Insults without swears

[Drakeneo]

The word "Cow" works with anything and insults fat people

 

[manicfoot]

"You queefing oaf"
"Prolapse face"
"You small bean regarder"

 

[DrunkWithPower]

Your mom? That's the cleanest I get.... what comes after that is not but dirty.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

I like insulting people in different languages. It's a bit of a cop out I admit, but people tend to get that I'm insulting them because I'm also glaring.

 

[Sark]

Never get angry when insulting as it makes the enemy win. If they are a person who is stupid and will fail at life, just tell them that they are useless and will never amount to nothing as they have no talent, attractiveness or intelligence. I never insult with swear words as people that use them primarily for insults tend to be rather dull.

 

[ChaoticLegion]

My most used ones have to be either calling people cretinous, biggoted or calling them an ignoramus. It's rather surprising the ammount of people who fit under all three categories.

 

[BrandonMarlo]

Get out of the genepool! You're floating face down in the shallow end and twitching.

 

[SpAc3man]

you got PMS or something? I only say that to guys, they dont normally know what it means which makes it funnier

 

[Arkuni]

"Even a single-celled organism would take a look at your brain and laugh."
"You are the sole reason, that millions of people wants abortions to be funded by the government."

And the mother of all insults:

"Your mamma!"

 

[Blanks]

I have the habit of using pedestrian as an insult

"God ... such a Pedestrian"

 

[Druss the Legend]

I like what Winston Churchill said before he became PM.

WC comes back to motel drunk after partying.

Maid: Mr Churchill, your drunk! (Im assuming this was said in disgust)

Winston Churchill: And you my dear, are ugly but i shall but sober in the morning.

Something along those lines.

 

[Rusman]

You silly git! Ya Bloomin' imbecile! Trollop! Crazy Bint!

Bint is the best no-swearing insult ever.
I call my cat a crazy bint all the time.

Hussy/Wench is good too.

 

[VickyBit]

Not sure if it's been said yet, soo many posts here, but a recent favourite insult of mine is one related to Team Fortress 2, calling people POOR AND IRISH as an insult :V

 

[a well placed gun]

call them a crime against humanity

 

[F3rgioSON]

I simply say.
"EaD"

End of story.

 

[Olikunmissile]

You James Blunt?

Cockney Rhyming slang. James Blunt = ****.

 

[Insomniaku]

From the Arkham Asylum Pirating thread: "It's not a bug in the game's code, it's a bug in your moral code."

 

[Insomniaku]

I like what Winston Churchill said before he became PM.

WC comes back to motel drunk after partying.

Maid: Mr Churchill, your drunk! (Im assuming this was said in disgust)

Winston Churchill: And you my dear, are ugly but i shall but sober in the morning.

Something along those lines.

That Is awesome!

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

You're so stupid you couldn't follow the plot in The Da Vinci Code.
You're so young you still believe Twilight.
You thought you had a pubic hair until you urinated out of it.
Have you started shaving yet? (Double points if it's towards a girl)
When you were born you were so ugly the Doctor slapped your mum.
If your brains were made of chocolate and they doubled every second for a hundred years, you still wouldn't have enough to fill a Smartie.

I'm still fond of Pillock or Pilchard for really stupid things though.

 

[NimbleJack3]

Thou art spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in you!
Scratching could not make it worse, such a face as yours!
Thou smell of mountain goat.
Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog.
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.

Oh yeah. Shakespeare for the win.

Thou Prince of Wales.

Villain, I have done thy mother.