If the console wars was an actual war...

[dmase]

Sony: an ICBM.... and nothing else
Microsoft: an army of 3cpo units...with hardware issues
Wii: a bunch of natives running around with spears..... except there are over 10million natives
PC: futuristic army belonging to an advanced old civilization

Microsoft would drop their army of 3 cpo units right on Sony's base, around 90% will stop working before they get there and sony unwilling to give up blows the hell out of theirselves just to destory the rest of the microsoft army. The wii tribesmen not knowing the war has ended would keep trying to build a bridge across the Pacific(not going so well). The mighty pc empire the obvious winner catches a fatal virus and has to permanetly shut down and is now an expensive ass paper weight.(that'll teach'em to download porn from less then repuitable sites.)

 

[DragonsAteMyMarbles]

The factions would need weapons, so...

Microsoft and Sony would be dual-wielding 360 and PS3 controllers respectively - with blades attached to one side so they'd actually do some damage.
They'll end up cutting their own fingers off.

Nintendo would be brandishing Wiimote/Nunchuk combos, using them like actual nunchaku.
They'll end up breaking their own noses.

PC would be using a (wired) mouse as a flail.
They'll end up breaking each other's noses.

If tabletop gaming deigned to take part, their instruments of "death" would consist of character sheets (paper cuts of doom!) and exploding dice.
They'll turn to their game masters for guidance, and descend into bickering over strategy and whether they're staying in character by taking part in the war - with the exception of the Chaotic Evil types, who'll be trying to paper-cut each other to death in a bid to see who's the strongest.
...or am I thinking of <url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChaoticStupid>Chaotic Stupid?

 

[Superlordbasil]

The X box would be like cold war Russia big powerful but nevertheless a broken product

The PS3 is like USA inflated, expensive and a Juggernaut that doesn't actually achieve anything

The PC is like Europe a minor player but still acts like its the center of the universe

...and sega is a rotting corpse

 

[Ironwampa]

Who would be the neutral Swiss

 

[Superlordbasil]

Who would be the neutral Swiss

apple Macs?

 

[Jazzyluv2]

PC gaming would win cause PC's make your console games anyway...

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Me and my friends have these discussions... except its religions instead of consoles (my friends are Christian and Jewish, and we're not attacking religions!).

It goes alike this:

Sony and Microsoft will battle it out, and when they're both near death, Nintendo will run in and kill them both. Thus establishing an empire of casual gaming and awkward controls. And tyranny and no tolerance of defiance. So, in fear:

[HEADING=3]All hail the Wii.[/HEADING]

 

[HyenaThePirate]

360 users would dominate the war after discovering that WORDS (Specifically profane ones) actually CAN be used as a weapon..

Wii Owners would suffer the highest known casualties in the history of warfare, due to the fact that they outnumber the enemy 10 to 1, but were all given weapons with no ammunition and laughable stopping power.

The PS3 army two years into the war would still be trying to figure out how to recruit enough soldiers to actually wage a winnable campaign, but would ultimately fall apart when they realize that nobody was able to communicate with anyone else efficiently and that gold-plated, diamond-encrusted assault rifles might look pretty, but aren't really as effective as one might hoped.

The PC army would be comprised mostly of modular mercenary groups with wildly varied forms of weaponry, selling their services to the highest bidder, but ultimately implode from the constant attacks from Pirates.

All the PSP bases r belong to Nintendo DS within hours of the first shot being fired.

Apple would be Sweden.. watching, waiting, and being terribly, terribly ergonomic.

 

[Deleted]

PS3 would have giant mechas blasting techno music and Xbox would hace tanks blasting rock. The Wii will have a white flag because it doesn't want to get involved in all this shit.

 

[WorldCritic]

The 360 army's weapons would stop working in the middle of the battle.
The Wii army would only be 5 man strong since the rest would be either to old or to young to recruit.
The ps3 army would have the newest and most powerful weapon, unfortunately they could only afford 3.

Well, can't beat that. Nice job.

 

[Spiner909]

Nobody would fight, because they're too damn busy playing games.

 

[lazy_bum]

The 360 army's weapons would stop working in the middle of the battle.
The Wii army would only be 5 man strong since the rest would be either to old or to young to recruit.
The ps3 army would have the newest and most powerful weapon, unfortunately they could only afford 3.

this is going on my favourite quotes list.

that'll teach'em to download porn from less then repuitable sites.)

download porn from less then repuitable sites

porn from less then repuitable sites

porn...repuitable sites

There are reputable porn sites?

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Man, I wonder how many different ways people will be able to say 'XBox Army has lots of soldiers but drunk/broken/useless vehical; PC doesn't know it's going on; Wii compiled off children and PS3 expensive gadgets but not many.'

Screw the rules I have logic bombs.

The XBox army would be compiled of Batman, Master Chief and a cloned Solid Snake, Wii would have a plumber, a hedgehog and an elf, PS3 would have a boy dressed like a girl, sackboy and the original Solid Snake.

My money's on the one with the most guns and Batman. PS3 puts up a valiant fight but loses in the end when Old Snake's hip fractures. Wii has an initial sprint start but can't maintain the pace, and the XBox sweeps victory simply by virtue of hanging around the longest, despite having severe injuries at the end.

Oh, and don't think I didn't notice that this was a versus thread. A well disguised versus thread, but a versus thread.

 

[HyenaThePirate]

Man, I wonder how many different ways people will be able to say 'XBox Army has lots of soldiers but drunk/broken/useless vehical; PC doesn't know it's going on; Wii compiled off children and PS3 expensive gadgets but not many.'

Screw the rules I have logic bombs.

The XBox army would be compiled of Batman, Master Chief and a cloned Solid Snake, Wii would have a plumber, a hedgehog and an elf, PS3 would have a boy dressed like a girl, sackboy and the original Solid Snake.

My money's on the one with the most guns and Batman. PS3 puts up a valiant fight but loses in the end when Old Snake's hip fractures. Wii has an initial sprint start but can't maintain the pace, and the XBox sweeps victory simply by virtue of hanging around the longest, despite having severe injuries at the end.

Oh, and don't think I didn't notice that this was a versus thread. A well disguised versus thread, but a versus thread.

LOL
They are ALL "versus threads" in the end...

 

[dmase]

The 360 army's weapons would stop working in the middle of the battle.
The Wii army would only be 5 man strong since the rest would be either to old or to young to recruit.
The ps3 army would have the newest and most powerful weapon, unfortunately they could only afford 3.

this is going on my favourite quotes list.

that'll teach'em to download porn from less then repuitable sites.)

download porn from less then repuitable sites

porn from less then repuitable sites

porn...repuitable sites

There are reputable porn sites?

Yeah except you have to pay real money for them..... and i see what you did there, nice.

 

[Snotnarok]

This is simply based in my room of course if there was a console war.

-360 would be on it's way back to replace it's 5 fallen brothers
-PS3 is be looking desperately for help (smallest library of games even beaten by my Neo Geo pocket color)
-Wii would to dig it's way out of a mountain of dust
-Genesis wins because it's outlasted all my consoles.
-NES is cyborg since I've had to repair it twice
-SNES is be narcoleptic since it only works sometimes
-PS2 is demolishing mostly everything with waves of games
-PSOne is be portable ops with it's LCD screen attachement
-Gamecube would be in the closet cowering since it's been replaced by the Wii.
-Sega Saturn watches from the sidelines being neglected by sega it's officially ignoring the war
-N64 was fired before the war because I don't care for it.

 

[SomeUnregPunk]

if the console wars were an actual war...all the hardcore fans would be dead and the casual gamers would be running things. ...

hardcore gamers would kill themselves from either griefing each other or tossing teamwork out the window until it was too late.

 

[Naeo]

The 360 would have the most manpower, but they'd have the worst health coverage and medics on-field, so people would drop like flies. When they're kicking, though, oh man are they kicking.

Unfortunately the PS3 would have the bigger foot to kick with, but fewer feet overall and less variance.

But both would be prey to the Wii's artillery fire, not all intentionally.

Meanwhile, the PC would just show up and start attacking everyone. Only some of the 360 and a few of the PS3 warriors would put up any fight.

(Read: Xbox crash = poor medics; PS3's bigger foot = bigger hardware, but more expensive; artillery fire = FLYING WIIMOTES OH SHIT)

 

[Cortheya]

Nintendo would be the Children's Crusade badum tish