Interesting Wrong Numbers (stripper story?)

[WingedFortress]

However, by far my favourite story is when he just put the telemarketer on hold. He came back 40 minutes later, and the guy was still there.

Well of course he was! I work in a call center, and a 40 minute hold just means one hell of an extended break, depending on the type of call center.

 

[SnowCold]

One time when I was about six a friend of mine was called up by some really creepy guy, and asked tonnes of questions like "How was your day?" "Who are your friends at school?" "Are your parents home?" and other such things, then he asked a question involving doll houses or something and my friend said "Uh... I'm a boy." and the guy hung up.

That was really weird, especially from the point of view of a six year old.

I don't know if to laught, or cry

 

[Lord Krunk]

Next time you pick up the phone say, in a frail grandmotherly voice:

Hello, is Jon there?

It's hilarious to hear their reaction, especially if they're a telemarketer.

 

[Combined]

I once got a call from some guy who wanted to sell me pigs. For my farm.

 

[Hookman]

Oh I love wrong numbers. Whenever I get one I do something really creepy like the death rattle from the grudge. Either that or put a soundboard on really quickly. My favourite soundboard to use is the exorcist just because of the hilarity I get from hearing the caller shit their pants when they hear a loud scream or the infamous line "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"

 

[Elurindel]

Oh I love wrong numbers. Whenever I get one I do something really creepy like the death rattle from the grudge. Either that or put a soundboard on really quickly. My favourite soundboard to use is the exorcist just because of the hilarity I get from hearing the caller shit their pants when they hear a loud scream or the infamous line "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"

I'm a fan of the Arnie soundboard. "Who is your daddy and what does he do?" or "But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"

 

[curlycrouton]

If I get a call from a telemarketer, it usually goes like this:

Telemarketer: Hi, are you interested in double glazing?

Me: Yes! Yes I am! Please, continue.

Telemarketer then proceeds to explain blah blah blah.

Me: Wow! I'd like to put double glazing in my entire house please! And considering it's a huuuuge mansion, that's a lot of money, right? It doesn't matter though, because I'm loaded.

Telemarketer (obviously ecstatic): Ok, so you want the most expensive type?

Me: Yes please!

Telemarketer: Great, if I could take your adress?

Me: OK, it's 6.....+crackling sound+ Oh dear, I'm breaking up here. CAN YOU HEAR ME? Oh dear, this happens from time to time. +crackle+

+bleeeeeeeep+

 

[Hookman]

Oh I love wrong numbers. Whenever I get one I do something really creepy like the death rattle from the grudge. Either that or put a soundboard on really quickly. My favourite soundboard to use is the exorcist just because of the hilarity I get from hearing the caller shit their pants when they hear a loud scream or the infamous line "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"

I'm a fan of the Arnie soundboard. "Who is your daddy and what does he do?" or "But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"

I'll try that out next time.

 

[Captain Wes]

I enjoy playing the quiet game, for those that don't know you ask them to describe something about their service and say nothing. It's great to hear people ramble on and on about what they are selling, occasionally I'll ask them to repeat what they spent 10 min. explaining because my dog needed some attention and I couldn't hear them.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

Me: (*answers phone*) Hello?
Them: You're alive?
Me: Excuse me?
Them: You're alive?
Me: ....Yes, I'm alive.
Them: Dave, I was worried...
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.
Them: Okay. Bye.

It made me wonder how they must have felt when they realized that they had called the wrong number. The feeling of "Holy shit, I'm so relieved" must have gone down the shitter pretty quickly.

 

[Dramatic Flare]

Oh I love wrong numbers. Whenever I get one I do something really creepy like the death rattle from the grudge. Either that or put a soundboard on really quickly. My favourite soundboard to use is the exorcist just because of the hilarity I get from hearing the caller shit their pants when they hear a loud scream or the infamous line "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"

I'm a fan of the Arnie soundboard. "Who is your daddy and what does he do?" or "But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"

I'll try that out next time.

Where can I get these sound boards?I think I need to use them.

 

[NinjaSkills]

This happened to me like five times and they always think I'm this Troy person

 

[Fatalis67]

I picked up the phone once and it was an irate woman screaming at me, who apparently thought I was her boyfriend. It went something like this:
Woman: MARK! YOU LYING BASTARD! YOU'RE A LITTLE
Me: You're a stupid *****.

I wonder if the actual man is still among the living...

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

This happened to me like five times and they always think I'm this Troy person

Reply, "No this isn't Troy, This Is Sparta!"

 

[xitel]

I'm one of the folks that keep getting called about my final warning that my car warranty is about to expire. I don't own a car. And I never have. They've even started leaving voicemails.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Don't get me started. For almost six months now some old woman has called me every week and asked, "Nancy?" I said no almost every single time, if I didn't hang up. Next time she calls I just wanna say, "Nancy can't make it, she is currently hanging from a noose. Can I take a message?"

 

[Hookman]

Oh I love wrong numbers. Whenever I get one I do something really creepy like the death rattle from the grudge. Either that or put a soundboard on really quickly. My favourite soundboard to use is the exorcist just because of the hilarity I get from hearing the caller shit their pants when they hear a loud scream or the infamous line "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"

I'm a fan of the Arnie soundboard. "Who is your daddy and what does he do?" or "But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"

I'll try that out next time.

Where can I get these sound boards?I think I need to use them.

Soundboards.com

 

[wewontdie11]

Some jackass rang my mobile at like one in the morning, probably drunk, claiming I'd slept with his girlfriend. He was adamant he had the right number and I was not about to be the first one to hang up, so I just quoted Dico lines at him for about 20 minutes; including "Is it hot? IS IT? Is it FUCK?", "What the fuck did you say? Oh sorry, I was talking to AM radio." and "You got balls of steel and you ain't taking shit from nobody!" until he hung up.

 

[InvisibleMilk]

I had a hispanic man call me in Biology the other week. So, I stood up, I put it on speaker, and I did this:

Me: huh?
man: ello? is dis juan?
Me(juan): hola!
man:Hola! Juan! you would never beleive me but I think she had twins.
Me:...
man:Juan, im so sorry, but I need to ask you something
me:que?
man:Juan....will you be their godfather?
*click*

my class nearly pissed themselves. We didn't do anything in that class for the next 3 days it was so funny.

 

[Dramatic Flare]

I'm one of the folks that keep getting called about my final warning that my car warranty is about to expire. I don't own a car. And I never have. They've even started leaving voicemails.

I get those for a credit card, and lowering my interest rate. Alas, I don't have a credit card. It amuses me though, from time to time.

And thank you, hookman.