Imperial Guard

[eatenbyagrue]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

You mean, surrounded by an army of overzealous, angry battle nuns.. with guns - women?
I'm gonna go on a leap of faith and assume it won't be long before they "purge the heretic" in you.

..with flamers.

Lots of flamers.

And more flamers, just to be sure they did the job right.

And maybe a melta gun for the lulz (if the Sisters know how to experience "lulz")

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

I'd defect to Tau on the first oppurtunity, of course.

 

[PurpleRain]

Try to be posted on a feral planet, get myself lost in the jungle and try to live out a life there.

Feral planet turns out to be Catachan and you get eaten by an ant.

Me? I'd shoot my commander mid battle and leg it back to the ships we'd land in, claiming to be wounded and helpless. They take me to the medical bay, the ship retreats after a wasteful loss. Repeat every battle until I get too old and can retire. Wait, can they retire?

i'd survive longer than i would in battle. also i'm less afraid of the ant than i am of the mosquitos. filthy creatures they are

Really? Catachan. *Ahem*
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Catachan
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Catachan_Jungle_Fighters

You'd survive longer in battle my friend. You time on the planet would be, "Hey, what a strange world. Oh, look, a pretty flowe-" death.

I'd rather face the waves of Nid's then that.

 

[Jamous]

I'd try my best to go AWOL without being discovered. Maybe go Chaos, or just try to disappear. If not, then try to survive till I can get a Baneblade/titan/something better.

Hope that you get sent to a hive world to quell a rebellious hive?
thats your best chance.. then just take a chimera under the guise of a crack commando unit and drive the other way when no one is looking... slip into a hive and disappear...

sounds like a plan

If so then that sounds awesome.

 

[headshotcatcher]

I'd apply for Ogryn

 

[Aunel]

why is everybody here so tau fanboy?
why no eldar, if I were a guardsman, I would if I could have gone to eldar
but they would have used me as a meat shield too...

 

[Jandau]

I'd likely be a sanctioned Psyker and therefore attached to the Command Squad. With a little luck, I'd manage to avoid most of the fighting and not get my head blown up by the forces of the warp. Good times...

EDIT: BArring that, defect to the Tau and join the Gue'Vesa corps. A Pulse Rifle beats a Lasgun and Tau commanders tend to be a bit more competent that Imperial ones and their favoured "meat grinder" strategem...

 

[The Hitman]

"For every one of us who dies, TEN more will take his place" - it think this kinda sums them up!

 

[A Raging Emo]

Stop! You violated the... Oh, wait, 40K, nevermind...

 

[Vrex360]

For me it would be either the Tau or the Tyranids just because I like aliens and hate humans.
Most likely Tau specifically because I love Kroot.

Hell yeah these guys over humans anyday, if you disagree I'll eat you.

Eat me

*Picks up knife and fork, elegantly places a bib over chest, licks lips. Take Bladerunner and douses him with some salt.*

Yummy, yummy.

*chomp, chew, chew, chew*

BUUUUUURRRRRPPPP!

*spits out bones*

 

[blackcherry]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

Remember, these are women who are religious fanatics. You make a pass at them or do something as silly as coughing at a service, before you can scream 'heratic' out come the flamers...

 

[blackcherry]

As long as I was in the seat of a tank, pretty well.
If I was on foot, I'd learn how to run really, really fast when the Commissar wasn't looking.

Oh, you can't. Even Marnius Calgar would get his ass whooped by a Commissar. And he has so much plot armour he may as well be a Chaos God.

Edit:darn, double post. Sorry.

 

[Simriel]

Be A Commissar.

 

[Biek]

Id pray I end up controlling a vehicle, since mechanized warfare is one of the imperial guards stronger points.

 

[Simriel]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

Remember, these are women who are religious fanatics. You make a pass at them or do something as silly as coughing at a service, before you can scream 'heratic' out come the flamers...

SOB are not Celibate. They are allowed, and DO have sex.

 

[grinklehi]

I would probably take a charging step forward, start a battle cry, then get blown to bits by an artillery shell that wipes out me, my troop, and the troop carrier that we came in on. Assuming I actually survived longer then 2 seconds, I would probably end up cleaved in half by an ork Choppa' or a chainsword, then I would stand in line for about a century waiting for my turn to see the Emperor for long enough to be told I did well, here's your reward, bye-bye now. Hell, even the Squigs have it better then I would.

 

[MasterSqueak]

why is everybody here so tau fanboy?
why no eldar, if I were a guardsman, I would if I could have gone to eldar
but they would have used me as a meat shield too...

Tau actually accept humans, Eldar shoot you.

Awesome Fire Warrior or dead Eldar shield?

 

[GruntOwner]

I would pray that I ended up only ever fighting chaos cultists. Sure, they've got the occasional mutant and maybe a lesser daemon or 2, but if the alternatives are The Traitor Legions, the filthy xenos and the horrors of the warp, a load of corrupt PDF seems like a field trip. Then again, if I believed half the crap form the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, I'd probably try and take on a tyranid warrior in melee. If I were lucky enough to be ambushed in melee and not just fired upon with fleshborers.

 

[EscapeGoat_v1legacy]

I'd fight for the glory of the Emperor, and then I'd run away for the glory of the Imperium and then...well, I'd probably get killed by either side, but what I plan to do is have some tea and crumpets because I'm so insufferably British. Oh, and maybe some scones. You know, like, all Imperial Guard Generals seem to do in every single novel.

 

[GazJD]

Hmm, well, I could always get 'lost' on the transport ship ... i mean those things are massive with entire sections not being vistied in a few hundred years or so ... and hopefully bump into a deserters colony or start one up.

Or

Lead a battle charge with something moral inspiring battle cry like "For Terra! For the Emp ... " and then feel my soul carry onto the Emporers warm embrace in the warp ... or would it be the traitor guard lasrifles peppering my soddon cardboard clad pelvis, spleen, chest and neck ...