Sorry, but that is exactly the kind of mindset that has made the term as reviled as it is. If a girl is "nagging" you for favours in the first place, then what are you actually getting out of the relationship anyway?
Absolutely nothing; which is why I stop attempting to pursue a relationship with said person. The problem is they all do it, and it's always the same stories. I personally find it hilarious now that the second they sigh and get one work out I'm able to recite what they're about to say then they look surprised.
Could you clarify exactly what the girl has done wrong in this situation? Because what comes across is that you were friends, you wanted it to be more and she wasn't interested in you romantically. She then asked you for a friendly favour, and dated somebody who she was interested in romantically. I don't understand why either of those two things would earn your ire.
Right I was a bit vague there. It's one thing to be friends, which is a nice thing. It's another thing to insult your so called "friend" (me) in front of your other friends to help fit in better, never hang out and purposely avoid contact with said friend (no matter how minor, it's not like I was stalking, THAT would be creepy.) And not reply to anything on any sources. Then come out of the blue with a "Hey, long time no see." "How've you been?" "Aww I'm sorry; hey my computer broke a few days ago, think you could come fix it?
Stuff like that. It's not a "friendship" no matter what you call it when you're only using the person for favors but ignore them the rest of the time. That's the behavior that sets me off and gets me agitated.
Or, they ask favours of someone that, as far as they're aware, is their friend. If at any point in any relationship, be it friendship, romantic, familial, or any other type, you don't feel that you are getting anything out of the relationship, you have the ability to end it. It's not like any girl is forcing you to do these favours for her.
Oh they know by that point that I'm not their friend... *grumbles* Then they get mad at me when I tell them "No." which only makes me furious that they have the gall to treat me like crap then expect a favor. While I don't use facebook I'm presuming this would be similar to the feelings people get when the person that bullied them nonstop sends them a friend request. Or I could be totally off and just be rambling at this point, I don't know I'm just trying to answer.
It sounds like you have/had a really toxic attitude towards women in general...
...Someone asking you for help after "shooting you down" might just mean the person has a sense of entitlement, and who doesn't these days. Selfishness is not a gender-locked trait...
...It is always easier to put the blame on someone else than it is to look at yourself, honestly, and realize you are at least 50% of what's wrong in the equation.
Yeah I kinda do but after 72'ish of the exact same stories and the exact same crap it gets really old really fast... Do I in general look down on women? Yes, at least the ones I've met and fall into line with the rest. Do I blame myself for said problem? Well as a hard determinist I'd like to redirect people to Pavlov then show them the crappy life story and go "now is it REALLY my fault?" But that's not really on topic. xD
As for the entitlement: Yeah but it's still a real "dick move" for lack of a better phrase. It's like your car gets damaged, you ask someone to repair it, they total it on accident, then go "I'm still getting paid though, right?"
For that last part: Ehh I redirect to the Pavlov thing... I mean while I was pretty pathetic as a little kid, it doesn't help anything that even back in 1st grade people were doing this kind of stuff. ...which the principal and teacher admitted later they were suspending me (sending me home) for things they wouldn't for "normal kids" because they just didn't want to deal with me... despite being the victim... (I hate the whole "professional victim" thing, but when I am, and I quote, "Suspended for my own safety" that's just screwed up)
Master of the Skies said:
I'd think it means they thought they were on good enough terms you wouldn't mind doing them a favor. A request like that isn't entitlement. How you react if someone says no to a request would display your sense of entitlement. Kind of like how that guy reacts to the fact a girl turned him down...
I have nothing wrong with being rejected, I've been rejected and everything was fine. What I don't like is being led on, being squeezed for favors, and being used; only to be thrown into a trash bin, having rumors spread about me, and being treated like complete trash the second I stop doing them favors.
You seem awfully determined to make me the bad guy in the situation and pin everything on me... Any chance it could be that they were just cruel people who treated me like crap in the end and only pretended to like me because I was smart and would help them with things?
I mean I am dead serious, that's what would happen. Even in completely brief "non-friend-zone'ing" scenarios. Math teacher gives out an assignment, says it should take the whole period, I'm done in 20 seconds. For the rest of the period all the girls who had shot me down in the past and at my desk begging and flirting just to try to get the answers out of me. Then after I don't give them the answers they get ticked off at me and treat me like crap until the next time.
EDIT: Encase anyone is wondering, I live in Humboldt County. Don't know if there's any other rumors about the kind of people here aside from "everyone smokes pot".