I'm not likely to trust it any time soon. There are plenty out there who would want to take advantage of a beautiful but naive young gel- I mean, lad like myself.
Internet Dating...
- Thread starter Mr.Pandah
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right cause no one will ever lie when you meet them in person, there's also the crime stats about being raped by ppl you meet in person, you are more likely to be raped by a person at a bar than off the internetnotoriouslynx said:
how about the person is really shy and won't go talk to ppl in a bar or their friends won't introduce them to other ppl as they are all friends. also what if you're a gay person in middle america
you don't have to chose the ones the sit picks for you
that being said i don't think it's that bad to meet someone off the net, generally speaking tho i know more couples who started on the net who are still together and have a better relationship than those meeting in a bar/school/wherever
I'm not saying this is correct or I agree with it but I think that people's issues with online dating comes from assuming that you aren't a functional person and can't meet people face to face. Bar/club scene issues are irrelevant to them; its looks like people think that you are so repulsive that you can't get people to talk to you through normal means.Baby Tea said:
I do think that online dating should be a last resort if you can't find normal, healthy compatible people on your own but if you're lets say, a lesbian and can't find other women who like women or are afraid to ask I wouldn't begrudge you trying new methods. This may be my prejudices against the safety issue of meeting people through the internet and I acknowledge that. The stigma seems to be lessening as critics see that people on dating sites are people and not mutants or some such thing and are looking for another way to meet people for serious purposes; either emotionally or sexually.
you DID say bar, a nightclub IS a bar, the only difference is a nightclub usually has loud music. what if ppl you know don't want to date you?notoriouslynx said:
in middle america? i think a black guy has a better chance of being welcomed as the leader of the kkk than the bible belt having a "gay street", also that's a rather bad and ignorant thing to say
Not necessarily, since a lot of the time they only match you with people in your own area.Roamin11 said:
But yes, that's a definite possibility. I wouldn't want to take part in a long-distance relationship... ever.
I have nothing against people who use online dating services. If that's your method, good luck. I personally wouldn't use it, however, since I'm fairly shallow. And yes, I accept and admit it. I don't think they have a part in those "personality exams" for "Are you a shallow bastard?"
I tried it once with really scary results. My roommate had just gotten engaged and I was feeling a little lonely, so I went on a dating site and met a guy. Turns out he was only on there for one reason, and that's all he wanted from me (after one very short date). Really freaked me out and convinced me that internet dating is not the best idea for me, nor would I suggest it to other single females.
It eventually worked for me, so I don't see an issue with it as long as it's healthy and honest.
Edit: I'd like to clarify that I never used an internet dating site to find my current boyfriend so-to-be-fiancee, I just wound up meeting him.
Edit: I'd like to clarify that I never used an internet dating site to find my current boyfriend so-to-be-fiancee, I just wound up meeting him.
Meh never really thought about it. My Mum met her new partner online and thats seems to have worked out well. I probably wouldn't do it now, maybe when I'm older and looking to settle down.
This is not just a flaw of internet dating, it's a flaw of dating in general. You are going to meet people who only want sex out of a relationship wherever you go. The argument of "internet dating is bad because one person who uses it just wanted sex" doesn't really work because if we use that argument we would have to say all dating is bad because some of the people who participate in any form of dating are horny people out for sex.Ridergurl10 said:
I wouldn't say online dating is better or worse than real life dating, just "different". I would never use a site like match.com since they don't really help you get to know a person very well and I don't want a stranger deciding who I have relationships with. However if I met a person online in some other way that I thought would be a good partner I wouldn't let the chance slip by simply because we met online. The main problem I believe most have with internet dating is that the internet isn't a form of communication most people are comfortable with using in an intimate manner. The majority of communication that takes place on the internet is extremely impersonal. A good example is the internet forum where you are not really addressing a person so much as a you are addressing a topic. Personal and intimate communication can happen on the internet, however most people assume this isn't possible since all they have seen on the internet is impersonal communication. Anyone who breaks what is "normal" quickly gets labeled weird or crazy by the majority, just like in real life. There is no logical reason that I have found that makes internet communication less intimate than real life communication which is why most of the arguments against it are along the lines of "it's weird and gross/I would lose my pride/the people who use it are all freaks" without any logical reasoning or supporting evidence behind these arguments. This gives me the impression that it is a social stigma based on stereotypes rather that leads to the hate against internet dating rather than something actually wrong with the practice.
That is not to say that internet dating doesn't have real faults. For one thing the lack of physical contact can make it very hard for many people to have an online relationship since the mutual pleasure that comes from physical contact is often times a major part of the "glue" that keeps a couple together. Most people can't honestly say they would be as kind or supportive to their partner as they are currently if the threat of losing sex privileges and physical contact didn't exist. Another problem is that the lack of tangibility and "existence" provided by being near one's partner can lead to security and trust issues. These faults don't make internet dating bad however, they just make it not a suitable option for everyone.
I agree. It really worked out for them, and I hear our Mauve Ninja is disappearing back to Moose land soon. A pity to lose Purps, but he is going with what is likely best for him.berethond said:
Now, to my own opinions. I don't have any kind of a problem with it. Come the advent of Facebook and the like, it's getting easier to check out the background of your potential date. If you find nothing at all to reference them to I'd say it's better to treat it with suspicion of course. I doubt I'd ever go into such a thing, should it happen, without a great deal of paranoia and background research.
This ease of information is a double-edged sword. Those without such good intentions can easily find you, your friends, your pet dog and various other things such as events you'll be at and people you'll be with.
Nor is it entirely impossible to create a fictional being. It's getting harder to make the person seem truly real, but the ability is still there. So I guess my point is caution, yes, but I wouldn't let that rule out something I considered truly worthwhile.
1. C'mon, you could just as easily lie face to face. I don't have to tell you my real name, or what I really do for a living, or where I live, or my age. The only thing that you couldn't lie about is your appearance. And that's only half the battle. So I don't see a huge advantage for 'face to face' here.notoriouslynx said:
2. I, personally, and many others don't goto nightclubs, or pubs, or bars. I find the whole scene rather silly, and I don't bother. Not everyone works with people they like, and not everyone's friends are 'date-able'. So what options do you suggest?
3. Well I'm happy for you, and I'm sure there are others who don't need it either. But for some, it's a totally viable, and legitimate option. Like I said, not everyone is in high school where meeting people is as easy as the next period or bumping into someone in the cafeteria.
All I'm saying is that it may not be right for you, or me either (Seeing as I'm married), but to call it 'pathetic' is way too harsh for a completely legitimate way of meeting people. Unorthodox isn't always 'pathetic'.
It's not for everyone. If you're very outgoing, selective, and don't have any problems getting women the old fashioned way, there really isn't much of a need to it. For someone like me, who is shy around women and is not the best looker in the world and not into the bar/clubbing scene, it's a god-send. My last 3 gfs were from Match.com, with one relationship lasting over 2 years and the most recent one ended up becoming my wife.
Some pieces of advice:
Avoid women who have been on there for a LONG time. There's probably a bad reason as to why they've been there so long.
Avoid training nurses or teachers. It's a dead-end waiting to happen because they're on there because they "Don't have time to go out and look for a man." If they don't have time to LOOK for one, they're not going to have time to satisfy one either.
Some pieces of advice:
Avoid women who have been on there for a LONG time. There's probably a bad reason as to why they've been there so long.
Avoid training nurses or teachers. It's a dead-end waiting to happen because they're on there because they "Don't have time to go out and look for a man." If they don't have time to LOOK for one, they're not going to have time to satisfy one either.
I disagree with what most of you are saying that you have to meet face-to-face. Imo the anonymity might actually help a shy guy/gal open themselves up to one another emotionally. Sure there's always that part about the looks. But if you find yourself trusting this person with your day to day life info. Why cant you just trust this picture that he/she posted? Also webcam.
I wouldn't say either of them are a superior method. Im just saying some people are too quick to dismiss it or declare it a faux pas.
I wouldn't say either of them are a superior method. Im just saying some people are too quick to dismiss it or declare it a faux pas.
Okay, this is a complicated one.
On one hand, it's accessible and easy and free (depending) and on the other hand, it can be dangerous because you can never really tell.
Personally, I would use it as a medium for finding a potential partner if I could be assed.
On one hand, it's accessible and easy and free (depending) and on the other hand, it can be dangerous because you can never really tell.
Personally, I would use it as a medium for finding a potential partner if I could be assed.