"I'm already dating somebody else."

[Playbahnosh]

[lost of stuff, and...]
EDIT: Also I'm not hiding anything . I'd never cheat on anyone it's that simple. If I was in a relationship and I found someone else attractive I'd end up being up front with my mate and tell her how I feel about someone else.

You speak the truth. I agree, the more people are in a relationship it gets more complicated. BUT! A family is a form of loving relationship too, isn't it? And there are more than two people in that relationship. A family is complicated, but if the members can all trust each other, know each other and respect each other, it can work. I don't see why a romantic relationship is different...

And yes, the first and foremost thing, the most important thing is honesty.

 

[nekolux]

I wouldn't say i'm extremely experienced in this subject however let me just add my 2 cents here ( 3 cents SGD since USD to SGD is now 1.5 cause my government very cleverly inflated our dollar so no one would notice the recession very much.... i digress )

I think the boundaries of your relationship should be mapped out from the start. Are you ok with a threesome? Are you fine if i date someone else while we're dating? All this should be declared right at the start of the relationship, much like a global variable is declared before any other functions are started or like how you have to declare the size of your array as you declare the array, you cant leave it as a variable or you're asking for an overflow possibly corrupting the memory near it and potentially causing some programs to not work.
As long as everything was agreed about beforehand and no one's toying with someone else then it's fine. The term that we use is " Cheating on someone " there's a reason for that. Like mentioned above, the part that really condemns you is the " behind your back " part, if it's agreed by both parties and everyone's fine with it then it's not a problem.

IMO if you're open minded enough for a polygamous relationship but your partner isn't, then work it out between the 2 of you. Dont do it behind his/her back.

 

[Zer_]

IMO if you're open minded enough for a polygamous relationship but your partner isn't, then work it out between the 2 of you. Dont do it behind his/her back.

Yeah, what you just said, hehe.

I mean to me there's no problem in going up to your girlfriend and saying. "Dude this chick is so hot, I'd totally bone her, can I bone her?! I won't do it if you don't want me to though."

 

[nekolux]

IMO if you're open minded enough for a polygamous relationship but your partner isn't, then work it out between the 2 of you. Dont do it behind his/her back.

Yeah, what you just said, hehe.

I mean to me there's no problem in going up to your girlfriend and saying. "Dude this chick is so hot, I'd totally bone her, can I bone her?! I won't do it if you don't want me to though."

*gapes as summer glau walks pass* " Honey can i please try and hit on her? I mean if she's even interested and if you allow it of course =P "

 

[Zykon TheLich]

I haven't read the article properly because I'm a lazy bastard who cares nothing for other peoples opinions, but I will say this:

It's possible to be involved with 2 people of whatever gender turns you on (women in my case, lets just be clear about that ) and to love them both to a degree, more than a friend but not quite the full package. As far as full on 'oh god I think my heart just melted' love I don't think it would be possible, for me at least, it's just too all consuming.

 

[sky14kemea]

i think its possible to love more than 1 person at once, but is it fair to date both of them?
your right that stereotypically, people believe relationships should be exclusive, which i also agree with
although ive never had this problem because im still waaay too young for dating and stuff
1 thought, its fine to love more than 1 person, but its probably bad to marry more than 1 person?

 

[Locust]

It's possible but it always collapses and certainly never works.

For example, in my last relationship I knew a girl for a while and never knew she had a boyfriend until after I fell for her. She didn't seem to mind it and thought "well, no reason I can't give you a chance :3". She did genuinely love me for a while and eventually she just couldn't live with two and ended up dragging me through six months of hell because she couldn't just drop me. She deliberately got me to hate her along with me staying up all night worried about what she was doing with this other guy. The mental strain isn't fun at all and the amount of hurt and jealousy one will experience in such a relationship is unhealthy. It might be simple for you if you're the one with two partners and don't care, it's not like it's going to be stressful if you've got two guys/girls to yourself. For both of your partners though, they're going to be really stressed, envious and depressed from it unless ofcourse they're just in it out of sexual attraction, in which case, is it really true love? I originally came to the Escapist to help deal with the depression of having to go through that, so really, in my personal opinion it's one of the most horrible experiences one could go through.

 

[INF1NIT3 D00M]

I cannot and will not speak for anyone but myself here. (at least not on purpose, please keep it in mind. I'm a jerk but for benevolent deity's sake, I try...)

I love my girlfriend. She makes me smile, and she makes me laugh. Sometimes she makes me think, sometimes she makes me question her sanity. She does for me what others don't, and indeed can't. I would like to think that I do the same for her. It becomes less about limiting yourself, less about stifling your love life, and more about realizing that nobody does for you what they do for you. If you need two girls/guys to satisfy you (as more than just a fantasy or an experiment) then are either of them truly any good for you?
I could never let anyone else get with my girlfriend. It completely undermines me. If she needs another person, then I am not good enough as I am, something about me either doesn't satisfy her or annoys her enough to look elsewhere. That, and I don't truly deserve her if I cannot make her happy. She shouldn't need anyone else for anything romantic if I am doing a good job.
Even on the primal level, normal intercourse to create a child can only be had by two people, unless you take turns. That is, in my thinking, why most people only have one mate, and why our society (at least where I come from) frowns upon polygamy. I have no problem with it, and have had many a daydream, but I just can't imagine caring for anyone else the way I care for my girl. Also, for every extra mate you take, that's one more fish you take from the metaphorical sea. Does one less person finds happiness because you took on an extra mate? I dont know, but I have no interest in finding out.

 

[PurpleRain]

Well, I'm just not attracted to anyone else. I can consider someone good looking or charming, but any romantic thoughts are stopped immediately because I already have a superior specimen. I know nobody else is going to make me happier. I expect him to be faithful to me because the biggest kick I get is how we're on the same page, and if he fancied other women we just wouldn't be experiencing the same thing.

Basically. They aren't you so that kind of kills it.

Liam Neeson on the other hand...

 

[Berethond]

Liam Neeson on the other hand...

Liam Neeson almost makes me wish I was gay.