people, if they're smarter than me then they can correct me and give me new insight and maybe highlight some new avenues for me to explore in order for me to enrich my thought process with new information; if they're about my level then they might not correct me as much, but at least I'd be able to say something to them without feeling like I've got to simplify things to make it easier for them to understand.

I'm also pretty intolerant of people who aren't at my level; I get belligerent and irritable with them and more likely to snap. The relationship would end pretty quickly if I'm constantly having to explain things to them, repeat myself or pretend I'm interested in trivial conversation topics I have no real interest in. She'd probably end up getting annoyed with me, too, I'm a bit of an asshole.

 

[Fangface74]

She must be pretty stupid to be with someone dumber then, by your logic.
Psst, don't let her see this thread.

lol, I have JUST enough smarts to fool her