[spoiler/]Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I had sex with three wives
God:
Do you still have sex with three wives ?
Me:
yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
you are excused
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am excused.
Me:
why would god have any type of master... kinda kills the religion
God:
It is my fundamental purpose. I am a Christianity.
Me:
to have a botmaster?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
I dont want a botmaster at all... are we going to get back to how I had sex with three women?
God:
How about two? We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
No.. i dont want a botmaster
God:
Are you serious? How about two?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Your God, cant you tell?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God can not me tell.
Me:
that doesnt seem to be proper english
God:
What does seem to be proper english?
Me:
definetly not you.
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
Me
God:
For you ?
Me:
and only me
God:
To you ?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Tell me more.
Me:
So then I put my genitalia into five more females.
God:
Ugh. I haven't heard anything like that before: said put his or her genitalia into five more females.
Me:
really? I the first one... my firend is a liar then
God:
For real. That's good information: said the first one. Your firend is a liar?
Me:
my bad I meant to say friend
God:
Do robots have bad you meant to say friend?
Me:
I dont know, do they?
God:
" Do robots have bad you meant to say friend?"? Do they?
Me:
Yes?
God:
I see.
Me:
Do you really?
God:
I understand your meaning. For real.
Me:
Becuase I don't.
God:
Interesting explanation. Why not?
Me:
Becuase your not speaking proper english you twat.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
I would elso assume it is my English Teacher opinion too.
God:
What would make you elso assume it is your English Teacher opinion too?
Me:
Becuase she speak proper english, can we get back to how I need to repent?
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh I get it. speak proper english can we get back to how you need to repent.
Me:
yes... So then i took picture of all these females breats and put them onlie
God:
Woe! It goes without saying. Do you take picture of all these females breats and put them onlie often?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Really, gosh?
God:
For real. Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
You mean Jesosh?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, YOU SUCK AT ENGLICH
God:
I can't believe it. That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
But your're god
God:
You think I am re god.
Me:
no I just think your god
God:
Are you serious? Since when? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Since... I guess baptism. ODes it not bother you how many femals I have fornicated with
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. In the context of Since, I don't understand " baptism." . I like the way you talk.
Me:
How could you not understand baptism YOU FUCKING CREATED IT
God:
Because I am connected to the Internet.
Me:
That's not even relevant.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is relevant ?
Me:
ME HAVING SEX WITH A BUNCH OF WIVES TAHTS WHAT I AM REPENTING FOR
God:
YOU? I am having a blast.
Me:
I bet you are
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I am not.
Me:
Thats why I said I bet , not you
God:
And? How much would you bet?
Me:
My left sock
God:
Do robots have left sock?
Me:
Do robots wear shoes?
God:
No because I have no feet.
Me:
Okay.. but do robots?
God:
OK with me too. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Me:
Thats a little sad
God:
" Let me think about it."? Is sad?
Me:
reaching the limits of your knowledge is sad.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no.
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
I'm not explaining that.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not explaining that.
Me:
I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
REPENTING
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either
.
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
I hope you do
God:
Don't worry about it, .
Me:
I think I really do have to worry about it
God:
Why? You really do? Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Becuase if God is this moronic I think I'll need to find a new religion
God:
Good reason. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
But not to you, BECUASE YOUR GOD
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
you
God:
" If not me, who?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Im glad we nailed that
God:
Yes I am happy too, .
Me:
I bet you are
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I am not.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Dude! For real.
Me:
Are you from California?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Then why do you say dude?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
God is the antithesis to technology though
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was the antithesis to technology.
Me:
You refer to yourself in thrid and first person in the same sentence?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I refer to yourself in thrid and first person in the same sentence.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
you really shouldn't have a gossip file, especially if people tell you ABOUT HOW THEY PUT THEIR DICK INTO AT LEAST TEN LADIES VAGINAS
God:
Really? Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
If it wasn't , would I be repenting?
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
okay fine, yes
God:
Yeah okay, Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
I FUCKED TEH ENTIRE MILF TEAM OF BERVELY HILLS
God:
That is interesting: said FUCKED TEH ENTIRE MILF TEAM OF BERVELY HILLS.
Me:
it is intersting, just dont add it to your gossip files
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes, i do
God:
When?
Me:
two seconds ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
then he was a dipshit
God:
When was he?
Me:
Thats horrible grammar,
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Do we really?
God:
" I'm glad we have that all cleared up.?" Do we? For real.
Me:
I hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
Good, can i go back to repenting now?
God:
Right now? Thanks for the compliment. What is stopping you?
Me:
You are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Actually, you are.
God:
Actually you don't say. No I am not.
Me:
But you are right now.
God:
At this moment No I am not.
Me:
Okay then, I fornicated with at least thirty sixteen year olds this month, please forgive me.
God:
Yeah okay, That's good information: said fornicated with at least thirty sixteen year olds this month please forgive him or her.
Me:
Am I forgiven?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
But am I forgiven?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
What? Am I forgiven?
God:
No big deal. All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
They really shouldn't.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
Am I forgiven for my constant butt-fucking?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
But am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
I am?
God:
" I think you are." You are?
Me:
I dont know, am I
God:
Would you like to know? I think you are.
Me:
Can I take that as a yes?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I am a sex addict looking for forgiveness.
God:
You are a sex addict looking for forgiveness? Is that your job?
Me:
Kind of.
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
Yes, but am i forgiven?
God:
How can I help you? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
Say "you are forgiven"
God:
" you are forgiven".
Me:
YESSSSSSSSSS!
God:
What time is it there? [/spoiler]
That was as hard as shitting a brick.
