Invent a Terrible Game

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Formica Archonis

Anonymous Source
Nov 13, 2009
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I thought of a game where you do nothing but kill defenseless creatures over and over again but then I realized that someone made that game and posted it online too.:(
 

Tonythion

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Aug 28, 2010
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You need to fap to live, but the only images you can fap to is an image of an old woman in a maids outfit and an old man in a leather thong. You have to use a glove made of sand paper thats hooked up to console...and its all in HD/3D.

The name will be Oldies But Goodies IN-HER-ACTIVE...

sounds like my drunk saturday night.
 

deonte9109

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Sep 8, 2010
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You play as a nameless faceless adventurer in a sandbox world of 1 sq mile. However, the only missions you get are escort missions. And with each escort mission you have to bring the character from on side of the map to the other with no way to regenerate their health while they consistently run into danger getting themselves killed. Oh and during the entire time you are encumbered Fallout 3 style.
 

dbmountain

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Feb 24, 2010
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You have to dunk virtual chocolate chip cookies into a virtual glass of milk. The key is to avoid holding the cookie in too long or else it will get too soft and fall into the glass, resulting in a game over. As well, if you drip any milk while moving the cookies from the glass to your mouth, you are docked points. You score points based on how well you time your cookie dunks. You can customize your cookies with candy-coated chocolate chips and other accessories once you gain enough points. You can also use the points to customize your milk cup
 

Substance-E

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Sep 28, 2010
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The Sims: In Real Time

All the fun of the Sims games now set at the same time pace as the real world. Will your sims' kids grow up to be successful? Play long enough and you might find out. All that's for certain is that they'll turn out better than your kids since you'll have spent their entire childhood playing the game!
 

Firia

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Sep 17, 2007
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Indy Game company A begins development on a title utilizing local artists, writers, and coders. While the game is going well, 50% of the way, Indy Game Company A runs out of money.

Indy Game Company A is purchased by Big Game Company B. Future development happens in Japan, wherein all future development takes place. Half of the original team for Indy Game Company A is fired.

Big Game Company B goes back over the work already completed by Indy Game Company A, and makes changes to localize the game to appeal to Japanese audiences moreso. The protagonist is scrapped, and replaced with a girly 14 year old boy. For no other reason, Boy is also given a 16 year old older sister that Boy refers to as Mom. The interaction between the two is slightly charged with sexual tension. The original character model will be released two years after release of the title as DLC for 3 dollars, but the voice actors and situation will not change, leading to a sort of hilarious dichotomy for anyone still playing.

A high price budget of $250,000 (in japanese yen of course) will be allocated to stellar japanese voice actors to meet the vision of the new director (The old one was fired). $10,000 is the budget for the english speaking voice actors. The original japanese voice track is not included in releases outside japan.

Rushed for development, the game was not tested for compaibility for systems outside of the Japanese systems, leading to several user issues post release, bricked consoles, and a nasty glitch that wipes save data if the user does something like a standard save after an auto-save.

GameReviewers.cam, the hottest game review site in the hypothetical world of games will be bribed by Big Game Company B to give the game a high score. Millions are fooled by the 9.75 score GameReviewers.cam, and buy the game en mass. Millions disapointed.

Forums everywhere explode; flame wars about why J-Games suck, and defended by those dedicated enough to play to the end and read the credits that Indy Game Company A was also involved in some way.

2 years later. The sequel is introduced.
 

Zeema

The Furry Gamer
Jun 29, 2010
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the game is Captain Bland's Monotonous Adventure

you are in room and you are asked about the room you have 4 questions and they all are wrong and u can only talk to that guy and you cant move also theres a game console with ET in it and no controller

so its kinda like SAW except nerdy
 

XMark

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Jan 25, 2010
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Town Greeter quest - it's an RPG except you just play the guy at the entrance to a town welcoming adventurers and stating the name of the town.

The game is very short because it takes place in the hero's home town which gets burned down by the evil overlord's henchmen 1 hour into the game.
 

Lyri

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Dec 8, 2008
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You are Larry, a bottle of Tabasco from the future.

It's 14 turkeys past Christmas, and shit just got real. Your only hope is to find the lamb of Lamentation and inquire about a new insurance policy for your double glazing.

Through the use of Quick time events & additional bongo drum addons. You have the power to save the cabbage patch.
 

AbsoluteVirtue18

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Jan 14, 2009
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[sub][sub] I had to do this.[/sub][/sub]

In Tomb Raider 3, create a storyline in which Lara gets breast cancer. Imagine the drama of a vulnerable Lara Croft still persisting on her wordly adventures despite her illness. It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the gaming world would be shocked, stunned, and moved by the effort to make Lara's character more meaningful.


 
Apr 29, 2010
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As the player, you must journey through Kotick's colon. You win the game by being flushed down the toilet.
 

Infernai

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Apr 14, 2009
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Make a gritty modern day version of Sonic the Hedgehog, where he is a former runner who was disbarred for a drug addiction. And, in the game, Amy rose is captured by Dr. Eggman, who has been remade into a more realistic version, and he is tasked with rescuing her before he decides to nuke the bahama's. In the game, sonic can only run for a small amount of time before he has to 'take breaks' and rest, literally stopping whenever the meter drops. He also only has a basic "punch punch kick" attack combo, and nothing more. AND, to top it all off...every mission has a time-limit, With a few escort missions thrown in that have very crappy A.I who try to get themselves killed all the time

TOP IT! I dare you!
 

Wuffykins

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Jun 21, 2010
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Don't Punch Bobby Kotick in the Face.

Basically the game is listening to Bobby Kotick's insane comments and watching him make more money than you'll ever have, all while not punching him in the face or performing other acts of violence against him. Giving in and pressing the 'attack' button only gives an instant GAME OVER as Bobby laughs at you and sues you for some random thing, increasing his wealth.

Features almost life-like HD graphics simply because it can, and has automatic DLC updates to keep up with what he will inevitably be spoken by him with the added convenience of charging you $10 before you're even aware you're downloading the update.
 

Halceon

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Jan 31, 2009
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Dark Knifer said:
A generic first person shooter where there is a narrator who critisise every single move you make. And if you die, it's a black screen for 30 seconds with him telling you that you are useless and you should die.
That is actually a great parodical take on shooters. I'd play that.

Also, i know the rule is no actual games, but i don't think you can make anything worse than this:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tl8xeWd7mU[/youtube]
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
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Two Ideas

A Dark fantasy epic that consists of a two and a half hour cutscene, then the game ends.

You take on the role as a peasant in a fantasy RPG, you must wanter around town in a certain patteren doing mundane chores and complaining about how hard your life is, the Hero of the game mgiht occasionally talk to you and loot your house, you continue this untill you either die from disease old age or are killed by a monster.
 

Wuffykins

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Jun 21, 2010
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Vault101 said:
A Dark fantasy epic that consists of a two and a half hour cutscene, then the game ends.
This is after a lengthy character creation process, correct?
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
15
43
Wuffykins said:
Vault101 said:
A Dark fantasy epic that consists of a two and a half hour cutscene, then the game ends.
This is after a lengthy character creation process, correct?
Yes, you must customize every detail of your charachers face, except it turns our your chatachter is a ninja and spends the whole thing wearing a mask.