Ideal partner: Smarter, dumber, or about on your level?

[Aurgelmir]

About the same level as me or smarter.

Sadly I have met girls who were smarter than me/others, and always found a way to make sure we knew that. And rubbing it in someones face is a turn off.

I think being with someone much dumber than me would be frustrating after a while, and also not something I would take home to the parents.

 

[Oneirius]

About my level, please. I can't stand dumber ones, and though I didn't have much experience with smarter ones (I'd like to think it's because I am really smart, but it's probably because smart girls just don't become my partners...), but that one time was a nightmare.

 

[Exia91]

My GF is about the same to me!
She is smarter in a lot of stuff she does for Uni for example(we follow the same courses). But she lacks some practical skills and is at a loss for some basic responses to things and often makes silly (but funny) mistakes. Yes, to conclude, just as smart and witty, but in different areas, so we complement each other.

[sub]Not that anyone will read this post. [/sub]

 

[Fangface74]

If you want someone dumber, you'll be searching for a while as your already pretty thick to want that in the first place. Needing someone the same hints at insecurity (not as much as the first idiot though).

My gf is WAY smarter than me, she challenges me, my thoughts, my beliefs, my preconceptions...all without trying. Simply spending time with her expands my horizons and broadens my perspective. I've learnt to trust her values as she rarely (she's only human!) puts a foot wrong. I aspire to be as good as her, adding her worth to my own...and it feels great

 

[k-ossuburb]

Either someone smarter than me or someone about my level, I get irritated with people who don't understand what I'm saying when I attempt to articulate my thoughts.

I've always been a fan of bouncing my ideas off of people, if they're smarter than me then they can correct me and give me new insight and maybe highlight some new avenues for me to explore in order for me to enrich my thought process with new information; if they're about my level then they might not correct me as much, but at least I'd be able to say something to them without feeling like I've got to simplify things to make it easier for them to understand.

I'm also pretty intolerant of people who aren't at my level; I get belligerent and irritable with them and more likely to snap. The relationship would end pretty quickly if I'm constantly having to explain things to them, repeat myself or pretend I'm interested in trivial conversation topics I have no real interest in. She'd probably end up getting annoyed with me, too, I'm a bit of an asshole.

 

[Fangface74]

She must be pretty stupid to be with someone dumber then, by your logic.
Psst, don't let her see this thread.

lol, I have JUST enough smarts to fool her

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Do we judge intelligence by IQ? Perspective on life? The opinions a person holds? Academic success?

The middle two are the largest in my own criteria, but I know that the traits book-ending them are how alot of people wish to judge intelligence.

Panda's 2 cents: If you don't have the good sense to relax and enjoy your existence, you're a feckin' fool in my book...regardless of what qualifications you might have.

 

[MassiveGeek]

I want my partner to be intelligent, it's preferable - but I'm more concerned about them to have common sense. I love discussion and I want to be able to discuss things with my partner of course. Also I'd like them to be able to think for themselves, but I don't want them to be thickheaded either.

Hmm. About my level or higher. If they're lower I usually get frustrated.

 

[Serge A. Storms]

I don't pursue dumb chicks or ones that have no alcohol tolerance because it makes me feel like I'm engaging in bestiality. My level or above is great, but the problem with some of the smart ones is that they're so insecure that they'll ask really dumb questions that turn me completely off even if I know for a fact that they're much better than that. Ideally my level or slightly above without extra baggage, although that's the ideal, not the reality I'm generally faced with.

 

[GeorgW]

I want to be able to have an intelligent discussion with my mate. I prefer equal, but can go either way. It's unfortunately very hard to find someone equal or smarter than me (God that sounds arrogant, but what can I say, I'm talking from experience.). My current GF is much dumber than me, and while it sometimes gets on my nerve when I have to explain everything I say, it still doesn't matter much, as that's not why I'm with her.

 

[Fraught]

About on my level, by far. I wouldn't want her to be smarter. I don't like genuinely feeling dumber compared to someone else. I like wallowing in my own talents, and the topics I'm knowledgeable in, but if she was, overall, and in too many respects smarter, overall, than me, I wouldn't like it.

If the girl was dumber, I'd get irritated too often. I don't act all smug when someone is dumber than me, in fact, I try to make them feel as on level with me as I can (god, this paragraph makes me sound like a cocky fuckhead), coddling them with vain compliments and so on. But I'm usually subtle with everything, and things I say are usually continuations of something I said a second before, and if she can't make those connections, and has to keep asking me over of "What I'm talking about" etc., then it mildly irritates me.
/edit/ And, of course, just having to explain everything. /edit/

But being on level with me they won't make me feel arrogant or timid, they tip-toe on the center.

With that said, I'd most love someone who was on level with me, but, like SimuLord said, honey-sweet. I'm a sucker for sweetness and a girl who's straightforward in showing her affection.

 

[ThePirateMan]

Either smarter or the same.

I'm strangely attracted to smart people, I may get jealous tho..

 

[Saint of M]

I don't mind if she's smarter then me as it would keep conversations interesting. I don't think I could handle a girl that was a village idiot.

 

[RandallJohn]

Honestly, anything but dumber. And if she's smarter, she shouldn't be patronizing.

 

[tahrey]

Hmm, I may have said "same level or slightly above/below", as it's good to be able to click with someone and occasionally win the argument (...either by actually being a bit smarter in one area, or at least arguing with someone who isn't so thick they refuse to concede defeat even when being utterly wrong about a very simple thing) - as well as sometimes lose it because your S.O. isn't a totally compliant little puppydog.

Plus smart is the next sexy

But then having read the OP's take on it all, I'm not so sure. Maybe that's why most of mine haven't worked out, largely with me breaking off before it gets any further than a bit of experimental heavy petting, because I liked them so much - as a friend and intellectual equal as well as being attractive - I was scared of losing them should it not work out romantically.

(That's something to add to the "you wake up two years ago" post, if it were possible to tweak it to "four years" or preferably "ten" - "go for it you fool! she ends up falling for an american / moving back home / etc and you hardly ever manage to keep in touch anyway! and even your own parents and the divorced parents of a different friend eventually end up showing that a romantic breakup doesn't have to mean you become absolute enemies or inhabit the Awkward Zone forever!". And also to take forward into the future ... thanks Escapist ... this has been a genuine learning / personal growth experience.)

 

[Serenegoose]

I gravitate towards people as intelligent or roughly even to me. I couldn't imagine it any other way. If anything my partners tend to be smarter than me in some ways and less intelligent in others.

 

[El Poncho]

How smart a girl is doesn't bother me, depends how much I enjoy being with them. Maybe they provide good conversation, maybe funny conversation, as long as I'm entertained I don't care

 

[Geekosaurus]

On my level, I guess. But if I had to choose one extreme, like my partner had to be either smarter or stupider, I'd choose smarter. I cannot abide really stupid people because knowledge - in a normal, Western society - is a choice. If you're stupid (and you don't have any disability that prevents learning) it's because you're chosen to be stupid.

 

[Kargathia]

"Intelligence" is a rather vague thing, open to many interpretations.

In terms of relations I learned this the hard way, meeting somebody who wouldn't be able to hold an "intelligent" discussion to save her life, while possessing an uncanny insight in the actually important things.

 

[kmccarron739]

I don't think I could be with someone more intelligent than me. My ego disdains it.

This basically. My intelligence is one of the only things I have going for me so if possible, I'd like it for me to be a bit ahead of them. Not by much, though.