If the Escapist was a city, what would YOUR job be?

[AgDr_ODST]

I'm the guy who is/was best known for hanging out in and around the Comic shop/book stores. Im not seen much around town any more but a decent number of people are members of the church that I founded in town but dont preside over as its pastor, no one seems to notice or care though they're just glad (or so I at least I like to think) that the church is there at all.

 

[NightHawk21]

Oh I wanna lead the R&D department for the Injustice league

Consider this my formal application.

 

[Jarsh82]

I would be an immigrant looking for work.

 

[Adventurer2626]

Well I guess I'd be pretty much who I am irl: just a random bum of a dude that coasts by in life but is at peace with himself because of "that one time" that an Escapist staff member addressed me directly, with a photo of the moment framed on my wall. So a starving author/artist/philosopher that works checkout at the EscapistMart?

Less depressing answer: a deranged lunatic that spends all digging a trench around the city, gibbering about "protecting the city from the imp invasion."

 

[Boggelz]

I'd be a local preacher. But not on the teachings of god, but how much I like bastion. Until people start throwing raw food on me because I annoy them.

 

[UnusualStranger]

Me? I'm the local mercenary round these parts. Investigatin, bringin people to justice (or injustice), and wearin a damn fine hat to go with it.

When those brovengers don't get the job done, come to me. I make things happen. Not always the best of things, but they happen.

 

[johnnnny guitar]

Probably the guy who stands in the street and bitches and moans about stuff to random people because that's essentially what I do on these forums anyway

 

[likalaruku]

I'd be the hero from out of town who does quests in exchange for enchanted & unique swag.

 

[maninahat]

Traffic warden, or something equally contemptable; A position which I insist is most important, contrary to what everyone else says. Next time you think about carjacking someone and tearing through the city at top speed, think of us little guys picking up the pieces, won't you?

 

[Rastien]

I'll be in charge of training the monkey work force, as everyone here has such fancy jobs we need someone to srub the toilets, clean up the rubbish and work in our manufacturing plants.

I would totally trust these guys to fix my car:

 

[Snowden's Secret]

Hmm, I think I'd fancy being an informant of some kind for one of the major organisations in the city. Or I could go freelance and sell my information to the highest bidder. In a city like Escapistopia gossip, scorn and scandal could make me a fortune or two.
Mercenary work would have also been an option, were I trained in anything other than Nerf weaponry.

 

[Evil Raccoon]

The local historian, that's me!

 

[SEXTON HALE]

I think that if I was going to be anything I would be editor in chief of escapistopias biggest news paper J Jonah jameson style!
If it cant be ready for tommorow make it ready for today! Cancels my tuesday and put it on tuesday! STOP THE PRESSES, I want that new spider man story on the front pages!

 

[Crazycat690]

Porn store owner, it makes sense in many ways

 

[DonTsetsi]

Chief city architect, everyone would have to go through me in order to build anything.

 

[Sacul]

Pfft, we'll put it to good use.

Like blackjack.

And hookers.

And so, today's quest begins. I must get myself into a life or death situation that could easily be resolved if I had some sort of superpower, while I tragically bemoan my lack of power either

A: A woman will appear and grant me superpowers.

OR

B: I will awaken superpowers hidden deep within myself somehow.

(At least, that's how it works for Jonny Yong Bosch characters.)

AND THEN, I shall join the Brovengers and partake in blackjack and hookers. Wait, do Brovengers even need superpowers to be Brovengers? Or super-awesome suits of armor?

 

[Caverat]

I would be a cleric, spreading the word of Allah, and his prophet Muhammad.

In the war between Islam and the rest of the world, Islam will win. Islam will win because it is the only group recognizing that there is a war ongoing, one they declared.

 

[ecoho]

professional ninja as i tend to show up out of nowere correct people and decend back into the shadows........failing that become the brovengers agent if theyll have me

 

[TheOrb]

A student in the Academy of Mad Science.

 

[Puppet Master]

Well I would be a private detective at day and a private detective that investigates supernatural cases at night. Like Winchester brothers from Supernatural. Damn that show is good.
With my 44. mangnum and 44. mangnum loaded with silver bullets I will take care of any case you throw at me. Of course good service comes with a price.