2% survival rate...Booze Zombie said:
I don't think we can pick our posting, just assume you're a normal soldier.shippuudenfreak said:
Imperial Guard
- Thread starter KING BOB 2896
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Go chaos and get 'promoted' to a chaos marine or somthign like that...
Supposeing I survive the first five seconds of my life as a guardsman because as imperial guard go- you're either shot by the commissar Nazi who is busy trying to keep you from running away and thus ensuring a win... so he kills his own men in great numbers.. I think commisars are chaos really..
Or
You're generally conisered mass cannon fodder that detracts attention from the mass amounts of tanks the Imperial Guard have a love of using...
Supposeing I survive the first five seconds of my life as a guardsman because as imperial guard go- you're either shot by the commissar Nazi who is busy trying to keep you from running away and thus ensuring a win... so he kills his own men in great numbers.. I think commisars are chaos really..
Or
You're generally conisered mass cannon fodder that detracts attention from the mass amounts of tanks the Imperial Guard have a love of using...
Are you 10 years old and male?scotth266 said:
Space Marines are recruited as children because they use puberty as a catalyst for the gene seeding and it doesn't work on girls (as the Emporor only made male Primarchs although the missing one could've been a girl it's highly unlikely)
I'd like to be a teacher at the Imperial Guard officer's acadamy of Tallum (I think it was Tallum) and learn to be a commisar of the Ciaphas Cain school of Commisars (the philosphy that most commisars die from being shot in the back, so if you use positive reinforcment the chances of you and your troops all dying are lower.
Sapce Marines are honorable wariors that serve the Emperor of Man to protect all of humanity from the xenos, the heretic and the witch.Vrex360 said:Space marines are pussies who cower in big armour and follow ludicrous ideologies of superiority so as to give them some false belief that they have the right to do truly immoral things. Any emporer who leads his people like that should be six feet under not at the top. I'll never compromise this view.KING BOB 2896 said:Try to do that to a Space Marine and you will be crushed under his boot for the glory of the Emperor of Man.Vrex360 said:Don't you start with the whole 'humans are superiour to everything else in every way' BS you know as well as I do that humans are weak. The imperium of man has a single destiny, I'll be picking the imperium of man's remains out of my teeth thank you very much.KING BOB 2896 said:Well too bad you want to be a Kroot for as Inquisitor Lucretius VII says, "It is our destiny to rule the universe just as it is the destiny of the xeno to pave our way."Vrex360 said:For me it would be either the Tau or the Tyranids just because I like aliens and hate humans.
Most likely Tau specifically because I love Kroot.
Hell yeah these guys over humans anyday, if you disagree I'll eat you.
So too bad you want to be an alien for it will be your destiny to die at the hands of the Imperium of Man.
So if mister big pussy Space marine tries anything I'll simply eat his foot, then slowly tear him to pieces and make him watch as I carve him up. I hate human supremacists Bob, you know that.
In a final answer to your question I would be an Kroot philosopher.
And for your information a Space Marine would cut you down with his chainsword or shoot you down with a bullet the size or you own head before you could even scratch his armor.
Probably the same as 80-99% of most Guardsmen: I'd be "volunteered" to "serve" the Emperor in the trenches, and would get shot dead in 0.5 seconds.
If I'm lucky, I can fire off my lasgun. If I'm REALLY lucky, maybe it'll nick something's armor. And if the Emperor is truly with me, the shot that would've killed me just barely missed me, and I'd have time to turn around and crap my Munitorium-sanctioned fatigues when I see exactly what shot at me.
If I'm lucky, I can fire off my lasgun. If I'm REALLY lucky, maybe it'll nick something's armor. And if the Emperor is truly with me, the shot that would've killed me just barely missed me, and I'd have time to turn around and crap my Munitorium-sanctioned fatigues when I see exactly what shot at me.
Convincingly blow off both my legs with some explosives and get a desk job like that guy in Starship troopers. If I'm feeling really lucky try for a posting in logistics and supply and start up a black market a la Buffalo soldiers.
Of course, there's the odd (read: HIGH) chance your Lieutenant will simply shoot you for being a "waste of useful resources".Whiskyjakk said:
Because officers are dicks in that sense.
Chances are I'd get sent to a frontier somewhere, then the tyranids come...and my friends and I all die in numerous horrific ways.
I would aim for the eyes, always the eyes. Its not like a highpowered torch is gonna hurt anyone, but it can blind them long enough for me to get teh fuck out of there.
With any luck I'd be posted as heavy weapon trooper or sniper, thus getting to sit further away and have half a chance to kill something. Oh and pray not to be given any plasma weaponry, then I'm just asking for death.
Regiment wise, I'd prefer to be in the Praetorian Guard, they just have such nice uniforms, fight in a gentlemanly manner. You know, with the red uniform, old bugeyed can't see when you bleed, what what, cucumber sandwiches, etc.
With any luck I'd be posted as heavy weapon trooper or sniper, thus getting to sit further away and have half a chance to kill something. Oh and pray not to be given any plasma weaponry, then I'm just asking for death.
Regiment wise, I'd prefer to be in the Praetorian Guard, they just have such nice uniforms, fight in a gentlemanly manner. You know, with the red uniform, old bugeyed can't see when you bleed, what what, cucumber sandwiches, etc.
Shame its Mars cultists and titam divisions that staff them, not the IG.kaiZie said:
Seriously, IG get the crappest of jobs :/
Most likely? Shoot a few dudes then get shot and bleed to death. It's a grunts life, for every hero and survivor theres thousands/millions who died. If I did survive a while, I'd be extremely devout. I'd pray a lot, engage in a lot of the "Burn the heretic" type thinking, and maybe if I'm lucky get assigned to an easy post. In a battle though I don't think I'd ever run away from the enemy, barring Chaos demon or something, I'd be terrified, but I'd rather die after killing a few enemies than get shot in the back. Looking at tactics, I'd stay low, move fast and stay quiet, might even survive for a month or two.
True.....and one of those pics is a Choas Mars pattern titan, and the other is someones home made titan, BUUUT thats not the point, whos to say i cant join the IG and instantly get promoted to titan division as a support troop only to worm my way in to the cockpit of a titan?? of course, id have to get past all those trigger happy commisarsWolfLordAndy said:
Try to sweet talk the regimental commissar into making me his personal aide.
'I can be really useful and stuff... ummm. burn the heretic! get back here and fight cowards! errr.... um... so do I get the job?'
'I can be really useful and stuff... ummm. burn the heretic! get back here and fight cowards! errr.... um... so do I get the job?'