If the internet had a final boss, who or what would it be?
- Thread starter zombiejoe
- Start date
Mavis Beacon. The majority of the internet would stand no chance.
EDIT: I'm not sure if youngsters get this. God, I feel old typing "youngsters".
EDIT: I'm not sure if youngsters get this. God, I feel old typing "youngsters".
I'd say the final boss is an old computer in an empty room.....protected by billions of pop-ups with horribly small and sometimes fake weak spots you have to hit in order to get through them. And they regenerate!
Star Wars Kid? Or at least he would be one of the bosses. I'm thinking a sweeping epic that takes you through every circle of the Internet, taking you all the way down to the frozen lake of fire at the bottom where you have to battle something that looks like the CPU or whatever it's name was from the first Tron (I oddly recognize it better now as Moses from South Park...) but it actually represents the souls of all the people who have ever spent any time on the net, or maybe just Steve Jobs.
^This is also acceptable. Maybe like after the lake of fire, we can pull a "Matrix" and make it a room full of monitors, and right when you're about to click closed the last pop up (which represents the bosses last bit of health) everything freezes, stutters, and then blue screens.Malleus Maleficarum said:
Because in the game called the Internet, no one wins.
Alright, for this to work, it's going to have to be a bit long winded, but here me out. Consider this your TL;DR warning.
The Internet: The Game. Chapter I: Rise of Anonymous. (edited in because I decided to write a chapter II)
The game takes place in a near future internet, dominated by the mega-ISPs of Rodgers and Bell. All smaller ISPs have been completely consumed by these two behemoths, and together, they essentially rule the internet with an iron fist. Also, a perpetual war rages on as each of these corporations seeks total dominance. Several smaller corps and organizations fight against the tyranny of the mega-ISPs, but to little avail. more on them later.
You play as an internet regular. Your ISP happens to be Rogers, though a recent change in rogers policy, specifically, the decision to resurrect the meter, has you considering switching, because you can no longer afford your internet usage. However, as you research the two ISPs in an attempt to determine the most viable ISP, when suddenly you stumble upon a disturbing revelation: Both ISPs are responsible for heinous acts which not only force their consumers to pay more then they can reasonably afford, but are also guilty of failing to provide their subjects with basic privacy protection, and in fact, sell that "privacy" to the highest bidder!
Suddenly, armed thugs bust into your home modem wearing Guy Fox masks, and take you prisoner. The first level is your attempt to avoid these anonymous intruders (see what I did there?), but your efforts are, ultimately, in vain.
When you awaken, you find yourself being dragged down a long hallway in a mysterious forum with cracked floors and the smell of rot and urine, and the sound of scuttling rodents. Every hundred feet or so, you see a door. The doors are not numbered, but lettered, and you take note of the few doors you pass: /x/, /gif/, and /v/, before finally coming to a stop in front of a door marked /b/.
Inside, you are led past legions of Guy Fox masks, Troll faces, and a slew of memes, before entering the office of a green-faced man called M00t. M00t explains that you were brought here because you have learned the truth about the major ISPs, and have been enlisted in M00t's own Personal Army of memes and guerrilla fighters, who seek to take down Rogers and Bell, and give the internet back to the people. Grudgingly, you agree.
Unfortunately, after a few levels where in you complete minor tasks for M00t such as trolling Facebook (and, indeed, are forced to do battle with Farm-ville itself as a minor boss fight) you realize that M00t is nothing more then a man-child, and his Anonymous army seek not to free the internet for the people, but to make the internet more interesting for M00t and his cynical, Socially defunct followers. Finally, you decide to confront M00t, and are forced to fight your way through 4chan, bringing an end to /b/ in the process. In doing so, you must fight through waves of memes, Trolls and Guy Foxes, finally facing off against M00t himself.
End of game one. Naturally, this will be a trilogy.
The Internet: The Game. Chapter I: Rise of Anonymous. (edited in because I decided to write a chapter II)
The game takes place in a near future internet, dominated by the mega-ISPs of Rodgers and Bell. All smaller ISPs have been completely consumed by these two behemoths, and together, they essentially rule the internet with an iron fist. Also, a perpetual war rages on as each of these corporations seeks total dominance. Several smaller corps and organizations fight against the tyranny of the mega-ISPs, but to little avail. more on them later.
You play as an internet regular. Your ISP happens to be Rogers, though a recent change in rogers policy, specifically, the decision to resurrect the meter, has you considering switching, because you can no longer afford your internet usage. However, as you research the two ISPs in an attempt to determine the most viable ISP, when suddenly you stumble upon a disturbing revelation: Both ISPs are responsible for heinous acts which not only force their consumers to pay more then they can reasonably afford, but are also guilty of failing to provide their subjects with basic privacy protection, and in fact, sell that "privacy" to the highest bidder!
Suddenly, armed thugs bust into your home modem wearing Guy Fox masks, and take you prisoner. The first level is your attempt to avoid these anonymous intruders (see what I did there?), but your efforts are, ultimately, in vain.
When you awaken, you find yourself being dragged down a long hallway in a mysterious forum with cracked floors and the smell of rot and urine, and the sound of scuttling rodents. Every hundred feet or so, you see a door. The doors are not numbered, but lettered, and you take note of the few doors you pass: /x/, /gif/, and /v/, before finally coming to a stop in front of a door marked /b/.
Inside, you are led past legions of Guy Fox masks, Troll faces, and a slew of memes, before entering the office of a green-faced man called M00t. M00t explains that you were brought here because you have learned the truth about the major ISPs, and have been enlisted in M00t's own Personal Army of memes and guerrilla fighters, who seek to take down Rogers and Bell, and give the internet back to the people. Grudgingly, you agree.
Unfortunately, after a few levels where in you complete minor tasks for M00t such as trolling Facebook (and, indeed, are forced to do battle with Farm-ville itself as a minor boss fight) you realize that M00t is nothing more then a man-child, and his Anonymous army seek not to free the internet for the people, but to make the internet more interesting for M00t and his cynical, Socially defunct followers. Finally, you decide to confront M00t, and are forced to fight your way through 4chan, bringing an end to /b/ in the process. In doing so, you must fight through waves of memes, Trolls and Guy Foxes, finally facing off against M00t himself.
End of game one. Naturally, this will be a trilogy.
I like how you think.zombiejoe said:
In my opinion Anonymous would be more like the elite 4 to the end of the Internets. I think the very last and final boss would be some sort of Grammar Monster. It would be the perfect obstacle for most idiots on the Internet to face. After having been through the gauntlet of Anon, being trampled and using up all metaphorical "super potions and revives", you have to face peoples worst enemy, Proper Grammar.
The internet has made me bitter and cynical, but I think this would be Poetic Justice at its best.
