If this is the answer, what is the question?

[kailus13]

Welcome to hire-a-deity! What do you require?

Baby seals.

 

[Headsprouter]

What rhymes with "Maybe wheels"?

It sucks.

 

[kailus13]

What does this vacuum do?

Four legs, for now.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

How many legs does my cat have? >

Run for the hills. It's your only choice.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Hmm a notice for Jury duty. What should I do?

I wouldn't......well maybe.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

If your country was invaded by magical girls, would you defect and fight alongside them?

TV--TV--TV--television--television--sports--sports--sports--TV--Xbox, go home--Call of Duty--Call of Duty--TV. Xbox, go home.

 

[Neuromancer]

Could you summarize the Xbox One presentation for me?

I'm like a bad meal, you just can't keep me down!

 

[Headsprouter]

Could you think of an empowering motto for my avatar?

Demotivational posters.

 

[Dr.Susse]

What is stopping the Internet from being taken seriously as an art from?

No they broke up.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Can I see the Jackson Five in concert?

MORE BOOZE!

 

[kailus13]

What is a particularly uncouth way of ordering drinks?

The dude standing behind you, right now.

 

[Headsprouter]

Who would possibly be bothered by my sitting here in my underwear?

Marriage.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

What's the most pointless and stupid thing you can think of?

ITS ME, DIO!

 

[Neuromancer]

That Stand... Could it be?

And that's the world's first ditch.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Are you going to show me around this incredibly boring museum or not?

Revolver Ocelot betrayed everyone. The end.

 

[vOID_vISION]

How does the shortest book in the world go?

Yeah, Hole is the only one I get above 30 on.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Hey man have you seen that new Golf course with that minefield?

No wait......did you hear that...

 

[kailus13]

Is it me, or is it too quiet?

TEQUILA!

 

[NerfedFalcon]

What's the history of Cinco de Mayo?

Crabs.

 

[Dr.Susse]

You went to L.A! What did you bring me back?

A joke that sent me to jail.