If you could write a letter to your past-self...

[Aznleeman]

Dear me,

Try not to punch that kid in 5th grade. Or hit that other guy. And do not, for the love of God, stick with the same teacher you'll get for that year. Switch out ASAP. If not, have fun in hell. Oh, and try to go outside more. Slacking off won't get you anywhere.

kthxlol, Future you.

 

[ActionDan]

Do try to get out more, don't step on a branch that LOOKS like it could support you, and DO look both ways before crossing any road. Especially when you are riding a push scooter.

 

[chefassassin2]

"Dear younger me,
Have a cup of coffee and wait, THEN choose your words carefully on July 24, 2009.

Sincerely,
Older you.

 

[Gigawolf1]

Dear unenlightened past self,

You, sir, are severely lacking in confidence. Buy them, you'll get the chance to use them. It doesn't matter that her sister's there. Also, when she says no ferris wheel, she means it.

Sincerely,

Your Future Self

P.S. By the time you recieve this letter, you will have already figured out the obvious way to avoid a temporal paradox. Though my current self believes this to be uneccesary due to a belief in creation upon arrival, I would recommend taking the appropriate measures to avoid a fluctuation in effect.

 

[RufusMcLaser]

"DON'T MARRY THAT CHICK AFTER BOOT CAMP!!!"

I know a lot of people who would've benefited from that advice.

 

[SevenStarSonata]

Dearest Elizabeth,

You'll know him when you see him. He'll be everywhere you are during Orientation Week, and finally approach you on the bus to your IOA trip. He'll be the drop-dead gorgeous demi-god Adonis you drool an ocean over.

DO. NOT. FALL. FOR. HIM.

If you fall, you will fall HARD, and that fall will be the beginning of your end. A long, drawn-out, heart-crushing, mind-shattering end.

Just don't do it.

Instead, I recommend Hot Flixx up in Melbourne. Srsly, they have all you need for $70 or less, and you know what? Less drama, more vibrating, pulsating action.

I mean it. Dildo = good. Glorious mancreature = bad.

Sincerely yours,

You. (Yes, I mean you.)

 

[shwnbob]

"We watch you when you sleep Shawn..."

 

[Triforceformer]

Dear me going to the 6th Grade in 2006,

Get to know her better in 8th grade, it might work out and the gay jokes might stop.

Get those projects in on time ************!

Don't try to make any other friends besides Jordan, Stevon, Jalen, and sorta Torien, EVERYONE ELSE FUCKING HATES YOU...FOR PLAYING VIDEOGAMES!

Nick will move away a few weeks after you meet him, don't get attached.

Avoid Boy Scouts at all costs, all of them are douches, especially Pip.

Change the Router's security to WPA on your 12th Birthday, life will become a lot easier for you and your Wii.

Ask for a 360 other than an Arcade version for Christmas first, THEN get a Wii.

Join the Escapist earlier.

Let the Dog back in at night if she is still out, or you will regret it.

Get Psychonauts for the Ps2!

Also, the Creative Writing teacher may be a *****, but she is your ticket to in school internet, stay on her good side.

Try not to jack off as much.

Finally, here is a guitar, learn to play it and listen to Metallica and Michael Jackson now, they are fucking awesome.

Yours truly,
Triforceformer of 2009.

 

[DasHunterman]

Dear 4-ish year old Me:

Don't dance on the grating over a matenence shaft. Sure the grate's slats are too narrow for your body but there's always the gap between the grate and the wall.

 

[Cthulu2]

Dear me,
You make friends easily so don't sit on your arse waiting for people to reach out to you, it won't happen.
From future you.
P.S. As bad as things look now the world becomes a better place.

 

[A random person]

Dear Will,
You will have a choice between art and health in 8th grade. Whatever you do don't pick health, the teacher is a ***** and you will hate it with a passion. Pick art instead, which is actually somewhat interesting.

Start learning to program beyond those very basic things you did with Blitz Basic. Your mom's a webmaster, she should be able to help you.

Try to eat less and exercise more. Not really urgent, but your future self would benefit from being a bit thinner.

And one last but very important thing: there is a man named Billy Mays. He will die as it is of heart disease shortly after Michael Jackson dies in June of 2009. Do everything you can do to prevent his death. Also tell people that Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett die around June 25, 2009, just to freak people out.

 

[ClaptonKnophlerHendrix]

Dear Me
Hey good job on being so awesome.
Ok LEARN THE FUCKING GUITAR NOW! Start a band with Mitchell fuck Brendan, he doesnt know how to play.
Ask Sam out within days of meeting her, yes I know this'll be your first girlfriend and its so hard your so nervous I dont give a shit. Ask her out, I'm 5 years ahead of you and we're still going strong.
No that tree isn't going to move for you, swerve to avoid it.
Yours with awesomeness
You

 

[AbuFace]

Dear me.

Omfg I discovered a time machine.

I lol'd


Dear 14-year old me,

Don't worry, moving to a new town won't suck that bad, and nothing really bad will happen after that, but nothing good will happen either so you should prepare for a lot of boredom for at least the next 10 years.

And yes, you'll still be single.

 

[DoW Lowen]

Dear K,

First how are you? I would know so it's a stupid question. You're going to have a bit of a hard time mainly with girls. But here's some word of advice from the future -

1) When you danced that day with her, don't let her go. Trust me, she gets swooped up like a sheep in the middle of a field of hawks and you'll lose her forever.
2) Her best friend is not a substitute either, plus she looks thin now but a year or 2 down the track with you.... faaaaark.
3) The gay friend of yours is gay like you expected. And he thinks you're trying to take his potential lover from him. Just a note.

Love,
Future self

P.S - Also that blue shirt looked really gay on you, don't be fooled by that mirror.

 

[Magyarman]

Dear 10 year old me,

Learn to play an instrument. Any instrument. Seriously even spoons.
Do not go out with Kendra or Kelsie. In fact stay away from all Ks.
When your dating that German girl, do not bug for sex in the car. You will regret it.
Do not hang out with your cousin. Getting tased is not fun.
Get a job. Now.
In Junior year, do not drive the pickup to school. You flip it.
Stay with Horseback riding, its way more fun than football.
Start working out now, you don't want to be chubby in high school.
Start buying acne cream now. You'll need it.
When your going to BGA, you'll meet Jacob. He will become your best friend.
Do not take Physics or IED. They suck.
Don't try to be an engineer. You suck at it. Start taking other languages now, your good at it.
Your going to meet alot of girls in high school. You will think they like you. They are just being nice, do not ask them out.
(lotto numbers)

Your 18 year old self.
P.S. don't buy your friend that magazine. That girl you really like right now will be walking by as you come out with it.

 

[Sigel]

Lotto numbers for this date are #######

This was the first thing I thought of. Seemed an obvious thing to write.

Maybe I'm just greedy.

No, I think we are just both pratical(sp?. I mean come on, if you ever have that option, why wouldn't you give yourself some sort of financial advice. I don't know jack about stocks so lotto numbers it is.

 

[DoW Lowen]

Dear past me,

Once again some more advice, I'm still here so you fucked up. God you're a screw up. You need to pick your life up, you're stuck at home all the time. Sigh... learn an instrument, and learn German you've been telling yourself to learn it for years, you spent $20 on the CD program and you never touched it. Belle is still out of your reach even now, don't get so hung up on her. But hey you can't help it can you? God you're thick, it's that stupid idealistic and wishful thinking that gets you nowhere. If only you were able to be cruel, so many things would be different. Still... don't change.