If you could go back and tell your teenage self one piece of advice...

[Suicidejim]

Stop writing on fucking forums and go sort out that shit you've been meaning to sort out all day.

And lo and behold, I shall go do that now.

Or, if I don't feel like cheating and actually go further back than 'right now:'

Stop thinking you're unattractive and nobody likes you. There are at least three girls you will accidentally turn down without even realising it if you don't open your bloody eyes. And when that really attractive girl joins your high school in a few years? Either get in there and go for it, or don't try anything at all. Do not, under any circumstances, fall in love with her, refuse to admit your feelings, let her go out with your friend, start hanging out with her all the time and be so charming and witty that she ends up kissing you one day and admitting she's fallen in love with you, and then have an affair behind your friend's back before you move to Canada. Also, tell her to use a damn condom after you've left, even if the guy claims he's infertile.

 

[Emperor Nat]

"Oh, hey me!"

"Hey me!

"Do you remember that one time we just stayed in all day and played video games, eating Doritos and various other types of junk food?"

"You mean yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"We should totally do that more often."

"Awesome."

"Hey, me?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are we talking in a strange pseudo-American 'surfer' accent?"

"You mean like using the word 'totally'?"

"Yeah."

"Because this post was written at 10 pm."

"Did you just break the fourth wall?"

"I think so."

"Awesome."

 

[ace_of_something]

"Here is a list of some companies to invest in and here's a list the winners of the next 15 superbowls and such... oh yeah... stay the HELL away from Molly she's crazy as hell and will waste SO much of your time"

 

[carpathic]

Tell your father to buy research in motion stocks instead of his own business, then tell him to sell in 2007.

Then he'd be worth A few billion...

 

[Baldry]

Hey minier me, guess what...I...don't know what to tell you, your life, at the time of me telling you this pretty fantastic, sure I could warn you that your sisters best mate until the incident is a prick and son of a sociopathic monster who should be put down due to his response to aforementioned incident but that's your sisters fault, don't worry about it. A few minor things, your parents let you have the house to yourself during the summer holidays, the first time, use an ash tray, the second time, no silly string.
Onto the next topic at hand, DO YOUR FUCKING COURSEWORK. You can skip all the essays if you want, your a bright lad but it won't hurt to do some now and again but as for the coursework, do it. On time. Hell you only needed to do it once for history but you left it till the last day and didn't hand enough in, fool. Also refrain from putting in "BAM! Instant heaven access."
The third thing is, girls. Okay this is a long one or at least it is in my head. Your first girlfriend you probably shouldn't go out with, or kiss in the first place. She was your best mates girlfriend and you stole her and broke up after a month because bitches be crazy, trust me, she is insane and you don't want that. And then there's R.A.J. I don't know what to say. Or maybe I do, at the new years party make sure she's the only girl you kiss after midnight...Otherwise...You kiss someone else and (stupidly) can't decide which one to choose, even though the answer was GOD DAMN FUCKING OBVIOUS and then you flip a coin and go for the other girl, who once again only lasts a month and you like her for long ass time afterwards which is quite frankly annoying but does lead you to meet one girl who you kinda like for some time and have some epic times with but doesn't go anywhere. But these events get you to where you are now. You currently have a girlfriend and you are happy with her, you're both two peas in a pod and are perfect for each other, which is terribly gay (you'll understand this joke if you ignore my advice) but there's still Raj, you're best friends with her, which is good, she's a good friend...But that's not all you want and now you're on the verge of making a terrible mistake like you do every time it's Raj's birthday, seriously no drunken text on May the 11/12th. And that's the end of the story since you're still in your teens and I don't know what advice to give you yet kiddo, maybe in five years when I comment on the article "If you could go back and retell your teenage self one piece of advice and add a bit more too it..." I'll tell you what you do but till then I 'unno.
But in all fairness the only advice I really want to give you is ignore me, you do fine, life's great and your happy and everything I've said I wouldn't change since it's made you the person you are today...Except the coursework and the first point, seriously do your coursework and punch that dick.

 

[Noswad]

Take the blue pill for god's sake

oh and I would tell you to work harder but I know me so here's a winning lottery number.

 

[zerobudgetgamer]

OK, assuming this is Freshman High School me.

1. Community College allows tremendous discounts for High School students. Find some classes there and take them, you'll be thankful.

2. You don't have to go out and make a bunch of friends, but stop being so damn antisocial! Oh, and stop thinking you're being smart when you shut everyone up by being emo. It just doesn't help matters.

3. There are plenty of jobs out there that don't involve working at a grocery store. Look up stuff like "Auditor" when you get your license. The hours are reasonable and you'll never work hard enough that you have to give up school or anything like that.

4. For the love of all that is Holy either never get into using Hair Gel or WASH IT OUT EVERY NIGHT! You do NOT want to go through slowly losing your hair once you pass 20 just because you like slicking it back like that!


I can think of far more, but we'll stick to those.

 

[allways2edlast]

Fuck it, take up art class you like more than you think. also don't staying on in hight school for the last year, left and go to collaga.

 

[Bobbovski]

"Don't obsess over the same girl for years and years. You don't have to take love so seriously, make a move then if she's not interested just forget it"

"You should consider enrolling into a university programe rather then single university classes. Or get a job to get some work experience. There's going to be a recession in a few years"

"Write more"

 

[Sack of Cheese]

Stop whining and enjoy your high school, dumbass!!

 

[fluffybunny937]

I would tell myself "Don't bother asking her out, she just wants to be friends. Don't hit on her or try anything else to get her to like you as more than a friend, she never will."

This applies to most females I know. At least I will never feel disappointment.

 

[guidance]

You, and all your friends are dumb asses. There is no reason for it, but because you are teenagers and are happy, you are dumb asses, live with it. Also for god's sake fucking try. High school is easy compared to what your gonna have to do, fucking try in it, it will make your future life easier. You will forever disappoint me.

 

[Chefodeath]

"It doesn't get better. Just thought I'd confirm what you already expected."

 

[gNetkamiko]

For me it would have to be:
1) Learn and practice German, because you're going to need it once you and your future husband move there
2) Train yourself to recognize the differences between the different new age genres, and gain an appreciation of Trance as the person you and your future husband are planning to move in with is a Trance/House DJ
3) Lift the wool from your eyes, little lamb, and see the world in it's true form: corporate - government backroom deals that allow mercenaries to make rebellions on the governments of decent, self-sustaining, and peaceful countries, etc... (I won't go into the details here on this thread, but suffice it to say, everything that I have learned... everything I've seen... has made me go so far to the left politically that I would be a rather juicy target for the Neo Nazis, which leads to the next piece of advice)
4) When you get involved in politics (as you no doubt will while in Germany, thanks to the aforementioned DJ friend who just so happens to be a party member of "Die Linke"), your eyes will be opened ever further to the horrors of the real world. But, instead of putting the metaphorical blindfold back on, toss it away, vow that you'll never live blindly again and fight Für kulturelle Vielfalt und friedliches miteinander.

 

[Arbi Trax]

Hey shithead! Get in here and sit down. Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face and listen to me for one second.

You know how all your teachers said "You need to work harder, or you won't fulfil your potential" right? Well guess what? Turns out they were God damn right. They weren't trying to "Bring you down," and they weren't less intelligent than you, and they did "Get" you, you smug piece of crap. You know what they were trying to do? Teach you. Help you. Using their FUCKING YEARS of experiece seeing shitheads like you coast their way into shitty jobs and wondering why their life went to dogshit.

Oh, you say that Richard Branson didn't need qualifications? You're damn right! You know why? BECAUSE HE WORKED LIKE A FUCKING DOG DAY IN AND DAY OUT. He didn't sit on his ass making stupid comments and playing games non-stop.

You know what you need to do? FUCKING ANYTHING. Put down the game and just do some fucking work. You know what'll happen else? You'll see one of your schoolfriends drive up in a GOD DAMN FERRARI AND YOU'LL BE IN A GOD DAMN MCDONALDS TSHIRT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY, THAT YOU'RE GOING TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY AS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE REALISED?

Listen to me right now. For the love of GOD, start now. Because you can do it. Yeah, you'll screw up. Yeah, you'll make a fool of yourself a few times. But you'll improve. You'll enjoy it. And you may even fucking succeed. But you know what's going to happen if you do nothing? Nothing. Nothing...

 

[PoliceBox63]

No ones cares as much as you think they do, so for god's sake be yourself sooner.

 

[Lewg999]

Kind of for a few years ago but for gods sake past me , the Guitar tests may be boring but if you want to pass and not be stuck on it fore another year and a half keep at it.

Also that girl feels the same about you , be more confident too

 

[Someone Depressing]

Don't go to your prom - it'll suck.

And if you insist, wear a fucking tux. Everyone else will.

Please, please, don't join a sports club.

Don't join a drama club either.

In Morrowind, you're better off playing as a Dark Elf. Good mixed-tank.

That's about it, really.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

up, up, down ,down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, select, start...

I would give past me the will to live...

 

[Kelethor]

Just one? Fuck...

OKAY, look, I don't have a lot of time so listen. For the love of god, Be more confident with yourself. you're a funny guy, you know you are. so don't be....awkward with women. I know that sounds hard, believe me, it isn't easy. But, you can do it. and when you do it, It is sooooo worth it. believe me.

Oh, and you'll be okay. most problems you have are pretty insignificant. don't sweat the small stuff, stay with good friends, but don't be afraid to make more.

AND BEWARE THE FRIENDZONE! BEEEWAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!