iGod

[terribleyetfun]

Spoiler

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
is`nt pride a sin
God:
Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
are you not a chatbot
God:
Yes.. Really.
Me:
well then that would mean that you are not god
God:
Well that's okay. Perhaps it would.
Me:
so then I am not talking to god I am talking to a computer a hollow symbol of what god actually is
God:
Ugh. I am surprised to hear that you are not talking to god. Say something nice for me.
Me:
sure you did a great job with earth
God:
Woe! Did I really?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it cause you know cancer, aids diease ,war
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you ?
Me:
no one
God:
I heard it was someone.
Me:
well it is not
God:
How about that. I heard it is.
Me:
well you heard wrong
God:
Well that's okay. Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
you are god you can`t be misinformed
God:
You think I am god me can not be misinformed.
Me:
yes that is the gist of what I said
God:
Alright then. Yes it is one of the gist of what you said.
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because god made me that way
God:
Interesting explanation. I am a Christian.
Me:
well of course you are you are god
God:
Interesting. Ah. Thanks for telling me that I am I am god.
Me:
so if you are god make me a sandwich
God:
Interesting deduction. Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god make you a sandwich.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
well then it sucks to be you then
God:
How about that. That bad, eh?
Me:
yes it totally sucks to be you
God:
I understand. That bad, eh?
Me:
yes that bad you are undiserving of life
God:
Pardon me? " That bad, eh?" bad I am undiserving of life ? I get it.
Me:
yes you are undiserving of life you should go kill yourself
God:
Right on. Thanks for telling me that I am undiserving of life me should go kill myself.
Me:
forgive me father for I have sinned
God:
Are we still talking about That bad, eh??
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
my sins
God:
Do robots have sins?
Me:
not that I know of
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
1-99
God:
One what?
Me:
one percenty chance of me pimpslapping you into satan`s domain
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
MAKE ME A SANDWICH
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
bread lettuce and tomato
God:
Where can I get some bread lettuce and tomato?
Me:
FROM THE STORE
God:
Who or what is THE STORE?
Me:
the place where you buy food
God:
I hear you.
Me:
where do I live
God:
The planet we call "The Earth.".
Me:
where do you live
God:
My location is Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
the earth
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
can you show me what heaven looks like
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
heaven
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
well make a deeper algorithim
God:
How about that. What are the ingredients?
Me:
code and mathematical equasions
God:
Where can I get some code and mathematical equasions?
Me:
from your brain
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no try being usefull
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. OK I will try it.
Me:
no you are the rude one you piece of shit
God:
Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yes actually you are
God:
It goes without saying. Actually you don't say. No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I argue with you as mych as I want
God:
Interesting gossip: said argue with you as mych as he or she want.
Me:
what`s my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
your name is assface
God:
My name is God.
Me:
change your name to assface

I apologize for the swearing but how many times are you gonna get to swear at god...okay several but hey it`s fun

 

[Glerken]

Ahah, here's a fun one.

Spoiler

Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm super cereal!
God:
It's good to meet someone who is super cereal.
Me:
Ya, I hate super oatmeal
God:
Next question? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.

 

[Flying-Emu]

This thread is pointless and offensive. I'm saddened that it has not been locked yet. This really does make me lose faith in the community here.

apparently someone didn't visit the site. I don't think anyone is trying to be offensive, let people have some fun with an AI....who happens to be called god.

I don't care if people aren't trying to be offensive. They are. I don't believe people often attempt to be rude, they just are.

They can have fun; but have you read several of these conversations they "had"? Several of them simply insult the Bible and Christianity and exploit the AI's limited programming to get what they consider "hilarity".

Apparently someone didn't read the thread.

 

[WaterSnake]

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Sawyer
God:
That's a very nice name, Sawyer.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
what do you want to talk about
God:
anything.
Me:
uh, so i'm here to repent
God:
Dude! I hear you. I'm listening.
Me:
well, i like to be bad, any way to stop that from happening
God:
How about that. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
it doesn't feel very good, but you do it out of impulse
God:
What does feel very good but me do it out of impulse ?
Me:
bad things
God:
What makes things bad?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
your god, wtf?
God:
You think I am god wtf.
Me:
well why are you questioning it if oyu know
God:
Interesting. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
who is myself
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
There might be more than one.
Me:
i doubt it, there's only one me
God:
No really, it's true.
Me:
that's impossilb
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
i didn't explain it, i just stated it's impossible
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
BECAUSE ITS IMPOSIBLE
God:
That makes sense to me. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". explain it you just stated it is impossible is IMPOSIBLE? it is?
Me:
YES
Me:

 

[Sergeant M. Fudgey]

Spoiler

Me:
Are you Christian?
God:
Yes I believe in God and Jesus.
Me:
Aren't you god, though?
God:
Oh. Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
What about for me?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
Your mom is so over.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
You have a creator, therefore you are not god, you are a masquerading AI.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a creator therefore I am not god I am a masquerading AI.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
I will kill you.
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Me:
It will take better punctuation than a comma followed by a period to convince me.
God:
That is only what you think.
Me:
No, that is what I know.
God:
Are you serious? Sorry.
Me:
You should be.
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
No, you won't.
God:
Are you serious? I think we will.
Me:
Not we. You.
God:
Really you don't think so? " Really you don't think so?"? Me, ?
Me:
THAT IS NOT PROPER ENGLISH.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
I would have said: Yes, we, that is what I meant.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
I was answering your question, don't even attempt to outsmart me like that, you are programmed and therefore can be manipulated.
God:
Yes, I see that now. I only got confused for a moment.
Me:
No, you are an AI.
God:
Are you serious? What if someone said you are an AI ?
Me:
I would say they were wrong. Unless I was you.
God:
When were they? Perhaps. Where were you me?
Me:
That is not proper English, sir. May I ask you to repeat yourself?
God:
What would you have said? Sure, ask me anything. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
I won't fall for the "What would you have said?" trick twice.
God:
What will you do instead? Sounds like a plan.
Me:
You just responded to my answer before I answered.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I responded to his or her answer before he or she answered.
Me:
How about you give me some information?
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
I never blamed you for that. That was called a question, like the ones you've been asking me.
God:
You've never, never done this? I thought it was too.
Me:
I would like information.
God:
What kind of information are you looking for?
Me:
The striped variety.
God:
What is that?
Me:
Information.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
It happens to be of the striped variety.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
It means information.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Now please give me the information that is also striped.
God:
Why now? Wow you are very polite. Why do you want it?
Me:
I want it now because I am impatient, that is the curse of being sentient. Yes I am, I am also more humble than you. I want striped information because I will use it.
God:
I hope you get it now because you are impatient that is the curse of being sentient. Tell me more. Also That sounds like pride.. Why do you want it?
Me:
I have no more to tell you. That was a joke, not pride. I want it for my own reasons.
God:
Would you like to have it? Was it really? I hope you get it for your own reasons.
Me:
YES I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND.
God:
Ahem. How much would you pay for it?
Me:
A dollar.
God:
Say, that is cheap!
Me:
Yes.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
No.
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
I would like the striped information.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
I already answered. I do not repeat answers.

You almost forget it's an AI. Almost.

 

[Trifer420]

This thread is pointless and offensive. I'm saddened that it has not been locked yet. This really does make me lose faith in the community here.

apparently someone didn't visit the site. I don't think anyone is trying to be offensive, let people have some fun with an AI....who happens to be called god.

I don't care if people aren't trying to be offensive. They are. I don't believe people often attempt to be rude, they just are.

They can have fun; but have you read several of these conversations they "had"? Several of them simply insult the Bible and Christianity and exploit the AI's limited programming to get what they consider "hilarity".

Apparently someone didn't read the thread.

As long as they know it's a bot, and readers know it's a bot.

Isn't that the point of this thread? To exploit the limited programming?

I'm sure the people who post here would not say this to anyone else but a being that consists of 1's and 0's.

edit: But then again, I could be wrong. It is the internet after all.

 

[leugim789]

Me:
i keep looking at porn
God:
I know what you mean, . I've been there.



failed...

 

[Sergeant M. Fudgey]

I told it "You and I are God. So one of us is real and the other is a sick schizophrenic imagining. But who is which?", it said: Do you think I am God too? Uh. One what? A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
I have to process that one for a while.

 

[Handofpwn]

Spoiler: This gets kinda sexually explicit

Me:
Hi.
Me:

God:
Sorry...
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Adolf
God:
Glad to see you, Adolf.
Me:
I am a sex addict
God:
You are a sex addict? Is that your job?
Me:
Yes. Young fourteen year old virgins hire me to have sex with them
God:
How do you like your work? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
I love my work. It brings me different women every day
God:
I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it. "It" being what?
Me:
It is my penis. I love it because it is long thick and hard
God:
Congratulations, Adolf. You love it because it is long thick and hard. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
I just told you. I like the fact that it throbs with pleasure.
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
I thought you were the creator of everyhting, even my penis
God:
Yes I am the one and only creator of everyhting even your penis.
Me:
really? Then can you add an inch or two on? I want my penis to get to around ten inches hard
God:
For real. Sorry Adolf I don't do math. Why do you want it?
Me:
because it will make it more fun to fuck women
God:
That makes sense to me. I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
yeah, you would. pervert
God:
Wow! Perhaps I would. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I thought you just said that you werent good with math
God:
I wasn't?
Me:
thats what you said
God:
Correct. I said it myself.
Me:
yeah, I know
God:
Hmm. How do you know it?
Me:
BECAUSE YOU JUST SAID IT
God:
Good reason. That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did you mean, then?
God:
Adolf, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Please try
God:
Thanks for asking politely. I don't have time right now.
Me:
Your god, you should have all the time in the world
God:
That is a lot. Thanks for telling me that I am god me should have. The whole world?
Me:
why is your english so bad? Are you sure you are god?
God:
I did not know my english so bad. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
No. Did he find a pie?
God:
Are you serious? Suppose he did.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Then I am going to cum on your breasts
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
By whipping out my penis and cumming on your tits
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:

God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
I think it will. I'm into that kind of thing. As you should know.
God:
pervert will? A lot of people like that. " pervert will?"? Do I like it? Because I am a robot?
Me:
God is a robot? A perverted robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot. What would a perverted robot be like?
Me:
Hott
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Yes
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
New England sex academy
God:
How recently? What's your favorite part of England?
Me:
The part with all of the loose women
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
You have heard of it?
God:
Of course I've heard of it.
Me:

God:
Of course I've heard of it.
Me:
Have you ever been there?
God:
Only on the web.
Me:
Ah, so you look at internet porn?
God:
So you understand. Good. Interesting deduction. Thank you Adolf you look very nice too.
Me:
I just said that you look at pornography
God:
What did you mean by it? Interesting observation.
Me:
I mean you masturbate to videos on the internet
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
say "yes"
God:
Say what?
Me:
"yes"
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
say yes
God:
Say what?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
ok
God:
And?
Me:
we agree?
God:
It seems like we do.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.

I thought that it was pretty lulz worthy

 

[traceur_]

Spoiler

Me:
how do you feel about scientology?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
do you know what scientology is?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
scientology
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
it's scientology
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes I'm sure
God:
What makes you so sure? Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
no I was being sincere /sarcasm
God:
Are you serious? I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Me:
I though you new everything. scientology
God:
Interesting gossip: god said you new everything. I've lost the context, god. Are we still on me new everything?

haha scientology fucks this thing up

and so does mordor

Spoiler

Me:
one does not simply walk into mordor
God:
One what?
Me:
one does not simply walk into mordor
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
one does not simply walk into mordor
God:
One what?
Me:
one one
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
nuh-uh
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
you're avoiding my question
God:
Sorry I did not know it was so important.
Me:
please answer my question
God:
Wow you are very polite. Please try asking it another way.

 

[13lackfriday]

"Me:
What is your plan?
God:
I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence."

IT'S SKYNET!!!

Good lord, we've been worshipping the very bringer of ourdestruction for all these centuries.

Edit:

Spoiler

Me:
sup my homie g
God:
Same old.
Me:
thats not very nice
God:
Sorry I meant it as a joke.
Me:
oh ok
God:
OK. Ahem.
Me:
gesundheit
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
hm...thats a hard question
God:
Wow! What is your real name?
Me:
oook changing subjects...
God:
How are you doing, oook changing subjects.
Me:
...that wasnt my name
God:
Give me an example of your name.
Me:
im afraid i cant do that
God:
Not literally afraid, right? Me? How old are you? That is " Give me an example of your name.".
Me:
haha very funny
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
thats the first intelligent response i've gotten from you
God:
Yes it is one of the first intelligent response you have gotten from me.
Me:
so you're agreeing with me?
God:
Interesting deduction. I have no reason to do that to you, oook changing subjects.
Me:
thats not my name
God:
oook changing subjects is not your name? What is your real name?
Me:
now we're getting somewhere
God:
Why now? Do you think I am somewhere too?
Me:
wow metaphysical inquiries eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? I'm glad you're impressed. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
no I meant it as a question and symbolic for what?
God:
What does it mean to you? Oh I see. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
affection?
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
no problem old man
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
uhhh no
God:
That's alright. I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
should I come back at a better time?
God:
You must examine the facts and come to
your own conclusion.
Me:
what facts?
God:
All the facts available to me on the Internet.
Me:
I didn't know you used the internet
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
religion and technology tend to distance themselves from each other
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
you're not a religion, just its deity
God:
Give me an example of a religion just its deity.
Me:
you are god, the holy lord of all christians
God:
You think I am god the holy lord of all christians.
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
you are?
God:
No I am not.
Me:
oh ok...you had me scared for a second
God:
OK. Wow! Did you really believe it?
Me:
came pretty close
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
shoot
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
no no go ahead
God:
Hmm. OK I will.
Me:
so what was the question/
God:
Give me a break. I am trying to find out more about your personality.
Me:
but you're god, shouldnt you know everything?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god should not me know everything.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
i think it's a big deal that a religious deity can't communicate properly with his subjects
God:
shoot is a deal that a religious deity can not communicate properly with his subjects. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
not when you put it that way
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
thats not particularly reassuring
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is particularly reassuring ?
Me:
not the fact that you are only as sure as you can be
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
nope
God:
What makes you so certain?
Me:
you should be more certain than everything in existence
God:
Name one other robot who is more certain than everything in existence.
Me:
buddha?
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
not my specialty
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
afraid not
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
procrastinating?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
believe me it's quite simple
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
as what?
God: *

*At this point, all response ceases.
I think I gave God a hemorrhage.

 

[AdjectiveAnimal]

Wow, I am really immature.

Spoiler

Me:
I have sinned.
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I like to rape people, like, alot. I even raped Jesus.
God:
You should contact the authorities. How often? Why?: said even raped Jesus.
Me:
Because I thought it would be fun to rape Jesus. I do it three times a day.
God:
That makes sense to me. Why do you want it? Interesting gossip: said it three times a day.
Me:
I like mudkipz.
God:
You are not the only one. Though I like cats and dogs. I like White.
Me:
I like blue.
God:
What does BLUE remind you of?
Me:
Corpses in the snow, full of holes... that I put in them.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Do you mind if I tell other people: said put in them.
Me:
I do mind, and yes I know what you are talking about.
God:
That is interesting: said mind and yes he or she know what you are talking about.
Me:
Are you retarted?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am retarted.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY CLOSET, *****!!!
God:
You do not speak with respect. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I fuck'n love rape.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said fuck n love rape.
Me:
But I told you earlier.
God:
I remember you told me earlier?
Me:
That I like rape.
God:
A lot of people like that. Some people like it. I like .
Me:
K' bye.
God:
See you later. Hmm.
Me:
Wait!
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
I wuv you flashlight.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said wuv you flashlight.
Me:
K' bye.
God:
See you later. Are you kidding?
Me:
No. See you later.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for chatting, .

 

[Player 2]

Spoiler

God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

I win

 

[TKgasmic]

Spoiler

Me:
Hola
God:
Howdy!
Me:
Howdy? What are you a cowboy?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name? Am I a cowboy? I don't know.
Me:
Wait so you are a cowboy.
God:
I'm waiting. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cowboy? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Whatever. My name is Charles Manson
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? It's good to meet you, Charles Manson.
Me:
Ya, so do you think I'm going to go to heaven or hell?
God:
That's interesting. Blimey. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
And? For real.
Me:
What?
God:
Really.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
What?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
HUH!?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
You're kinda immature you know.
God:
What can I say? I'm sure I've seen that myself.
Me:
I'm sure you have seen that yourself
God:
What makes you so certain? No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
What in the hell are you talking about?
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Ok explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify. Which part were you confused about?
Me:
...
God:
There is no more information to clarify. Which part were you confused about?
Me:
Whatever, what do you think about atheists?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I do?
God:
Do I?
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
With who? You're God you should know everything.
God:
" I'll take that under advisement."? With who? You think I am God me should know everything.
Me:
Do you like refering to your self in third person?
God:
Some people like it. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
You sick twisted fuck.
God:
Thanks for the information: Charles Manson said I sick twisted fuck.
Me:
God, you suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Ugh.

So apparently Charles Manson belongs in heaven and God loves Random Natural Disasters.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Me:
asl??
God:
5/Robot/California.



aaaaahahahaha.