If the internet had a final boss, who or what would it be?
- Thread starter zombiejoe
- Start date
I would say either the Westboro Baptist Church's leader (troll), Chris-chan (a bastardization of the adult children common to the internet), or Happycat (the face of internet memes in general, the I can haz cheeseburger one). Any of those or Ron Jeremy (a star of what the internet is basically for).
Rick Astley, surely.
Or maybe he'd just be the Final Boss of Youtube.
The way I see it, each major community or website would have its own stage, and there'd of course be a final boss for each stage. Not sure what the final, final boss would be though.
Why has this concept not already been turned into a flash game?
Or maybe he'd just be the Final Boss of Youtube.
The way I see it, each major community or website would have its own stage, and there'd of course be a final boss for each stage. Not sure what the final, final boss would be though.
Why has this concept not already been turned into a flash game?
Because I am bored and don't want to sleep while totally stuffed after thanksgiving dinner, I have decided to write up a plot outline for the sequel to The Internet: The Game.Liquid Paradox said:
The Internet: The Game. Chapter II: Pit of the World
The battle of 4chan is over, M00t is dead, and Facebook is still recovering from your misguided attacks. Although you have defeated /b/ in all of it's glory, you are now a fugitive on the run from Rogers and Bell alike, thanks to a few shenanigans that you had pulled for Anonymous in the first game. In order to escape persecution, you must convince TOR that you are a friend to online privacy so that they may lend you passage into the .Onion networks in the deepest reaches of the internet.
The beginning of the game has you running a few missions for TOR, where you design a complicated network of servers and modems, right under the nose of Rogers, your former ISP. This is really a tutorial for this games core mechanic, wherein you gain experience by linking surface sites to one another.
once you have completed this task, TOR awards you with a special badge which, once activated, allows you to access the web with near-perfect privacy, as your IP is now part of the TOR network. This badge is called the TOR button, and represents the second core mechanic of the game: the ability to switch back and forth from anonymous to public browsing. More importantly, this badge allows you to access the normally hidden .Onion domains, and you soon learn that these Dynamic domains actually make up the dark belly of the internet: The Deep Web.
From here on, the game play's as a sandbox, allowing you to travel from domain to domain as you choose and to take jobs from various corporations, either on the Surface Web with the likes of Google, YouTube and even The Pirate Bay. You also have the opportunity to become either a White Knight or a Troll, depending on the jobs you take or the choices you make while completing them.
Like the second part of most trilogies, the main plot mostly has you running recon and gathering information on the bad guys, in this case, Bell and Rogers. You even meet a few acquaintances in each organization who seem willing to help you, often for a price.
The primary villain in this game turns out to be the uploaded consciousness of Steve Jobs and his army of Apple-bots, who have been running shadow operations in the Deep Web for both Bell and Rogers. You also learn more about the ongoing war, both on the Surface web and in the Deep Web, between the two dominant ISPs.
Steve Jobs had died, but not before turning over all of his assets. The character finds out, through pure coincidence, that Steve Jobs death was actually a front for a project to upload his consciousness into the web, where he is trying to monopolize the Personal Computer industry by undermining Microsoft at a software level (the game writers will later admit that this was not very well thought out, because they were still fleshing out the real villain for the Third and Final game). You and a crack team of Microsoft Agents infiltrate Macintosh, track the Steve Jobs to his intelligence core, and finally defeat him.
The Internet: The Game. Chapter III: A Tale of Two ISPs will come tomorrow if I find myself feeling like it.
Good lord. It is not false logic. It's not even illogical or anti logic. No. This is the void of logic. The absence of logic, of comprehension, of reason and of that which ties all things together: relativity. This is the great emptiness. The void of logic.Kizo said:
Oh my god yes!jpoon said:CATS!
You sir win all my internets for a week.
I know the secret to defeating him though. We need to take off every zig. For great justice
Round 1: You have to read and thoughtfully and politely respond to 1000 Youtube Comments (not of your choosing) posted on political/historical clips. If you respond aggressively to even ONE comment, you lose. Cameras are rigged - you are allowed to frown 5 times during the round. If you frown or expressive negative emotions a sixth time, you lose.
Round 2: 50 of the most aggressive, sarcastic, irreverent, troll-tastic members of 4chan are presented before you. You, in 100 posts or less, have to get more than 60% of them to feel even a glimmer of human shame. Most consider this task to be impossible.
Round 3: You must sit through 700 hours of increasingly bad clips of people miming or singing along to pop-songs. They get progressively worse as time goes by. You have to watch the clips for 12 hours straight every day, allowing for 7 hours sleep, 3 hours for meals and 2 hours to contemplate suicide.
Round 4: Get into a forum debate with a militant Christian or a militant Atheist. Get them to admit something even remotely positive about the other side, or better yet, a general admission of the humanity of their opponent.
Round 5: Ultimate Round. The Final Test. The Challenge above a Thousand Challenges. If you win this, you win it all. It's not so much a test.... as a life-long task, a JOURNEY, if you will:
I want you to go to a debate, on Youtube, The escapist, or whatever forum you frequent.... I want you to read inflammatory comments.... and I want you to walk away. Forever. To win at the internet, you have to conquer your feelings. Never respond to a badly thought out, inaccurate, political incorrect (or correct) statement again. You can never post a combative, angry response.... EVER AGAIN.
If you can do that.... you have TRULY conquered the Internet. In all it's myriad terrible forms, in all it's horror and glory. You will emerge triumphant! But will the prize..... outweigh the cost? The Victory, outlive the sacrifice?
That..... is for you.... to decide.
Round 2: 50 of the most aggressive, sarcastic, irreverent, troll-tastic members of 4chan are presented before you. You, in 100 posts or less, have to get more than 60% of them to feel even a glimmer of human shame. Most consider this task to be impossible.
Round 3: You must sit through 700 hours of increasingly bad clips of people miming or singing along to pop-songs. They get progressively worse as time goes by. You have to watch the clips for 12 hours straight every day, allowing for 7 hours sleep, 3 hours for meals and 2 hours to contemplate suicide.
Round 4: Get into a forum debate with a militant Christian or a militant Atheist. Get them to admit something even remotely positive about the other side, or better yet, a general admission of the humanity of their opponent.
Round 5: Ultimate Round. The Final Test. The Challenge above a Thousand Challenges. If you win this, you win it all. It's not so much a test.... as a life-long task, a JOURNEY, if you will:
I want you to go to a debate, on Youtube, The escapist, or whatever forum you frequent.... I want you to read inflammatory comments.... and I want you to walk away. Forever. To win at the internet, you have to conquer your feelings. Never respond to a badly thought out, inaccurate, political incorrect (or correct) statement again. You can never post a combative, angry response.... EVER AGAIN.
If you can do that.... you have TRULY conquered the Internet. In all it's myriad terrible forms, in all it's horror and glory. You will emerge triumphant! But will the prize..... outweigh the cost? The Victory, outlive the sacrifice?
That..... is for you.... to decide.
4chan.
Health: Indefinite (It only dies when it runs out of memes and all of its trolls faint.)
Attacks: Memes. Fads. Trolls. New ones respawn to replace fallen ones, and old ones can be resurrected indefinitely.
In other words, it's basically the 'endless battle' of RPGs, if endless battle = frustration on a monumental scale.
Health: Indefinite (It only dies when it runs out of memes and all of its trolls faint.)
Attacks: Memes. Fads. Trolls. New ones respawn to replace fallen ones, and old ones can be resurrected indefinitely.
In other words, it's basically the 'endless battle' of RPGs, if endless battle = frustration on a monumental scale.
Gabe "Trollen" Newell
The challenge: wait for episode 3 without a single complaint.
... Iv'e already lost, because all of us are already playing The Game
The challenge: wait for episode 3 without a single complaint.
... Iv'e already lost, because all of us are already playing The Game
